Are You Suffocating Your Flame?

One day a couple of months ago I started thinking about the possibility of going back to school. I have been interested in going back for a couple of years now but had wandered from niche to niche trying to discover what I was most passionate about. I received my Bachelor’s in Psychology back in 2006 and have not really done anything with it since.

After graduating I decided I wanted to take a year from school and just live and enjoy myself without any added pressure for once in my life. I swore I was not going to be one of those people who said they were going to take a year and never come back… I felt really determined that going back to school was my goal and I was going to return. Well a year has turned into 7 years.

After years and years of entering job after job, starting but never finishing venture after venture, I have come to discover that I have been subconsciously scared of my success. Sounds kinda silly huh? But it’s actually quite common for many people.  Especially the closer you get to achieving your goals. Most people can relate to feeling scared of failure but I believe the two definitely go hand in hand. As much as some of us are afraid of not being good enough, we can also be afraid to shine our light bright. But why?

We feel we don’t deserve it. We are scared of change. We feel guilty because others around us aren’t achieving. We feel like once we reach success, we don’t be able to sustain it. We want to avoid being seen as show-offs or conceited. There is fear that others will envy or hate us, which in turn will leave us lonely and unloved. . The thing is, we witness things like envy and hate on others everyday, sometimes we’re even the ones judging. 

I know that change creates more change and I worry that if I change, the relationships around me can’t help but change as well. The fear comes from not knowing how and this fear creates a sort of suffering. The thing is I feel like once we have experienced growth and witnessed miracles, we create more suffering by NOT changing. The light is lit inside but we spend so much energy covering it or hiding it, afraid that it’ll be put out, that we are doing nothing but suffocating it, stealing the oxygen it needs to grow, in return slowly putting it out ourselves.  

As with everything, there is always a pay-off we are receiving that keeps us continuing the path we do, even if they act is a bad one. What is my pay-off for remaining powerless? “At least I can control the situation more” “I can’t lose if I don’t try” “No worry about obtaining success and not knowing what to do with it” “I can save my money instead of risk losing it” “My relationships with people can stay the same” and one of the biggest pay-offs being, “I am comfortable and don’t have to feel vulnerable”.

Once you identify your fears, you can start to work through them and surrender to the outcome.  I looked into the University of Santa Monica back in June of this year. I attended an introduction into their program of Spiritual Psychology. I had never been so amazed in my life that a program like theirs exists. It was RIGHT up my alley. Everything I believe in, work towards, want to achieve,..all taught and mastered through their Masters Program. And what?? I can get a Masters too?!?!? Sounded so good to be true. I immediately knew that it was something I had to go through with. I have never felt so alive and motivated upon leaving that meeting. I just KNEW that school was for me. I even was mad I had not found or heard of it sooner. (BUT I also know if I had, I wouldn’t have been in the place I am in now to appreciate it).

I came home and couldn’t stop smiling, knowing that I had discovered my next step.  Hmmmm, now to take it. THAT was the challenge. I started my registration form and then all the fears come creeping into my head. “How am I going to pay for this?” “What if I can’t get three letters of recommendation?” “Will I be able to do this, work, get married, have more kids, and maintain the home at the same time?” “What if I don’t get in?” “What if I commit and then can’t continue” “Is this really reasonable?” I’ll admit some of those fears were powered by fear of failure, but because of how powerful I felt in my heart about this program, I realized more of it was coming out of my fear of actually coming to a successful place along my path.

I have had a lot of ideas over the years, started a lot of ventures of my own, but never fully following through with any of them. Over the last 3 months I saw this going down the same road.  Having been immersed in the things I love and continuing to grow over the years, witness the miracles that happen to others that are conquering their fears, even being a huge part of that very process in others lives. I have become nothing but more and more passionate about what I want to be doing with my life. I KNOW that I don’t want to settle. And I have come to truly believe that once you know this TRUTH, there is no looking back. There is no giving up. There is no backing down. As much as you try to cover that light, your passion becomes its gasoline and if you don’t move your hands, it will burn you eventually, forcing you to get out of your own way, until it can do nothing less than SHINE the way it’s meant to.

