How To Create A Heart-Centered Affirmation and Radically Change Your Life!

CatAndMirrorGood Afternoon,

Today I want to talk a little bit about Affirmations and how they can help change your life. If you don’t know what an affirmation is, it is a statement of intention. Something you want to affirm as being true. When we create affirmations, it is a statement we are affirming to the Universe that is expressing the direction in which we intend to move towards.

We all express lots of self talk during the day but the question is… how empowering is it? As discussed on many occasions before, our thoughts lead to our feelings. Repeated thoughts then lead to beliefs. So when you take some time to think about some of the thoughts that go through our head, especially the ones that happen continuously, what are some things you have declared to be true?

“I’m never going to lose this weight”
“They don’t care about me”
“I’m never going to find a good guy/girl”
“My relationship will never get better”
“I don’t have money or time to take a nice vacation

How many of you have thought these exact thoughts or ones that were similar? Can you see how statements like this can cause you to feel disempowered? To feel victimized, like you have no control over your life or your future. My guess is, when these thoughts come up, it doesn’t leave you feeling really good. Do you want to feel good? Do you wan to feel empowered? Do you want to feel like you do have control over your future and have a say in creating the reality that you would like? Changing “I’m never going to lose this weight” into “I am capable of losing this weight” is one thing but let’s go a little further and create a powerful Heart-Centered Affirmation that bring out the qualities that you want to share with the world. Something that gives you power and motivation that will heal and change your whole life for the better. Let’s start manifesting the person you know you are inside. C’mon let’s do it!

There are many types of Affirmations, today we are going to focus on creating a Heart-Centered one which focus on the quality or qualities you want to portray in your everyday life. These next steps are steps from a worksheet I received at school that helped me create powerful statement.

HOW TO CREATE A HEART-CENTERED AFFIRMATION

1. Pick a Quality (or Qualities)
In this step you want to think about qualities you want to strengthen in your current life. Attributes that would assist you in outwardly and inwardly calling you forward to that of your true Loving Essence. Something you want to posses more of. One thing we did in class was we sat in meditation for a few minutes focusing on the step and would pick the first quality or few qualities that would come to mind. You can also look at a list and pick one or two that bring a spark to your inner self when you read it

2. Anchor in Spirit by beginning with I AM…..
This is an important step because you are affirming that this statement is already true. You already posses these qualities.

3. Bring your process into the present (NOW)
We can do this by using action words ending in “ing” or “ly”. We can even insert our qualities right here. Example, If your quality is Acceptance then you want to use AcceptING. If your quality is Courageous then you will use CourageousLY.

4. Maintain a positive forward focus
Stay away from using phrases like I AM NOT or any words that are used in the negative.

5. Use energizing and descriptive words
This will help enliven and enrich your affirmation.

6. Include your Quality.
This seems like a no-brainer but sometimes we can get lost in the descriptive vocabulary, describing the traits of the quality that we can forget to use the actual word. If you did not use your quality in action form during Step 2 then make you don’t forget to insert it somewhere.

7. Include both Inner and Outer focus
This means focus on the intentions you want to bring forward from within and outside.

8. Include Enthusiasm.
This will help empower your process and make you feel excited when you think about or read your affirmation.

Here are some examples my teacher gave of affirmations using the guidelines above:

Quality: Trust
“I am trusting my Loving and sharing it openly”
– Inner focus “trusting my loving”
-Outer focus “sharing it openly”

Quality: Surrender
“I am surrendering to Spirit’s Love and sharing my joy with all”
-Inner Focus “surrending to Sprit’s Love”
-Outer Focus “Sharing my joy with all”

Quality: Courage. Strength of Heart. Trust. Authentic Expression.
“I am courageously standing in the Strength of my heart, gracefully trusting and following my inner guidance, authentically expressing my gifts in the world, while sharing the beauty of who I am”
-Inner Focus “courageously standing in the Strength of my heart, gracefully trusting and following my inner guidance”
-Outer Focus “authentically expressing my gifts in the world, while sharing the beauty of who I am

Once you have created an affirmation that resonates powerfully with you, you want to make sure to bring it alive within your Self. You have to know that your quality already exists within your consciousness in its full entirety. To bring overall change and healing in your life you want to engage with your affirmation on a daily basis. Speak it with heart. Write it down in multiple places so you can see it and be reminded of it often. Feel it’s presence and power inside. Hold a clear positive intention to activate and energize your quality within. Visualize yourself embodying your quality and affirmation. Lastly, use your everyday experiences as opportunities to demonstrate your quality and affirmation.

