TRUE MARRIAGE

I snagged this off a friends Facebook and loved it and NEEDED it today.

I had to listen to this a couple times REALLY closelybecause it’s really deep. I hope it touches your heart the way it touched mine! enjoy

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Love and Be Loved

via Heal Your Life

Ten Tips on Loving and Being Loved: (by Tricia LaVoice)

1.LOVE BEGINS WITH YOU: Your inner voice is where your story of love begins: It is hard to feel worthy of love if someone is criticizing you all the time and especially if that someone is talking in your head. Stop self-loathing; it’s a waste of time. Stop comparing yourself to others and feeling like a victim. Dare to be proud of yourself, look for your strengths, watch for the negative talk and stop it.

2.GRATITUDE REFLECTION: Like any muscle, the heart get stronger with exercise. Gratitude reflection is a great exercise for opening the heart. Take two minutes each morning when you open your eyes and two minutes each night right before you close them to give thanks. Just go through the list of all the things you are grateful for—beginning with your ability to feel gratitude for the job that gets you out of bed each morning.

3.DECLARE LOVE: Give passion to everything in your life. Love your walks, your gardening, your age, the family you created, the weather patterns where you live. Grab onto it all as if you might lose it. See through a child’s eyes. Be thrilled and excited about life. Find miracles everywhere. Use the word love more often when describing aspects of your life.

4.LITTLE IS BIG: A big heart is full of endless possibilities to show love in little ways. Engage in small acts of kindness that cost little money, if any, and take little time. It is amazing how effective small acts of kindness are and how long they are remembered. Open doors, smile, call a friend that is hurting, put a card in the mail, pick up an extra coffee, make “just because” gestures part of your daily life. Don’t think it, do it! And yes, we all have more time for this than we know.

5.LOVE LIKE THE OCEAN: You have the ability to love like the seven seas reaching around the world and back. And like the ocean putting passion into each and every wave, all your love matters and makes a difference. We are all capable of grand love.

6.THINK HAMMER INSTEAD OF NAIL: At some time in our lives we will all experience pain and hardships. These experiences hurt and lead us to build walls around us to protect us from others. Yet, pain and hardship are great tools for opening the heart. You must have courage and strength and allow your hardships to open the flow of love in your life.

7.UNDERSTAND MOTHER NATURE: Mother Nature bestowed us with romantic love so we can reproduce, maternal/paternal love so we can care for the next generation and friendship so we can connect and protect one another. However, in addition to the bonding gift of emotional love, Mother Nature intended love to serve us in many ways. One way is by easing anxiety. The next time you find yourself in a situation with a coworker, stuck in traffic or angry at a stranger, stay in the love. Witness how calmly your body reacts and how much more you can handle in your life.

8.CUT OTHERS A BREAK: Most people are coming from a place of exhaustion and/or feeling unappreciated. People are overwhelmed and lonely, and Emotions 101 is not taught in any school. Regardless of how easy someone’s life may appear, they have their personal hardships. Simply cut them a break.

9.REMOVE THE DEBRIS: Think of a river heading home to the sea. As she voyages forward her journey is hampered if debris gets in her way and clogs her up. Anger, resentment, fear, judgment and blame are debris hampering the flow of love in your life. Self reflect, take responsibility and open your heart to love. You can find tools to release the debris by reading books, watching lectures, praying, forgiving others.

10.LET GO: Many people rarely if ever hear the words, I love you. It can be scary and awkward, but the more you say it the easier it gets. Just say: I love you to your mother, father, sister, brother, friend, anyone you love. End conversations with I love you. Just see how good it feels and how well it is accepted. Witness the love being returned to you. And remember to say, I.

Recognizing Your True Self.

I remember back a long time ago, in my head when I used to think about the future and what I was destined to do I had two visions in mind. What’s funny is that these visions appeared to be completely opposite. I am a very passionate person, especially when it comes to things I believe in. LOVE and deep care for human life and happiness is one of my sincere passions. So in one vision I always saw myself as this person “tree-hugger” type person that spread knowledge and fought for the things I believed in. I imagined myself not feeling the need to really have a big house, lots of money, a nice car as long as I was living what I believed in and helping others. The other vision I was destined to be this rich woman and nothing else mattered as long as I could have and buy the things I wanted. I never pictured this person being one in the same, I didn’t see it possible. One valued self and one valued things. As much as I knew the person that valued self was the TRUE me it was really hard to not want to value things. And it still is. Especially in a society that puts so much focus on the value of things and their relation to your importance as a person.

