Guest Post: Becoming Leigh

Leigh-Headshot-21Back at the end of March, we each did a presentation to a group of classmates that was a creative expression of how we were obtaining the information and skills we were learning in class. Now there is this wonderful spunky human being in my class that goes by the name of Leigh. She was in the group next to me doing her presentation and I remember wishing that I could hear what she was doing because she’s a very fun person so I knew it had to be great. Plus she was dressed in a tutu which is always awesome!!!

After our group presentations, one person was picked from each group to present in front of the entire class. Well I happened to be in Labor that day so I missed out on all the fun. I’m not sure if Leigh was one of the people who presented in front of the entire class but I saw that she had posted her presentation on her blog and wanted to share it. It reminds me of The Egg story I posted before.

And this ladies and gents is Leigh’s creative story about a Divine being getting ready to have a Human Experience.  Enjoy

 

Hello God, Divine Being #337512728 here.  I heard you wanted to see me?  What?  It’s my time?  I get to go shooting to earth trailing clouds of glory and begin manning my earthsuit?!  Awesome!  I am ready.  What earthsuit am I going to get?

Leigh? In Kansas?  Leigh, is that a boy or a girl?  A girl, ok.  But, Kansas?  Oh, she doesn’t stay long.

Where is she, I am ready to see her!

Oh, there she is!  She’s darling!  She’s so cute!  Her mother’s not  touching her.  She is completely neglecting her. Oh my, her dad is spanking her little 7 year old tush too hard.  He’s taking his rage out on her.  Look at her, she feels so alone.

Ok.  Let me think for a minute…her earth school curriculum is going to be… Unworthiness?  Am I right?  Yes! (celebration)  I knew I would get in on the first try.

God, I don’t mean to judge your work, but why do so many people get that curriculum?  Couldn’t you think of something more original?  I don’t get it; it’s like every time….

Okay, okay, I’ll focus.

There she is in 3rd grade.  She is fist fighting with Greg Hyde and David Bishop.  God, do something!  (pause) Oh, she beat them both up.  Is this the ‘all of life is a learning lesson’ theory?  Got it.

She’s in 4th grade and she just became Miss Jr. Overland Park at her local mall.  She is taking risks and being rewarded.  Good for her!

She’s in 6th grade.  She became the first girl president of John Deimer Elementary School!  She’s learning to over come her obstacles.

Jr. High; cheerleading, drill team, and volleyball.  High School cheerleading, drill team, she’s a good dancer.  She is really using the creative talents you have given her, God.  Look at her go.

She’s at the end of senior year and she loses her virginity at 18 to Bruce Oothout.  That’s because she thought that was the guy she was going to marry.  Glad that didn’t work out huh, God?

College…oh my.  Girls gone wild!  Drinking, sex, drugs and eating too much pizza.  She is running too fast.  Doesn’t she know she is better than that?  Oh wait… she is living her earth school curriculum of being unworthy.  In that case, she is doing a really great job.  But, please tell me she figures it out soon.  That’s hard to watch.

She graduated with a degree in Recreation and Leisure.  That gave her surgeon father a hearty belly laugh.  And she’s off; St. Thomas Virgin Islands, Guam, and she became a SCUBA diving instructor for Club Med, Tahiti?  God, I’m going to have a blast!

She’s settling down in Los Angeles – wouldn’t you know she ended up in the city of angels.  She is still partying hard and making out.

Look God, she is now 31, sick of being single, and is coming to you for help.  She is being so specific with her prayer.  Boy did you answer… David Koechner!  You must really like this girl to give her Dave, he is one of the brightest souls around.  She is starting to heal in the safe space that they have created.  She is doing her work, going to therapy, breaking the childhood armor around her heart.

Oh man, she almost died having her first kid and lost her uterus.  She wanted a big family.  She is so sad.  But, I bet it turned out great didn’t it God?  Oh really?  Better than she every imagined?  4 more kids with the help of two gestational surrogates?  That is not at all how she planned having a family, but life rarely goes as they plan, does it God?

Wait, I’m going to be a mom to 5 kids?  Holy Cow.  Thank You that she is healing, so she doesn’t continue the cycle that her mother gave her.

She is a bit disconnected from her kids, but sees it and is working on it.  She is taking responsibility for her actions.  She is starting an authentic dialogue with her husband and children.

Look at Leigh’s blog.  She is sharing what she has learned and helping others.  Good for her!  That’s what we are called to do.  People are really connecting with her honesty.  God, she is using the unworthiness and feeling alone from her childhood to let others know “you are not alone” as adults.  This is beautiful.  This is what you want!  She is reframing her issues as blessings!

No way!  She enrolled at USM- your spirit school?

