If Trust is Risky, Why Put Yourself On The Line?

Do you find that you have a hard time trusting? Do you wish you could trust more, but you have been so hurt in the past that you don’t know how? If Trust is so risky, why take the chance? Because distrust leads to far worse scenario then trusting ever will. By not trusting, you close the door from anything great happening.

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There is one thing I can think of off the top of my head that people have the hardest time placing their trust in. The Future. What could, should, or would happen to us in the future because of some person, place, or thing. We will literally drive ourselves stir crazy wondering “WHAT IF…” about other people and what they can or might do, think, or say to us if we let our guard down (or even when it’s up) and what will happen to us in the future and if something will prevent us from receiving what we want.

Fear is the foundation for distrust. When we distrust we become overly consumed with more fear. We want to keep our guard tower manned with maximum security, making sure we know exactly what’s going on at all times, controlling the situation AT ALL COST. Even if that cost is our own peace and sanity.

That person is not going to get over on me“, “I can’t let that happen to me“, or “what can i do to make sure that ______ never happens to me?”, we tell ourselves. We begin to question ourselves over an over looking for the solution that will finally give us comfort. Yet what we don’t understand is that looking for a solution through the same fearful energy that brought us to this place is near impossible. Whatever solution we come up with, will never be enough because, it too, is produced through fear. We then find ourselves in a cycle of pretending everything is okay yet constantly questioning if it really is. Distrusting doesn’t sound very fun does it?

Ironically, by distrusting, we are trying to prevent something that could potentially hurt us. Yet  the fear that we engulf ourselves in through distrust is doing nothing BUT hurting us. Causing us to feel unsafe which is what we are trying to prevent all along. Distrusting can cause destruction because we are holding on too tight. It closes the door for any other possibility. Trusting on the other hand allows us to let go, and relax. It opens the door for multiple possibilities and better solutions.

Do we remember what gets us to the place of distrusting in the first place? [it’s okay, you can scroll back up if you need to check]. Yes! It’s FEAR. Have you ever really thought about what TRUST entails though? Trusting is like gambling in a way. Even when we think we have 100% chance of winning, do we ever really? Do we ever really know EXACTLY what’s going to happen? Can we control EVERY outside factor to make sure it plays in our favor only? The answer to all three of those question is…. you guessed it, NO! Outside factors in the one thing we DO NOT have control over. We do not have control over other people, places, or things, therefor as much as we would like to predict what the future will bring, we never know that something is going to happen until it happens.

Even if we can predict that something has a 99.9% chance of happening, we still have to save room for that slim chance that it won’t happen the way we think, if at all. It’s that 0.1% chance that will still be attached to fear. But that’s what trusting is. It’s knowing that something MAY not work out in the way we would like it to, but betting on it anyways. Trust takes courage, especially if in the past we may have lost a time or two.

“Whether we are aware of it or not, every act of trust carries with it a shiver of fear. A favorable situation can become dangerous. Deep down we know that life is insecure and precarious. However, if we do trust, the shiver carries with it a philosophical optimism: Life, with all its traps and horrors,  is good… The bet is implicit in trust itself. If we could be sure of everyone and everything, trust would have no value – like money, if it were suddenly limitless, or sunshine, if there were always fine weather, or life, if we were to live forever”
– Piero Ferrucci (The Power Of Kindness)

When you are someone that has a difficult time placing trust in the future, then the second you feel that shiver of fear, you’re alarm goes off telling you that something is wrong. The distrusting begins producing nothing but MORE fear. Remember though, Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Unless it’s a life threatening situation (which is not the situations we are talking about here), it does nothing but hold our energy and our action hostage.

So what’s the alternative then? How can you choose to trust instead? When we surrender to the idea that we can’t control everything. Through this surrendering, we come to the conclusion that we are MORE than capable of handling all that life brings our way. When we allow ourselves to acknowledge that trust will ALWAYS carry a little bit of fear, we can become more aware of when we are actively choosing to be in a place of trusting. This can allow us to reroute our alarm system. This time when you witness that shiver of fear arise, instead of the fear multiplying, it is now giving you knowledge that you ARE in a place of trusting and accepting that this ounce of fear just comes with the job. You will be aware that you are trusting because you CHOOSE to trust, and if the worst case scenario happens to take place, we can continue to trust that it’s for our highest good and continue moving forward.

