Wise New Year Words From Dr. Wayne Dyer

Via Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Facebook Page:

Today is the dawn of the New Year. So you’re probably working on a list of things that you’d like to get done in 2015. Well, I’d like to ask you to forget about making these resolutions. Forget about deciding on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life in September, some nine months later. Any resolution that involves making decisions about future behaviors is a waste of time. It also reinforces the self-defeating notion of living in the future.

For 2015, wouldn’t you rather live in the present moment?

This day that you’re living right now is the only day you get. Period. You can resolve to be skinny when next July rolls around, or to quit smoking next month, or to write that book you’ve been meaning to, or to embark on your overdue exercise program by the end of this year. You can go about resolving until the cows come home, and you still have to live your life just like everyone else on the planet: One day at a time.

You can only live minute to minute. You can certainly use up your present moments thinking about what you’ll be doing in the future, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can only live in the now. The important question to be asking yourself is:

How am I going to live in the present moment this year?

Will I waste these moments reviewing the way I used to behave? Will I waste these moments reviewing how I would like to behave in the future rather than resolving to live each day to the fullest?

The New Year is a good time to initiate a plan so you can make some changes and help live your life to the fullest. See if you can practice thinking differently. Decide very specifically what it is that you would like to change about yourself in 2015. If you have some goals in mind, vow to work on them day by day rather than making them a year-long project.

When you set up day-to-day goals for yourself, you can begin living this way for the rest of your life. Remember this little piece of advice, which will be extremely helpful to you if you can incorporate it into your life: When you go for one entire day without eating sugar (or not smoking, or being assertive, or any other new behavior), you are a totally different person at the end of that day. What you must learn to do is let that totally different person decide on the second day whether to do it again on this new day, rather than letting the same old person decide today that it is going to be difficult in a couple of days anyhow, so what’s the use. Always let the New You make the decision, and then you’ll be living your present moments.

Remember, you are in control of all thoughts in your head. When you are using up your present moments to worry about the future, constantly reviewing the past to come up with how you should have done it differently, or contemplating disaster, remind yourself that you are wasting this particular present moment.

Practice cancelling out negative thoughts for a few minutes at a time. Vow to enjoy the next five minutes regardless of what has previously transpired or what you think is about to happen. Remind yourself of the folly of wasting your present moments on mental activity that focuses exclusively on your past or imagined future. All of your thoughts about what you should have done, or how terrible things were in the past will not change one tiny slice of the past.

live in the moment

As you celebrate this New Year and each precious present moment, here are 10 reminders to help you live in the Now:

1. Remember that habits are changed by practicing new behavior. By practicing new thinking every five minutes, you’ll soon begin to master the art of present-moment living.
2. Do an honest assessment of your “problems.” You’ll very likely discover that almost all of your problems are really in your head and not located in reality.
3. Take time to be mindful of everything around you. Begin to look at your entire surroundings in a new light. Observe every detail on every face, every building and every object. If you do this often enough it will become a habit that will facilitate your being alive in every moment of the year.
4. Change your attitude. Begin an attitude-redevelopment plan. That means practice enjoying everything you do.
5. Be specific about what you want and take action. Decide on one thing that you would like to work on and do it today. Work at it daily, rather than making it a long-range objective.
6. Create a self-improvement agenda for yourself. Put on your agenda whatever activities you’ve always thought about but never had time to do. Do them now.
7. Rid yourself of mundane chores that are not really that important. Spend more time making your life a pleasure.
8. Eliminate procrastination as a lifestyle. Instead of talking to yourself about what you are going to do next week or even tomorrow, use this time to start a new task.
9. Don’t give up control of your life to others. You cannot enjoy the present moment if you are busy trying to make everyone else like you. People respect you more when you operate from a position of strength and self-reliance.
10. Feel good about yourself. You are a magnificent human being. Always feel good about that self that you are always with.

For 2015, as I have for many other years, I vow to be fully alive and see the world the way Walt Whitman described it to be many years ago: “To me…every cubic inch of space is a miracle.” I really believe that.

I wish you a New Year filled with many miracles. May you live a long and productive life—one present moment at a time.

Love,
I AM,
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The Conscious Parent: Is Your Child Growing You Up?

So not sure if you know this about me yet, but I love reading and when I read good books, which is usually every book I read it feels like, I love to share the information in them. When I read, I usually highlight along the way all the good points, which in most cases ends up being every other line. It’s hard to get through pages without wanting to post quotes on Facebook. Sometimes to finish reading effectively, I have to put the highlighter down and just read so I can get through it. Well now is not one of those times. I had to stop and get online and post a part that I like out of the book I am currently reading called The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.