Using meaningful affirmations can have a HUGE effect on your overall life and experience of the world. They empower you to create the experiences you wish to have in your life. They allow you to shift your thinking and program new beliefs which will lead you to take action in the direction you truly desire. Sometimes it may feel weird at first, especially if you’re not used to believing it, but if it holds meaning to you, it will start to transform your overall being. You can create more than one and you can change an existing one as you see fit and as your experiences change. The key is to feel the power and let it live within, therefore to be expressed authentically.

Go ahead give it a try!!! Share your affirmation below, let me know if you need help.

My current Affirmation: “I am freely standing in my truth, sharing my soul courageously with others, thus creating Authentic Empowerment within and all around me”

live inspired!

xoxo,

barista

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Are You Having A Hard Time Staying Motivated? Here’s Why

Competition

“A lot of people jump into higher consciousness, and forget about lower consciousness. They haven’t done their ego work, their feeling work. They’re bliss’d out. It’s just another mood alteration, and it’s a hell of a trip. I did it myself….it became very important to me to realize all of that was a kind of intellectual defense – a wonderful mood alteration, compulsive spirituality. It was a way to stay out of my feelings. I think all that stuff is really valid, but if you don’t do your ego work – what I call the original pain work – it WILL pull you back” – John Bradshaw

Have you ever felt highly motivated about something, you feel great about it and slowly but surely that motivation fades away and you feel like your back where you started? I feel like that happens to me a lot in a lot of different areas. One for example is when I want to start working out and feeling healthy. I will start to wakeup early, maybe do some morning exercise videos. Eat a healthy breakfast, maybe even juice and drink some tea. Go to the gym after work, occasionally fit in some bikram yoga. Start a nice bedtime routine and feel wonderful like “This is how the day should go everyday“. Then slowly but surely over the course of a few weeks, sometimes even just a few days, some of the new habits starts to fall off until eventually I’m back where I started agonizing over why I can’t keep going.

One of the first things we learned in class was the different realms we work from. At the top there is the physical realm. The act of DOING stuff. Underneath that is the Mental realm which is our THINKING. Next under that the Emotional realm which of course is our FEELING. Together the Mental realm and the Emotional Realm is what we call our EGO. Underneath that is the unconscious, things that are there but we do not remember whatsoever. And lastly under that is our Spiritual Realm aka our Authentic Self which is one of Love, acceptance, peace, joy etc. It’s who we TRULY are, our SOUL.

DOING leads to THINKING leads to FEELING. Things that are in the unconscious are unknown of course (otherwise we’d be conscious of them) and those things will come up as they need to when its perfect time for you to deal with them.

So to explain this method of DOING something and feeling motivated and then regressing back to your original state, we have to look and work on our ego. Our ego likes to play tug of war with our authentic self. It doesn’t like being pushed to the side and forgotten about. So in moments when we feel our Authentic self and we act on it, our ego will feel a bit left out so you know what he does? He gently and sometimes not so gently will start to a game of tug of war with our soul. 

The soul has us thinking and feeling “You will feel wonderful…you will be at peace and grateful and full of love and wanna dance in the field of happiness with the world”  well the ego pulls back and says “oh no….you can’t forget about me…I’m gonna make you feel separated, jealous, intolerance and anger” and he lead us into situations in which we will be forced to deal with all the mental and emotional unresolved issues that were stopping us from acting from our Authentic selves in the first place.

We might feel very spiritual and authentic in a moment but unless we have the knowledge, skills, and experience etc to deal with and resolve the stuff the ego has brung forth, we will be unable to sustain the positive physical actions. On the other hand when you are able to resolve them, when you find yourself in situations, the feelings the ego will try to push on you will no longer bother you and it is then when you can consistently start to move forward in the physical task you are wanting to progress in.