Classes start in the beginning of October. “Maybe next year will work out better” “Next year will only come with different excuses”. The fears that were stopping me from moving forwards were slowly becoming trumped by my fears of how I will feel if I don’t move forward. I came to an epiphany that the ONLY thing in my way was myself. It wasn’t money, it wasn’t support, it wasn’t time. It was just me and my limiting thoughts. And I CONTROL that. FEAR isn’t real. Grasping that thought is one of the most powerful realizations one can have. I have seen over and over miracles happen through the faith of letting go and surrendering. Why would it be different with me in this instance? How will I know if I don’t try? I believe things will work out exactly how they are supposed to. If anything, I needed this space to realize how powerful I truly am. I’ll take it!

This week I am finishing up with the application process. I got my transcripts sent, 2 of 3 letters of recommendations sent so far, finishing up my essay, and paying for my deposit. I felt the fear and I’m doing it anyway. The pure intentions are there, the flame of passion is burning, now all I have to do is SHOW UP!  This is it!!!! This is the moment, yet again, where changes will take place and life will open up. IM READY!!!

I leave you with a favorite quote:

 MarianneWilliamsom-Quote

Are you suffocating your light? What can you do to let it shine today?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista

Positively Positive: The real SECRET to achieving more success than you can ever imagine!

Re-Post from Positively Positive.

Written by Kute Blackson

There are so many books today on success that will teach you…

How to make millions without any effort.

How to get everything and anything that you want whenever you want it.

How to manifest your soulmate to your exact specifications in less than seven days. Guaranteed!

There are so many promises of success formulas and secret affirmations to control your reality exactly how you want it.

They are all great, but if you practice the key I am about to share with you, you will manifest beyond your wildest dreams.

We tend to think that we know what we want, but, often, we are determining what we want based on who we think we are.

It is indeed helpful to be as clear as possible about what you want in life.

However, sometimes, it can be easy to get so attached to what you think your goals should look like or how you think life should be that you block the flow.

The mind can only take you so far, sometimes limiting what’s possible because it can’t see the whole picture. It functions in a purely linear and logical manner.

So what is the secret key to success?

Surrender.

Yes, surrender.

Surrender is not about giving up. Rather, it’s about opening beyond your mind’s perception to the highest good that is possible in any situation.

Surrender is a giving up of your limited idea of what you think should be and being open to the infinite fulfillment and creativity of the Universe manifesting.

Surrender doesn’t mean not being in action. It’s about bringing your actions into alignment with the highest flow and working in harmony with life.

Your intention and prayer becomes: “Universe, I ask for only the highest possible outcome for my Soul and all concerned. Only the highest outcome!”

Trust that your soul has an intelligence that is way beyond your mind.

When you surrender, you tap into a higher level of wisdom. When you surrender, you tap into infinite intelligence. When you surrender, you access the zone of miracles.

You may not always get what you thought you wanted. But, in surrendering, you receive what your soul is most needing at this moment.

As you evolve, you often realize, in retrospect, that what you thought you wanted was not necessarily the case.

Trust bigger than your mind.

Real success isn’t simply about what you achieve but who you become and how you evolve as a soul.

What you achieve will come and go. Who you become will remain forever.

When you surrender, you go beyond your mind and bring yourself in sync with the entire universe that is already working on your behalf, rather than just your limited small self.

You will find that incredible things will happen in ways that are beyond what you originally planned.

Surrender and set yourself free.

Surrender and you will see the miracles manifesting all around.

Surrender and you will achieve success beyond anything you can imagine.

I would love to hear your comments below. Tell me about a time in your life when things turned out in a way that surpassed your best expectations.

Love.Now

Kute


If you are ready to achieve the next level of your success, then join me on a life changing journey—Boundless Bali Bliss.