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I watched this awesome woman on Oprah’s Lifeclass and her theories around Conscious Parenting. It coincides exactly with what I learn in school. That when we are disturbed, instead of blaming or trying to control outside people or situations, we must look within to see what is being triggered inside of us and work on healing that instead. As parents, our children are here to mirror to us deep healing opportunities…if we are aware of that. Most of the time, instead, we try to control our children into being what we want them to be and act how we want them to act. We use manipulation and control tactics and this way of parenting can cause us to hinder their true spirit and purpose in this world. So this book takes us on a journey letting us look at our own ego and seeing where we can heal and let go in order to foster the true essence of our children’s spirit.

“Especially in the early years, parents function as mirrors for their children. Consequently, if you are unable to access your joy, you will be unable to be a mirror of your children’s joy. Thus they are barred from access  to an essential aspect of their being. How sad for a child not to be able to enjoy their spontaneously joyous essence!

 

Our consciousness and unconsciousness are transmitted not only by our overt pain, but also in the energy we exude just by our presence, even when we say and do nothing. Thus our children pick up a great deal from how we embrace them each morning, how we react when they break our favorite vase, how we handle ourselves in traffic accidents, how we sit and talk to them, whether we really look at what they show us, and whether we take an interest in what they say. They notice when we intrude on their life with unwarranted questions and demands, and they feel it when we withdraw from them or utter reprimands. They are moved by how we praise their successes, but wounded when we put them down for their failures. They are aware of how it feels to be in our presence when we sit in silence with them, and the energy field of acceptance or rejection they experience around us. Each of these moment-by-moment exchanges transmits either consciousness or unconsciousness.

 

How can you give to your children unless you first allow yourself to be filled from your own well? Unless you are fulfilled, you will use your children to complete you. You will teach them how to live with your unacknowledged fears, your rejected emptiness, your forgotten lies – all while unaware you are doing so. Such is the power of unacknowledged lostness.”

– Dr. Shefali Tsabary (The Conscious Parent p57-58)

The reason this quote stuck out to me is because it’s a huge reminder for why I am even reading the book. Our children can feel everything and they are perceiving our actions and internalizing them constantly. What is it that you want your child to internalize? Your own unresolved issues or the power of their own essence? It’s time to wake up and become more conscious of our lives. It’s time to  wake up to the power of our own essence to mirror to our children the strength that resides in them. I see this information not only good for our relationship with our children but also our relationships in general. How often do we try to control others or situations around us instead of going inward to heal that which is being triggered? What would it look like to learn how to not only accept others for who they are, but learn how to let their true essence shine? How can we mirror the goodness in everyone else? It starts but looking in the mirror at ourselves FIRST.

A month or so ago, I posted about being addicted to Facebook and the need to be more present. I’ll still save my journey for another post (at some point) but to sum it up quickly, although I feel like I’ve been getting BETTER, I am not in the ideal place I would like to be. I will give myself credit though for my efforts and my willingness to acknowledge where I am at and where I want to be. This journey is about being more present not only for myself but for my kids and my relationships. I want to be a more conscious parent and person and I have faith I will get there. I am becoming more aware, and even if it takes time, it’s the awareness that will lead me to where I want to be. This book is an awesome support in that goal.

I highly recommend The Conscious Parent to ALL parents and to ALL people wanting kids. It can actually be extremely helpful to those without kids because how awesome is it to get the opportunity to learn and gain perspective before your child is born instead of when they are already 5 or 16 years old. It’s never too early OR too late.

What is something you want to do (or stop doing) to be more Present in your life?

 

xoxo,

barista

 

10 Random Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment

348641I have this little book that sits on my coffee table in the front room. It’s called “HOW NOW: 100 Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment” by: Raphael Cushnir. Aside from the title reminding me of the movie Anchor Man,(Howwww Nowww Browwwn Cowww), with everyday hustle and bustle, planning for the future, reminiscing the past, we can forget the most important moment…NOW!

Without enjoying NOW, does anything else really matter? We get so stuck in routine, our minds constantly going from here to there, that even learning HOW to enjoy NOW can be a great task. In this book are simple things to do that will give you a sense of presence in the present moment.

I won’t share all 100 ways, but I opened the book randomly to ten different tasks. Here’s HOW:

10 Random Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment

1. NIGHT SKY There’s an aspect of being that comes out only at night, when we’re able to place our usually overwhelming human dramas in the context of the infinite universe.

The Practice:

Choose a clear, starry night and an hour when most of the world is fast asleep. Make sure you’re warm and comfortable as you lie on your back and watch the dark sky shimmer and twinkle. Use this practice to contemplate the enormity of existence and the eons of time that have passed and are yet to come. From the vantage point of this truly universal perspective, what does the present moment feel like? How does this moment inform or enlighten the ones in your everyday schedule?