I have come to see how this pattern has been true for me. I have been living in a sort of spiritual entertainment state for the last 4 years. Reading the books, attending the seminars, helping others, feeling the bliss from the positive physical actions. But I also know I have done very little to really work on the ego aka original pain work. I just haven’t had the right skills to be able to effectively do so. So with no fail, I do find myself pulled back into a war in which my ego likes to win. That one time I skip out on going to the gym or eat something bad takes me to a place of negative self talk, shame, and all the pain work that had me in a place of “not-doing” to begin with and that discourages me until im back at…..you guessed it NOT DOING!

The question then becomes, Well Barista, how do we deal with ego and the pain work? How can we work to dissolve it?

Yoga at the nature

That answer can be different for everyone. I don’t know if I have that answer. Previously for me the answer was to read lots of spiritual books, listen to online conferences, read uplifting blogs, immerse myself in spirituality and while that all is awesome, without doing the “pain work”, it’s nothing much different then alcohol or drugs. It became addicting because it’s was giving me the blissful feeling without having to deal with the hard stuff. And when stuff did get hard it became really easy to blame others…well he isn’t doing all the “work” I’m doing so he just doesn’t understand.

Listening to people talk and reading blogs are good but it’s just words. It’s just someone talking or me reading. Doing yoga, juicing, exercising, attending seminars, even me making a move and applying to school and any other “spiritual” practice is all good stuff, definitely GREAT STARTS but if you’re just using it to temporarily forget about the “pain work” and not experiencing and dissolving the ego then you WILL find yourself back in the same place you were before you started.

This is one reason I am highly appreciative and grateful for my school in this moment. It is giving me the tools and most importantly the experience in a safe environment which is VERY important. I am able to not only work on myself through experience with my classmates but I also get to experience these classmates as other souls working on the same goal. Connect to their loving essence. This is teaching me to release judgement and learn self compassion and compassion for others. Having this experience in this type of environment then allows me to enter into the “outside world” which may not feel so safe all the time, and allows me to fully practice and recreate the feelings I have created inside the safe environment. Not only that its one full weekend at a time.

Although I do highly recommend USM to everyone on the planet, I’m not suggesting its the only way to go. But I am suggesting to find the support that works for you. One that allows you to practice without judgement and one that is full of love and acceptance. You’re current practices may work but when you see that ego surface use that opportunity to figure out the underlying pains and work on dissolving those.

A common thing for us to do is to blame and try to change the outside factors so we don’t have to deal with what’s going on inside of us. but it’s when we learn to take responsibility for those moments that we start to dissolve them. Those moments may not always feel so great. There is crying, and headaches, and lots and lots of turmoil, but there’s also connection and love and forgiveness and acceptance…most importantly in yourself. The ego can then no longer sustain our authentic selves and our soul becomes stronger. It’s when feeling and thinking those qualities in ourselves that we no longer have to blame the outside world. We then welcome it with open arms and love. These are the moments in which you grow and good news is, those are the moments that prove you are willing to feel alive. If you aren’t feeling the Ying and the Yang, you are moving through life dead and we all know there’s no fulfillment in that.

In what areas do you find yourself highly motivated but then regressed? Do you notice if you are pushing away the ego or do you work on dissolving it? Take a moment to look at your practice and see where you can improve on the pain work.

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

Stay tuned and see how my process is developing along the way while attending USM.

xoxo,

barista

Ps: If you are indeed ready to start working on dissolving the issues that are holding you back, I am Very very proud to announce USM is still enrolling students. The only requirement is that you want to become a better YOU. While, if you qualify,  you can get your Masters Degree, there are people that aren’t working on that. Being that it’s only one weekend a month, you can live anywhere on the planet and attend. There are people in my class from Boston, Florida, Virginia, Canada, Mexico and many more places other than Los Angeles. Invest in YOU. ITS YOUR TIME!

for more info click here

What I Learned From My First Day of School

I officially finished my first evening of class at the University of Santa Monica. I have to admit I was quite nervous and had no idea what to expect. As I got to the University though, it immediately felt welcoming by staff and other students. I expect it from staff but I wasn’t sure what to expect from everyone else. It felt though like everyone was so eager to meet others which was a very comforting feeling.