Look at her soar.  Leigh is writing her books, enjoying her speaking engagements, and hosting the joy filled show she always knew she would have.  Her light is bubbling out of her and sparkling glitter on the paths of others.  Her husband’s variety show is number one in the nation.

What God?  It’s time to go?  Wait, what else happens?!?  I’ll be back in 88 years?  You’re right, that really is just a snap of your finger.

You are about to tell me the part that everyone said would freak me out?  What is it?

When I get down there I won’t remember anything, not even this conversation?  This is an outrage, God!  How can you leave me?  Oh right, you’ll be with me all along.  I just wish it didn’t take me 30 some odd years to remember that.

Okay.  Okay.  I’m going. (3 deep breaths)

Here I go.  Don’t push me!  1 2 3

Jump and yell, “I am trailing clouds of glory!!!!!!!”

(contract.  hold.  slowly stand up, open eyes, blink slowly for a bit while looking around, and then cry like a newborn.)

And so it begins…

 

Leigh Koechner Parenting Expert, Speaker, Author, and Mother of Five, shares her take on how this life goes down. Find more of Leigh’s at www.absoluteLeigh.com

Ending Year One and Remembering What Has Always Been

thumbnailI remember when I was a really small child, maybe 5 or 6, and having an “Inner Body Experience” as I would like to call it. I could stare at my hand for a few seconds and all of a sudden feel myself as a soul inside of my body. It was as if I was watching a movie or a play and watching my thoughts and watching life happen in front of me. I would trip out a bit thinking about how I am a person with a body and this is all real yet having this knowing that I and everyone else was much more than what I could see or comprehend at the time.

Having this experience was almost like a high for me. I remember the first time I did it, i felt weird and didn’t really know what was happening but after a few times of having this experience, I was able to control it and all I had to do was look at my hand and I would disappear into this Inner Body Experience. I could look into the mirror, look at my face and know that I was not my body or my thoughts. I was a soul. I was the Universe. I knew that I was Love.

As I got older and started identifying more with myself as my ego, the Inner Body Experiences happened less and less until they didn’t happen at all anymore. Not that they couldn’t, but as experiences happened, I simply started to forget who I was. I identified with my body, with my thoughts, with my behaviors. It wasn’t until recently that I even remembered the Inner Body Experiences ever happening at all.

After going through a really depressing stage in my life, probably one of the worst times ever, back when I was 23 years old and pregnant with my first son, I started to rediscover my Self.

“A certain desperation is usually necessary before we’re ready for God… Until your knees finally hit the floor, you’re just playing at life, and on some level you’re scared because you know you’re just playing. The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It’s when it begins”
-Marianne Williamson

It felt like I had dove head first into a never ending well and couldn’t stop. I was taking seminars, and reading books, and watching movies, and learning a bunch of things that resonated with every single thing I felt I ever believed in during all the years before. My “knowing” and my inner feelings were being expressed through these things in ways that I could never express outside myself. The best part was that none of this felt like I was “learning” anything but rather was “remembering” it all.

I would open a book and everything I read was like something I already knew inside and I was getting validation for my previous thoughts and beliefs. It was the learning how to BE these things that became the hard part. After living years and years in my ego, forgetting what I felt and knew when I was 5 and 6 years old, living this more conscious lifestyle wasn’t so easy. Especially because the ego will do anything it can to make sure you hold on to it.

When I discovered the University of Santa Monica, the school for Spiritual Psychology, my heart almost fell out of my chest. To take classes and get hands on experience in learning how to break down the barriers that are preventing me from living the full expression of my soul, seemed like I had stepped into a miracle. Everything I had ever connected so deeply with, was being taught in an experiential way through this school. So not only was I going to further the “remembering” but I was going to get practice in learning how to “walk the talk”.

This last 9 months of school has been nothing short of amazing. There was not a moment that I felt I didn’t want to be in class. I craved the environment we all created and the loving energy that existed by stepping foot into the classroom, even being pregnant. It was safe, and accepting. Loving and vulnerable. I had connected so profoundly and deeply with almost every single person I ever talked to in that classroom. I had seen myself as them when they spoke and I knew they saw themselves as me when I spoke. The feeling of unity and oneness was experienced every weekend that I had class (which was one weekend a month). It became impossible to look at anyone in my class and not just love the shit out of them. It was impossible!!!

We had a 6 day lab as the last week of school; It was the chance to really go deeper into our experience of healing and resolving. We set intentions about what we wanted to get out of the lab. Most people wanted to go where they were afraid to go before. To touch on the things they were afraid to touch on before. To jump off the ledge and prove to themselves that they indeed knew how to fly.

I learned the true power of intention during this time. The true power in following through with what you intend. One after one, all week, people were healing and growing and loving and knowing. Including myself. Everyone just seemed so beautiful and light filled. It was intense and nothing I had experienced before.