Kute Blackson is a life coach and speaker. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. For more on Kute, please visit his website and follow him on Twitter.

True Power Lies In Your Perception

7366018_mA few days ago I was talking to my friend Emily about this new relationship she’s in. She seemed quite nervous. She proceeds to say “I wish I knew what was going to happen in the future with us!, I don’t want to waste any more time”

…there, there Emily, you’re not the only one. Don’t we all wish we knew the future sometimes?

I decided to play a little game with her. I asked her to tell me what her ideal future looks like. It was something she wasn’t even too clear about, so it was fun to get her to actually picture it and put it together.

After she told me what she wanted, I said “Done!…That’s exactly what’s going to happen. You’re going get married. Have kids. The career you want. Excited about life. In love and happy!… That’s what I see in your future”

She laughed it off.

I said “What you don’t believe me?” She said “Uh no, you don’t know the future.”

“Well what if I did?…Ok well let’s just sayyyy there was such a person that could tell you exactly how you’re future was going to look…. let’s just say they told you exactly what I just told you… that everything you want is EXACTLY what’s going to happen…would you believe them?”

“Um maybe”, Emily said a little more easy. “Ok well if you KNEW that was your future, if you knew within a year you’d be engaged… what would you do from now until then?” I asked.

“I’d relax”, she laughed.

Here’s the thing, whether it’s ME telling you what your future is going to look like, or some psychic that could predict your future, in reality it doesn’t matter. Even if this psychic has never been wrong, you’d still have to have some faith in what they’ve told you. You see, because you STILL wouldn’t really know for sure what’s going to happen UNTIL it happens. The only difference between me telling you your future, and a psychic telling you is that you would CHOOSE to believe the psychic.

That right there is the power of perception. You have the power to perceive anything however you CHOOSE to perceive it. If Emily wanted to believe me and what I said her future looks like she very well could. And just like she could place that power in my hands, she could also take that power herself. SHE could become her own psychic.

Just like in my post the other day, your beliefs become your thoughts which become your words which become your actions…and so on. Sometimes it could feel like you have no control over your perception but it’s actually the ONLY thing you have control over. If you believe in the possibility of your dreams, you will then start to act accordingly to what you believe.

you-are-powerful

Emily had contemplated on breaking up with her boyfriend for no other reason then she was SO anxious about not knowing how things were going to end up and she didn’t want to waste time. In the back of  her head, she believes that maybe she’s going to end up alone. Very common for some people at our almost 30 age. I told her, that anxiousness, that fear…it was an opportunity. An opportunity to decide if she was going to move towards her dreams or towards her fears. She’s in a relationship with a guy she’s in love with and she’s very happy with him. This was the chance to not only see this is what she WANTS but also to ACCEPT that things are going the right way.

I asked her “Now that you know you’re going to marry him, do you still want break up with him?” “Well NO!” That answer is obvious because when you’ve been told what you’re future is going to be, you’re going to let it happen. You aren’t going to do anything or let anything come in way of it happening. If you believe he’s “the one” you are going to act like he’s “the one”. And if you’re acting like he’s “the one” then you won’t be surprised when he becomes “the one”. The Law of Attraction brings to you what you believe to be true.

Why are successful people successful? Because they believe they can achieve their goals or because they are afraid of failing? Because they BELIEVE they can achieve their goals. That belief is causing them to make the necessary moves they need to make to be exactly where they want to be. If they believed they were going to fail, they would fail. Period! If you truly believe you’re going to be alone in your future, big chance is you… will be!

When you can shift your beliefs and give yourself power, you will come to understand that the world is ALWAYS placing clues in your path. Clues that allow you to follow the direction of your TRUE desires. When you are OPEN you will start to notice what is being presented, you will understand it’s an opportunity to learn and grow, and you take it in order to accept your dreams coming true. If you are closed off, you will simply continue to miss your chances. You will become anxious and fearful of what’s going to happen next because the vision isn’t there. Or it could be there, but it’s the vision of your FEARS not your dreams. Anxiety and fear are nothing but indicators that your vibrations aren’t matching what the core of you desires. Take them as CLUES.