Upon class starting I just kept sitting there thinking… “I did it, I’m HERE”. It was somewhat of a surreal experience to look around and see all the different faces from all walks of life, all areas of the Country as well as some people traveling from other countries. After talking to a few people before school started, I felt the connective energy like we were all feeling the same. Unsure about exactly what to expect, nervous to start digging deep into our unhealed subconscious, but ready with excitement to start becoming better versions of ourselves. My first evening went amazing and I have a feeling you will get a lot out from me on these weekends that I  have school being that I come out with new experiences and feelings fresh in mind.

Today we learned two basic skills. “Seeing the Loving Essence” and Heart-Centered Listening”. Two very important skills when learning to experience oneself as a soul having a human experience. Two VERY important skills that were great starters because it will help us throughout our experience at school to learn to see people as one and really grasp the truth of being souls having a human experience. The Professor called it, “seeing and hearing with Soul-centered eyes and ears”. 

To sum up Seeing the Loving Essence, it is “not about solving people’s ‘problems’ nor is it about ‘fixing’ them. It is about how you will ‘be’ with them. In my own words I connected that it is about “SEEING” someone as another soul and connecting with them on that level versus the physical form that they seem to be. Connecting through the energy of LOVE. It is important because as we begin to connect more with ourselves as spiritual beings comes the ability to connect with others as spiritual beings. It leaves a space open for us to be accepting to others as they are in their truth rather than what their personality or ego may be projecting. A lot of times we like to hold on so much to the personality or ego because we use that to protect ourselves but it separates us and gives us excuses as to why we are different. We have to remember that personality and ego are just outside layers covering the truth of someone and underneath we really are all the same. 

We then went into talking about the importance of listening from the heart. One of the things that “pinged” my mind (I got that description from a peer in class) was when the Professor stated that “words are just reference points that help us try to communicate something”…. he went on to explain “book and libro are just words that communicate something…they are describing the same thing but both words are NOT books, they are just words…Words are not the things they represent”. This stuck out to me a lot because I think I can tend to get caught up in the words being said and my meaning of them and less connected with the feelings and expression behind the words. A question he suggested we ask ourselves when listening to others was “What is being expressed behind the words being said?” We learned how to listen from the heart while being fully present. A major part of this was listening was resisting the urge to give advice. That’s where I knew there was a learning experience for me.

I talk to a lot of friends all the time. I tend to be someone my friends feel like they can talk to about meaningful situations. The thing is, I do find myself constantly giving advice, which I learned tonight that often while doing that you are more focused on listening with the intent to fix a problem versus just listening from the heart and connecting with the person talking. We have been trained all our lives to fix problems so it’s not surprising that it is the way most people listen. Because people tend to always come back to me for conversation, I often feel like my advice is worth giving, and truthfully maybe sometimes it is worth giving WHEN ASKED FOR, but I learned tonight that listening is one of the most important parts of connective communication.

At the end of the night we got into groups of three and we practiced talking, listening, and observing. Each person got a chance to do each. It was interesting to feel the drastic change in the energy when practicing each role and experience. Not only that, just relating to each other about how each of us felt being in each seat. Every time the group started a new conversation we started with focusing upon opening up into our authentic selves, setting an intention for that conversation according to what role we were in, and asking the spirits for help assisting us with our intention. 

When I was in the “client” seat, I think this was the “hot seat” for us all, I felt how hard it can be for me to open up, be vulnerable, and speak from an authentic place deep within. I spend so much time giving advice that I often avoid being the talker. As the client We had to talk for 17 minutes about something meaningful to us. As I realized I was going to be the client for the first role, my first thoughts were “What am I going to talk to these strangers about for 17 minutes” . Because I was the only one at the time that was expected to talk and share, I was able to feel that vulnerability of feeling open and naked but was forced to work through the fears I was having at the time and open up about something that was meaningful to me. While I got to experience how it felt to share and be vulnerable, at the same time I got to feel what its like to be truly listened to and connected with. By being in this role I felt more powerful in my need to step in that fear and express myself more in the relationships that I have.