As I woke up on the last day of class, I felt like my heart was on fire. I felt like it was the end of something even though class would start again in 3 short months. Through out the year I had judged my process so much, and this time I finally felt like my heart was just opening. As I stepped into the classroom and saw all the beautiful faces of my classmates, I felt so overcome with love that I just wanted to cry uncontrollably. Every person I saw, I saw past their body, I saw past their thoughts, their behaviors, their personalities. I saw right into their loving essence.

My intention for that last class was just to remember WHO I AM. That morning I remembered how when I was 6 I would look at my hand and have my Inner Body Experiences. I started to talk about who I am as a Soul and my Authentic being, my truth.

I am not my body, I am not my thought. I am not my behaviors or personality.

I AM ACCEPTANCE, I AM JOY, I AM PEACE, I AM VULNERABILITY, I BRAVE, I AM COURAGEOUS, I AM FREEDOM,  I AM THE UNIVERSE, I AM LOVE!!!!!!

I AM EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE IN EVERYONE ELSE. This means that All the great awesome qualities I was seeing in my classmates, I Am those things too. I AM! All I have to do is remember that. I was finally getting it.

I left my last class feeling the best I had felt in a very long time. I was finally remembering it all. I was finally returning to love. My heart was burning with what had always existed inside.

The one thing that trips me out is that I started class 4 months pregnant. I grew a human being inside of my body during 5 months of the year. Class was the last place I was before going to the hospital and giving birth to my baby boy. They say your consciousness exists in every cell of your body, so to think of the consciousness my child entered this world with blows my mind. He’s he happiest baby I’ve ever seen. Crazy thing is that, when I started this journey at 23, I was pregnant then too and I was going through an intense spiritual growth period. My son that was born then was always super happy and chill. I’m convinced that this awakening has a lot to do with it. People ask me now how did I get so lucky, my reply is “USM!”. 🙂

The journey has not ended by any means, there is still a lot of work to do, but I have clear intentions on what I see for my life. How I want to serve others, and I can’t serve others without honoring my SELF. This first year was only the beginning! I am returning to Love.

Here’s to the end of a miraculous year. To all the classmates I met and connected with, and even the ones I never got to talk to,  you are beautiful. You are loved!!!

Can’t wait for year two! watch out world, WE’RE COMING!

xoxo,

barista

The Egg

image via tantrictransformation.com

image via tantrictransformation.com

A classmate shared this story the other day and I absolutely loved it so of course I can’t hold out on you. So hope you enjoy it like I do.

The Egg
By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

USM Quotes

you know, sometimes I feel like there is so much I want to talk about that I get stuck and can’t talk about anything at all. I really have to start jotting my thoughts down as i think them so when the time comes I don’t get so stuck.  I had school this weekend and while I was there, thought of so many things I wanted to say and talk about but of course now that I am here in front of this computer I feel almost overwhelmed at all that I have learned. 

SoOoOoOOoooo today I am just going to share some awesome quotes that are written on the worksheets they hand out in class that are inspiring and have to do with the topics and skills we discuss. I’ll then try to organize my thoughts so I can come to you with great knowledge next time. Sound good? Thanks for being Awesome!

“Listening is a magnetic strange thing, a creative force. When people really listen to each other in a quiet, fascinated attention, the creative fountain inside each of us begins to spring and cast up new thoughts and unexpected wisdom”
– Brenda Ueland

” ‘Once you realize that the world is your projection, you will be free of it’, a guru told his followers. ‘Everything existing around you is painted on the screen of your consciousness. The picture you see may be ugly or beautiful, but in either case you are not bound by it. Rest assured, there is no one who has forced it on you. You are trapped only because of your habit of mistaking the imaginary for real’ ”
– Deepak Chopra (Unconditional Life)

If-you-don't-change-your-beliefs,-your-life-will-be-like-this-forever.-Is-that-good-news?

” It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are”
e.e. Cummings

“The message sent is not always the message received”
– Virgin Satir

henrymiller-new-way-of-seeing-things

“Three-Fourths of the miseries and misunderstandings in the world will disappear if we step into the shoes of our adversaries and understand their standpoint”
– Gandhi

“Look at the word responsibility – “response-ability” – the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that resonsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior…Until a person an say deeply and honestly, ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’, that person can not say ‘I choose otherwise’ ”
– Stephen Covey

Eleanor-Roosevelt-In-the-long-run

Alice came to a fork in the road. “Which road do I take?” She asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire Cat. 
“I don’t know” answered Alice. 
“Then”, said the cat, “it doesn’t matter”    
– Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

“You can not escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today”
– Abraham Lincoln

preview

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing; the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”
– Viktor Frankl

“The secret to success is constancy to purpose”
– Benjamin Disraeli

Enjoy.

xoxo

barista