We have the choice to trust or distrust. While we are in a place of distrust, it’s like we are constantly waiting for the bomb to drop. A bomb that may NEVER drop. We spend our time and energy trying to prevent the bomb from dropping. The thing is, if the bomb is meant to drop, it will drop, and you have no more control over it then you do of gravity. So instead of worrying so much about what COULD happen in the future, why not just enjoy your present. And if the bomb ends up dropping, you deal with it then and at least you enjoyed the ride to that point…then you get on another ride. If it never drops, then you continue enjoying that ride wherever it takes you. What’s the point of the ride if you can’t enjoy it? What’s the point of life, if you don’t live?

“In trusting, we let ourselves go. We know that all kinds of unexpected events may come our way. Our tension eases, our mind and our hearts open spontaneously to be possibilities. It is an ever new state of mind, in the present moment, because we have detached from all we know. But it is also a feeling as old as can be, because, before all betrayals and all disappointments, there was a time in which trusting another was the very substance of our life.” – Piero Ferrucci.

Do you have the courage to place the bet?

xoxo,

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Positively Positive: The real SECRET to achieving more success than you can ever imagine!

Re-Post from Positively Positive.

Written by Kute Blackson

There are so many books today on success that will teach you…

How to make millions without any effort.

How to get everything and anything that you want whenever you want it.

How to manifest your soulmate to your exact specifications in less than seven days. Guaranteed!

There are so many promises of success formulas and secret affirmations to control your reality exactly how you want it.

They are all great, but if you practice the key I am about to share with you, you will manifest beyond your wildest dreams.

We tend to think that we know what we want, but, often, we are determining what we want based on who we think we are.

It is indeed helpful to be as clear as possible about what you want in life.

However, sometimes, it can be easy to get so attached to what you think your goals should look like or how you think life should be that you block the flow.

The mind can only take you so far, sometimes limiting what’s possible because it can’t see the whole picture. It functions in a purely linear and logical manner.

So what is the secret key to success?

Surrender.

Yes, surrender.

Surrender is not about giving up. Rather, it’s about opening beyond your mind’s perception to the highest good that is possible in any situation.

Surrender is a giving up of your limited idea of what you think should be and being open to the infinite fulfillment and creativity of the Universe manifesting.

Surrender doesn’t mean not being in action. It’s about bringing your actions into alignment with the highest flow and working in harmony with life.

Your intention and prayer becomes: “Universe, I ask for only the highest possible outcome for my Soul and all concerned. Only the highest outcome!”

Trust that your soul has an intelligence that is way beyond your mind.

When you surrender, you tap into a higher level of wisdom. When you surrender, you tap into infinite intelligence. When you surrender, you access the zone of miracles.

You may not always get what you thought you wanted. But, in surrendering, you receive what your soul is most needing at this moment.

As you evolve, you often realize, in retrospect, that what you thought you wanted was not necessarily the case.

Trust bigger than your mind.

Real success isn’t simply about what you achieve but who you become and how you evolve as a soul.

What you achieve will come and go. Who you become will remain forever.

When you surrender, you go beyond your mind and bring yourself in sync with the entire universe that is already working on your behalf, rather than just your limited small self.

You will find that incredible things will happen in ways that are beyond what you originally planned.

Surrender and set yourself free.

Surrender and you will see the miracles manifesting all around.

Surrender and you will achieve success beyond anything you can imagine.

I would love to hear your comments below. Tell me about a time in your life when things turned out in a way that surpassed your best expectations.

Love.Now

Kute


If you are ready to achieve the next level of your success, then join me on a life changing journey—Boundless Bali Bliss.


Kute Blackson is a life coach and speaker. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. For more on Kute, please visit his website and follow him on Twitter.

May Cause Miracles: Week 2 Part 1

So week 2 of “May Cause Miracles” is coming to an end and I feel like i have had some pretty outstanding miracles occur. Its pretty exciting to witness. This week was all about building a new SELF perception and I can say that it’s a week I really needed. I know that I can be pretty dang hard on myself. I also tend to stress out when thinking about the future.

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I am entering day 14 and this day is pretty much reflecting how the week went and what I have discovered. I think a lot happened this week that I do want to touch on but maybe too much for one post, so like week 1 I want to split it into two parts again. In this particular part I want to touch on day 8 and 9 but focus mostly on day 10 because I feel like I had a deep evening exercise that night.

I love the part in the book where Gabrielle explains: “When we release our ego’s false perception of who we are or who we need to be, we can surrender to the truth, which is that we are love.”

It’s true. Our ego usually tend to run the show ALL day EVERY day. Constantly comparing and competing. Judging, bringing down, attacking ourself and/or others. When we can just learn to let all that stuff go, we can become clear with our true selves.