While being in the “facilitator” aka a listener’s seat,  I was to listen while assisting to helping the “client” find their own answers by asking questions without giving advice. While sitting in this seat and listening to the client speak, I found the profound difference in “listening” and “hearing”. Most of the time I do a lot of hearing but not a lot of listening. I went into that seat with the intention to listen for the expression and less for the words. To also connect instead of seeking to solve a problem. My eyes opened a lot here because I felt I was able to connect with the client on such a profound level and just realizing how much I can miss out on with others because I’m not really listening from a place of love and connection. It also made me realize why TALKING to someone is so important. I do a lot of text or typing online with people and by doing that I am missing out on the key components of how listening is really effective. Through talking to someone, even better if it can be in person, you are able to feel the energy of what is being expressed in their tone and their meaning instead of just seeing words and attaching our own meaning to and tone to them.

Next time you are in a text conversation, it is very important to remember, as much as you think you are feeling and seeing what is being expressed, without the physical tone and energy of the other person talking, you really are ONLY attaching YOUR meaning to the words and what’s inside of YOU not them. Not only that, usually while texting, we are distracted at the same time so our attention is never fully present with the other person. I’ve learned to try to avoid trying to get into important conversations through text. Tell someone “I want to be able to be fully attentive and feel and connect with what you are saying, let’s talk on the phone or meet up in person”

And finally being the observer, It was nice to see and connect fully with the relationship of two people having effective communication. Watching one be vulnerable while the other listens with their heart. To experience that from an outside view was very eye-opening and leads to more clear intentions of what I want my relationships to feel and look like. It also gave me the opportunity to purely just listen and see without the expectation or intention to be involved but just feel. 

Overall, my experience of the first day was amazing and I can only imagine what the rest of the weekend, and year will feel like. As scared and nervous as I felt walking in versus how comfortable and safe as I felt walking out shows the power of a strong community of people and what a loving energy can give for someone. I can admit I had some judgement and assumptions towards the people in my group but that was immediately dissolved when I had the intention to feel their experiences. That one exercise that allowed me to feel a connection and similarity to the other two people in my group also allowed me to equally feel more connected with everyone in the room even though I had no conversation with them, and even those that I have relationships with outside of class and THAT is learning how to truly seeing the loving essence in everyone. 

I cant wait to see whats next!

Remember the last time you were in a meaningful conversation with someone. How well were you engaging in that communication? Were your intentions to fix a problem? Did you give advice? Did you feel what the person was feeling without judgement or assumptions? If you were the talker, were you able to be vulnerable and open? If not, what was stopping you?

Challenge: Next time you are in a meaningful conversation with someone in person and you are the listener, I want you to set the intention to just listen to them and feel what is being expressed behind the word. Connect and see yourself in that person. See them through the lenses of soul centered eyes. If you are the talker, open up and be vulnerable. Feel the fear and do it anyways. Notice how it feels to be listened to or NOT listened to and still connect and see yourself in that other person. Then come back and comment how having soul centered eyes and ears felt?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista

 

A Person Of Intention

A couple of years ago I started reading the “Power of Intention” by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I got maybe a little less than half way through and then never really finished it…yea yea I already admitted how bad I am at that. Well I have been very interested in finishing so I actually decided to start it all over from the beginning again. My brain can be mush sometimes, so although I remember a lot of it, its nice to be refreshed.

In the beginning of the book he actually suggest the reader read the last chapter first to get an idea of how the book can effect you if you apply the ideas. The last chapter is called “A Portrait of a Person Connected to the Field of Intention”. It’s a little long but as I was reading it I was underlining some parts that were important to me and after reading I found this chapter to be very inspiring and like to think of it as a guide for the type of person I strive towards being more like. Which in essence is what I believe to be part of our TRUE selves anyways, it’s just covered up with a bunch of fear. So I guess it’s a guide into teaching ME to how to become more ME. You can not seek that of which you already are right?

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First off though I wanted to share how Dr. Dyer defines the word Intention. It can mean different things to different people so it’d be nice to have a common meaning so you know how to relate it to this portrait. He started by saying through his research Intention was defined as “strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result”. People with strong intentions have “a never-give up attitude combined with an internal picture that propels you towards fulfilling your dreams”. I dunno about you, but for me this sounds pretty damn on point with exactly how I defined “intention” for myself. For a textbook definition it sounds great but how about thinking about intention on a soulful  level.