2. SHARE A HARD TRUTH Telling the truth when we feel vulnerable is one of the hardest things to do. We might fear rejection, abandonment, disapproval, disappointment, rage, hurt, or just the raw exposure that’s an unavoidable part of the process. Yet almost every time we are willing to tell a hard truth, we grow and deepen in the presence, no matter the response. The energy we previously locked up to maintain a false front is now freed to uplift and enlighten us.

The Practice:

Think about various people in your life – family, friends, coworkers, and community members. In what relationship have you been bottling up a hard truth? This truth may be about something you’re feeling or not feeling, or about a part of the relationship that isn’t working for you. Look at the list of fears in the first paragraph. Are you holding back due to one or more of those fears? Are you willing to experience that fear and still tell your hard truth? If so, pick a time and place where both you and the other person have the best chance of hearing each other without blame or recrimination. Once it’s all over and the dust has settled, notice whether you feel lighter.

3. BE PASSIONATELY AVERAGE – Striving for excellence is how we change, grow, and reach our full potential. But since we can’t excel at everything, it’s also how we become self-critical and perfectionistic. Urging ourselves toward unreachable perfection robs us of the ease and spontaneity that are the hallmarks of the NOW. But exulting in activities we enjoy, with no intention of great achievement, is a foolproof perfectionist cure.

The Practice:

Are there pursuits you enjoy but can’t do well? Or ones that you think you’d enjoy but avoid due to lack of aptitude? Pick one or two and pursue them with complete gusto. Perhaps that means salsa dancing with two left feet, bowling a record setting series of gutter balls, knitting sweaters with lopsided patterns. Whatever the pursuit, perform with the intention of celebrating your mediocrity rather than cringing at it. If and when a cringe does occur, laugh yourself through it and keep going. If possible judgement by others makes the practice too daunting, do it with a friend who is willing to be just as goofy.

4. PLANT SOMETHING – In every moment there is a birth, growth, decline, and death. This cycle plays out on levels from the molecular to the universal. Within a human life, it transpires physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Shepherding this cycle  for another life form helps us attune ourselves to its constant presence.

The Practice:

Purchase a packet of seeds for a plant you’d like  to grow. Choose a plant that’s either annual or perennial so you can experience all aspects of it’s life cycles within the passage of a few seasons. Follow the directions for planting and tending it. View the plant for at least a minute once or twice a week. If the plant survives, watch it for times of steady progression, plateaus, and sudden spurts of growth. If the plant doesn’t make it, try to determine what’s responsible for its demise. Then plant another seed and so your best to help it thrive.

5. BEGIN – In the trance of habit and daily routine, it’s easy to miss the miracle of existence that is continually unfolding. One way to reconnect to that miracle is to consciously bring new projects and activities into your life. Whether tiny or grand, every venture you begin provides a fresh invitation to savor the NOW.

The Practice:

Make a list of some endeavors that you’d like to begin. This list can include an array of choices, such as a  new friendship, an herb garden, a dance class, a journal, a book you’ve always wanted to read, or a more honest way of communicating. Your selection can also be internally oriented such as paying more attention to what you feel or focusing on what brings you joy. Next, scan the list for something you can begin RIGHT NOW. Do so, and allow yourself to bask in it’s birth. Then keep the list nearby and make frequent beginnings an ongoing part of your life. Refresh the list often as you grow and change.

6.INTENTIONAL DREAMING – Dreams usually provide more question then they do answers. Are they a stress response? A secret code? A window to another world? There’s one way, frequently unacknowledged, to penetrate the puzzle. Through the process of intentional dreaming, we can bring our conscious and unconscious minds together. The result creates not only an expansive sense of presence, but also powerful inner guidance.

The Practice:

For one week, keep a notebook by your bed. Each night, before going to sleep, think about an aspect of your life in which you’d like some guidance. Then ask your unconscious to provide you with a dream about that topic, and make it one that you’ll remember. If you wake up from a dream in the middle of the night, write it down before returning to sleep. If you recall it in the morning, make sure you write is down before beginning your day.

7. SERVE YOUR COMMUNITY – The usual pitch, when it comes to volunteering, is that it’s appropriate to give something back. We’re called upon to serve as a fundamental responsibility. What this pitch obscures is that service is actually a privilege. Whether in a soup kitchen, battered women’s shelter, or Little League, service opens our hearts, connects us to the world, and fills the present moment with meaning. While service often provides great assistance to those in need, it foremost beneficiary is almost always the ones who serve.

The Practice:

Find a few hours a week for service. Choose a location or organization that you feel strongly about. Look for a position that takes advantage of your strengths or one that involves a refreshing change of pace from your usual work. Since the opportunity to make a contribution is a privilege, treat everyone you meet with appreciation.

8. INNER SMILE – Feeling joyful is not necessary for presence, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to induce it. Joy creates an almost instantaneous  sense of expansion – an inner smile that’s like a warm bath. Some call this warm bath “flow” or “spirit”. Experiencing it connects us to ourselves and to everyone and everything around us.