Things are always happening FOR YOU. It is up to you to recognize the opportunities and it is up to you to define what they mean to you. You do have to remember that you are a CO-creator. It’s you and your higher power. God, the Universe, your Source, all of the above, whatever you call it.

If things don’t happen EXACTLY how you envision, doesn’t mean your dreams won’t still come true. When you remember you are a co-creator, you’ll know your dreams will still come true, just maybe not in the way you always imagine. But guess what, they’ll happen even BETTER then you imagine. Because the Universe is way more expansive and creative than your mind, so it will bring you success in ways you could never think. It’ll also be a way that is also allowing you to learn the lessons you are on this Earth to learn. But you must have faith. The power lies in YOU. You don’t need a psychic to tell you what your dreams are and that they are going to happen because at the end of the day YOU are the one that has to believe it.

What are your dreams? How have you been acting accordingly? In what ways can you see your fears hindering you? Do you notice opportunities when they are in front of you?

What do you dare to dream today? How can you be more open to that dream?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in the comments below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else. 🙂

xoxo,

barista

 

Purpose Fairy: 11 Practices for a Better Life

“Life is full of challenges. Being happy shouldnt be one of them”

Article via Purpose Fairy:

Most of us want to improve our lives—laugh more, stress less, follow our bliss—but the *how* of transformation can feel overwhelming. Here are 11 practices you can start doing *now* to live a deeper, happier, and more meaningful life.

1. Let your imagination run wild

Close your eyes and imagine your dream life. What does it look like? Where are you? What does it feel like?

You can’t live your dream if you haven’t given yourself the space to create it. You have this one life and you get to choose how to live it. Dream big.

2. Practice gratitude

We’re so busy talking about what we want, we forget to feel grateful for what we already have. What are you thankful for?

3. Pay attention

There’s a chance you’re driving through life on cruise control. Start paying more attention to your daily routine. Listen to the birds chirping, enjoy the smell of your freshly brewed coffee, and feel the cozy, softness of your pajamas. Relish the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings of your daily life.

4. Be real

We all wear masks—pretending and posturing our way through dinner parties and interviews and cocktail hours. But releasing all that phoniness and asserting your authentic self will feel like a breath of fresh air. And watch out, it’s infectious: when you’re real, you’ll notice those around you get real, too.

5. Surround yourself with positive people

You may have heard that you’re a product of the people with which you spend the most time. So pick the right crowd. Stick with the upbeat, optimistic people in your life; their company will nourish you. Avoid those that drain your energy, leaving you exhausted and unhappy.

6. Embrace change

Change is the only constant, so it’s time to start welcoming it. Stop dreading it, avoiding it, denying it, or fearing

it. Start seeing change for the possibility, fun, inspiration, and growth it can bring.

7. Trust your gut

Your intuition knows what’s best for you and it will encourage you to live your right life. Your job is to honor that inner voice—you’ll be happier for it.

8. Enjoy joy

What do you love to do? What makes you laugh? What makes your heart swell with happiness? Give yourself permission to do that, often.

9. Be gentle

No one’s perfect, we all make mistakes. Go easy on yourself.

10. Get enough sleep

In a culture that seems to celebrate those that pull all nighters and work until they drop, it’s sometimes hard to value rest. Sleep isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

11. Find your own success

Contrary to popular belief, success isn’t a corner office or a fat paycheck. Real success won’t just look good, it’ll feel good too. Chase your own success.

This article was written by Alexis Sclamberg, a self-help expert for Millennials. She’s the author of the upcoming book, Borrowed Wisdom, and contributes to publications including Forbes.com, The Huffington Post, and Cosmopolitan magazine. For more inspiration, follow her on Twitter, friend her on Facebook or check out her website.