Carlos Castaneda said:

“Intent is a force that exists in the universe. When sorcerers (those who live of the Source) beckon intent, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment, which means that sorcerers always accomplish what they set out to do”

After reading this quote in a book, Dr Dyer started to think of intent on a whole other plane. What if intention is a force that exists in the universe as an invisible energy field? It’s not something you DO but something that IS. He goes on to explain that intention is something that  exists in everything and has always been there even before we were conceived. It’s what intended us to be born. I know this dude gets deep right?!

But he believes that “Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal everyday habitual patterns…We have the means to attract this energy to us and experience life in an exciting new way“.

So basically how I am understanding, as I have talked about before, we are creatures of habit! Half the things we do, the way we conceptualize, the meaning we put to things, our perceptions…are typically built and based off of habit. But what if we started to Intend things to happen. How could life be different? What could we create? This thought changes us from being a person of which things just happen to, to a person whom CREATES what happens to them. When we can reach BEYOND our normal everyday habits , we become CREATORS!

So here are some key ideas I took from the last chapter in “Power of Intention” By Dr. Wayne Dyer. As you read, simply imagine what it would be like to be this person that is described. How would your life be different?

*Spend a few moments in conversation with people who are connected to the power of intention and you see how unique they are.

*It is impossible to get them to be pessimistic about achieving what they desire.

*They don’t say, With my luck things won’t work out, but instead, I intend to create this and I know it will work out. 

*They don’t relate to concepts of failure or it’s impossible.

*To a connector there are simply no accidents. Seemingly insignificant events are being orchestrated in perfect harmony. They aren’t surprised when the money to finance a project they’ve been intending mysteriously shows up.

*They know better than to place a lot of energy on arguing or being frustrated, because that attracts argumentation and frustration into their lives.

*They know in their heart that somewhere an opportunity exists in the setback, and that is what they look for in everything that shows up in their life.

*Rather then asking for something, because that seems to give power to what’s missing, they commune in a state of reverent gratitude for all that is present in their lives, knowing that this empowers their intention to manifest precisely what they need.

*They have a consciousness of oneness…it is all WE. All of us emanate from the same divine energy. They don’t separate themselves spiritually.

*They don’t brag about their good fortune but are in a perpetual state of gratitude and radical humility.

* They have trained their thoughts to move at the levels of higher vibrations and are able to deflect lower/slower vibrations

*Their peacefulness causes others to feel calm and assured.

*They are not interested in winning arguments or accumulating  allies.

*Rather than trying to persuade you to think like they do, they’re convincing through the energy they exude. 

*Connectors tell you without hesitation that they choose to feel good regardless of what’s going on around them or how others might judge them.

*They know that feeling bad is a choice and it isn’t useful for correcting unpleasant situations.

*If they feel bad in any way, they use that as an indicator that its time to change their energy level.

*They don’t allow their well-being to be contingent on anything external to themselves – not the weather, wars, political landscape, economy, and certainly not anyone else decision to be low energy.

*They think from the end. They can see what they intend to manifest as if it has already materialized. It’s so real in their thoughts that its reality.

*They have a noticeable absence of judgement towards others.

*Their power is the fact that they uplift others with their presence.

*They are never offended because their ego isn’t involved in their opinions.

*They have no need to fit in or to do things the way others expect them to.

*Whatever life sends them, they say Thank you. What can I learn and how can I grow from what I am receiving?

*This always-expanding attitude is what ultimately opens up their life to receiving all that the Source is willing to provide

These are simply small notes I underlined while reading. I suggest if you want to read the entire description, my notes give no justice, then pick up the book and check it out.

Now maybe it’s challenging to be perfectly connected ALL the time, maybe we’re not supposed to be, but doesn’t this sound like a good guideline? What do you think would happen if you just TRIED to replicate these ideas in your inner world? How would your experience of things change? How would current “challenges” fade away? What would you begin to create, KNOWING that it would come? What would you let go of,  KNOWING that whatever comes your way (or leaves your way) is to create the bigger picture for you?

change

 

Think about that and leave your ideas below. 

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in the comments below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo, 

barista