Day 8 started off like Day 1 where I had to witness my self-inflicted fear. I noticed I tend to criticize myself a lot especially when it comes to my looks. I feel like I have played small by making excuses and not feeling like I am good enough to do the things I want to do or have the things I want to have. Even when good things come to me, I like to think by way of Karma, I can still have a hard time accepting it because of this mindset. Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough because of how I grew up. I did not grow up with a lot of money like most of my friends and peers and had to be very money conscious. That very much still effects how I live my life today. I can be afraid to let go some times and feel like I actually deserve to spend money on myself or have others spend money on me.

“I am responsible for what I see” helps really put into perspective the power I truly have over my thoughts and the actions caused by these thoughts. I AM RESPONSIBLE!!

On Day 9 “I am willing to let go of my self-doubt. I surrender to self-love” was  the affirmation. The evening exercise was very nice because it involved doing something nice for yourself as well as getting into a praying position as to surrender to your Inner Guide.

mirror-love-handThen there’s Day 10 which was very powerful night for me. It was about actively choosing to love myself. “I AM LOVE” was the affirmation of the day and I know I said this one a lot. I tried to continuously imagine, what does love look like, sound like, feel like, acted out in the energy of myself, and BE that. For the evening I had to look at myself in a mirror and say “I love you” a few times and stare directly at myself in the mirror.

The first thing I actually started doing upon looking in the mirror was picking at everything wrong. The exact opposite of the point. I then remembered the point and began with the words. It seemed like something so simple but when I was staring at myself, almost simultaneously picking myself apart and loving myself at the same time, it was like I could see my whole life through my eyes. I saw all the pain bundled up from when I was younger until now. Everything that built me up into who I was in that moment. All the parts of me that yearned to hear those words. The little girl in me.

I Love You to the 5 year old little girl that was always called “white girl” by family members. Who thought she wasn’t good enough because her skin was too light.

I Love You to the 7 year old little girl that was called the “N” word for the first time she could remember after moving to a better neighborhood. Who thought she wasn’t good enough because her skin was too dark.

I Love You to the the 8 year old little girl that woke up one night at a sleepover to her “friends” talking about her. Who didn’t understand why they all seemed to pretend to like her.

I Love You to the 9 year old little girl that didn’t want to join girl scouts because she heard they had a daddy daughter dance.  Who didn’t want to be embarrassed that her daddy didn’t live with her or wouldn’t be around.

I Love You to the 12 year old little girl who wanted to play on the traveling soccer team but her mom couldn’t afford  it. Who couldn’t understand why and thought it wasn’t fair because she actually made the team.

I Love You to the 15 year old little girl who got dumped by her first boyfriend, her first love, her first everything, and couldn’t understand why. Who hurt so deeply because he continued to have sex with her but didn’t want to date her.

I Love You to the 17 year old little girl who kept having sex with guys that didn’t want to date her. Who didn’t know why she just wasn’t good enough.

I Love You to the 19 year old little girl who sometimes just wanted to have a mom she could talk to about all her pain. Who didn’t understand why their relationship was so rough.

I Love You to the 21 year old little girl who never really dated anyone. Who saw all her friends have boyfriend after boyfriend but had no clue why she only ever had two.

I Love You to the 24 year old little girl who had to figure out and go through her whole pregnancy alone. Who didn’t understand how that guy she loved so much could just treat her like a stranger.

I Love You to the 27 year old little girl who was so confused and scared about her future that she did almost anything to sabotage it’s coming. Who felt like she would never have the love she wanted.

I Love You to the 29 year old little girl who feels like her body isn’t skinny enough, her hair isn’t long enough, her skin isn’t clear enough, her motivation isn’t strong enough. Who doesn’t understand why she feels the way she does.

Even though she is surrounded it by it every single day, I LOVE YOU TO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO FEELS UNLOVED!

I realized in that moment staring in that mirror, which ended up being like 10 minutes, going over all those memories, trying to love that little girl that needed to hear those words in those moments, that not enough praise and love matter if I  don’t feel that love from myself. “I LOVE YOU”. 3 single words could change so much!

The whole next day which was actually the last post I wrote, I felt a passion in my chest. I looked up the heart chakra and found it represents our ability to love. One article I read said that “learning to love yourself is the first step to securing a healthy 4th chakra. The “wounded” child resides in the heart chakra”.

This part amazed me because of what I had just gone through the night before. It made me believe that much more in the power of our minds and the energy within. My heart chakra was LIT UP that day.

Newho, this was a huge step for me. Some things I hadn’t been conscious of in years. It was nice to give myself the love I had needed for so long.

Tomorrow I will go over the rest of the lovely week.

xoxo,

barista