The Practice:

Think about someone or something that you love. This could be a child, a place in nature, or a favorite memory. Whatever you choose, make sure that just reflecting upon it creates an automatic smile. Then surrender to that inner smile. Let it light you up. Feel it spread through your body and even beyond it, uniting you joyously with your surroundings.

9. CONSCIOUS EATING – How many times have you craved one of your favorite foods, waited all day till you could have it, and then experienced no real enjoyment because your mind  began wandering even before the first bite? Such “absent eating” is the norm, but it doesn’t have to be

The Practice:

For a week, stay entirely focused on the experience of eating through at least part of each meal. This includes smelling, tasting, savoring, chewing, swallowing, and pausing between bites. When your mind drifts, as it inevitably will, avoid any self-criticism and just gently return your focus to the food in front of you.

10. BESTOW GRATITUDE – In the words of William Blake, “Gratitude is heaven in itself”. Just the experience of feeling grateful can connect us to a level of loving presence that’s as warm an d soothing as its profound. But the bestowing of gratitude is even ore heavenly. It creates a feedback loop of joy as long as you let it.

The Practice:

Think of one or more people for whom you’re deeply grateful. Be specific about why tehy inspire your gratitude. Once you’vev allowed yourself to exult in that gratitude, go ahead and share it. Don’t ask for anything in return from those you thank, except that they receive your offering.

 Witness how celebrating the NOW can make you feel more alive!! TIME TO GO CELEBRATE!!! Which of these 10 can you practice today? This Week?

xoxo,

barista

RIGHT NOW!

relax_your_mindI realized I want need to become more present in the moment. Seems so cliché and easy to say, yet is one of the hardest things to do. I spend way to much time worrying about the future, as most of us do. Thinking about…planning for…being scared of!!! The problem with that is that the future never ends up exactly how we envision it to be. Shit just doesn’t always go as planned. Think about it, when has something gone EXACTLY how planned? probably never, but stuff ALWAYS works out and life always moves on, doesn’t it.

We tend to stress so much over the “what ifs” but the key is KNOWING that even if things go worse than planned, those moments are just a tiny piece of a bigger picture for you.

Think about some of the things you stress over when thinking about the future. How much time is wasted stressing out? Time that you can never get back. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that things will work out just the way it needs to? Well the secret is, IT DOES! Things ALWAYS work out for the best even if now it doesn’t seem so. How many times have you looked back and realized that all the stress was unneccessary? Yet for some reason, we continue to act the same way again and again and again.

The lesson is to TRUST! Trust in the Universe! Trust in yourself! If you have faith in higher power, you need to have faith in yourself. They go hand in hand. Your level of trust in yourself is a mirror of the trust you have in something greater.

You should still have goals, ideas, and plans but you have to KNOW that no matter what your goals, plans, and ideas for the future are, you will get to where you need to be yet sometimes it’s not in the way you expected. You have to let go of the expectations to make room for something more grand to happen. Start thinking about all the things you want to change. Things you want to come to you. What kind of person do I want to be and what do I want for my life?

For your creations to become reality you have to take action which requires you to respond to today! The present. Think about, what can I do TODAY to move closer to what I want? How can I enjoy TODAY?

Think about RIGHT NOW. What you have in your life RIGHT NOW. Be thankful for RIGHT NOW. That’s gratitude at its highest form. Being thankful for where you are, who you are, and what you have RIGHT NOW!!

When you do that, all the worries and stress tend to go out the window. You can breathe in the air of the moment and experience life…. which is RIGHT NOW. The past doesn’t exist anymore and the future never comes. The ONLY thing we have is RIGHT NOW

Living in the past or the future, or in many cases both, does nothing but limit you from becoming the greatest you can be.When you are living from one of those places, you are actually missing right now. And if you are missing right now, you are missing life. If you are missing life, then whats the point?

Living in the present allows you to paint on a blank slate in every moment. You can create whatever you want. Whatever you dream. That’s the fun part. It shouldnt be stressful. Every moment is new. It’s not fun painting on a canvas that’s already used.  When you live in the present you begin to LIVE. You begin to be HAPPY. You don’t waste any more of your time being regretful or afraid. The stresses lessen because you KNOW that no matter what, your path and all the things that have happened or are going to happened are for your greater good so you can reach your highest potential. The faster you start to recognize that and see how it’s played in your life RIGHT NOW, the more time you have to live a HAPPY fulfilled life and make every moment count and THAT is the point! Look at how fast time flies… don’t you want to be able to feel new every day? every moment.

So I challenge you to practice living in the now. One easy way to do that is just showing gratitude. Being thankful for right now. Let go of any pain from the past and any expectations from the future and just witness the miracles in front of you. Even if just for a moment a day…stop, breathe, and enjoy RIGHT NOW!

xoxo,

barista