As I have grown older I’ve come to learn more about the difference between one’s true self and their “everyday” self. Your true self is deeper than your everyday self. I touched on this a tad here. Your true self is who you are in your soul. The purest part of who you are. When we were born into life form we were born in our purest form. Then as we grow and we develope an ego and stories about ourselves and others based on the things that go on around us we start to develop our everyday selves. Our true self is the one that can feel peace, security, love while our everyday self is succumbed to suffering, stress, insecurity.  Just seeing the difference between the emotions these two selves bring about, you can imagine how your reality and experiences could be very different depending on which self is you are experiencing. How can you live according to your true self if you can’t recognize the difference?

I found an article by Deepak Chopra that explains the difference between your TRUE self and your EVERYDAY self.

At those dark, tough moments, try to get some outside perspective about what is happening. The qualities of the everyday self and the true self are actually very different:

1. The true self is certain and clear about things. The everyday self gets influenced by countless outside influences, leading to confusion.

2. The true self is stable. The everyday self shifts constantly.

3. The true self is driven by a deep sense of truth. The everyday self is driven by the ego, the unending demands of “I, me, mine.”

4. The true self is at peace. The everyday self is easily agitated and disturbed.

5. The true self is love. The everyday self, lacking love, seeks it from outside sources.

Because of human nature it is not as easy for some to recognize the difference between both. It takes a lot of insight and practice. I know I mention “The Path” a lot and to me living a life on The Path means being your TRUE self. It seems like it would be so easy but in fact is maybe one of the most challenging things for us to do. Although challenging, your true self will NEVER guide you in the wrong direction. It knows the reality you are meant to live and when you have faith in it, it will make sure you get there. Your everyday self on the other hand, guided by your ego, will do everything in its power to separate you from your true self because it values separation. Millions of people spend their lives chasing the value of “things” due to living from the ego. These “things” will decide the quality and value of life, at least according to how society has trained us. The ego tells us we are separate from the next person therefore we can be scaled as better or worse than them according to our job, money, degree…our “things” and this determines our happiness. Well one of the best quotes I heard was “I wish everyone could be rich so THEN they will know, that’s not where it’s at”.

So while your everyday self wants “things” your true self knows what it really needs to bring joy into your life. Once you can recognize that and trust it your life will change dramatically. The “things” will still be there but your reality about them and most importantly, yourself will change. Your true self will start to offer for you all the things your ego can’t. Pay attention to how you feel. When you feel good it means you are aligned with your higher power. When you feel bad it means you aren’t aligned. Stand up to your everyday self and go towards those things that make you feel good, because in the end thats the thing we are all chasing after. Happiness and inner joy.

“Once you begin to recognize and encourage the qualities of the true self, your life will begin to change. You’ll make better choices. You’ll expand your awareness. You’ll discover and encourage your purpose. You’ll challenge yourself to meet new goals.

The greatest spiritual secret in the world is that every problem has a spiritual solution, not because every prayer is answered by a higher power, but because the true self, once discovered, is the source of creativity, intelligence and personal growth. No external solution has such power. The true self is the basis for being deeply optimistic about how life turns out and who you really are, behind the screen of doubt and confusion. The path to it isn’t simply inspiring; it’s the source of solutions that emerge from within” – Deepak Chopra

xoxo,

Authenticity

AUTHENTICITY is a daily practice.

Chasing Authenticity means cultivating the COURAGE to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Exercising the COMPASSION that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit. Nurturing the CONNECTION and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of what we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.

Authenticity demands WHOLEHEARTED living and loving. Even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it.

Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite GRACE, JOY, and GRATITUDE into our lives.

-Brene Brown Ph.D

We Need Each Other

I snagged this article from Tiny Buddha. It list Reasons We Need Each Other. I think this is powerful because when you REALLLLY think about it and are open, you can experience that we are all one. We all are going through the same shit. Yes we might have different experiences but under all those stories all  of our lives are living the same themes. We all want to feel love. We all want to feel good enough. That is what it comes down to. Could you imagine if we all could just give the love that we want to receive? THAT my friend is what WORLD PEACE would feel like.

I mean it just seems so simple and it’s in all of us but for some reason we prefer to continue to hold on these stories that most of us made up when we were toddlers. We make up some story about ourselves and our importance and then we add on and create our entire lives on this story and then because of the way we feel about ourselves we then will act in a way (of course most of the time subconsciously) that will cause our children to make up a story and the cycle continues.

One of the greatest experiences is the one of being able to feel connected to another person. However big or small the occurrence, that feeling of “Oh, they are just like me” tends to give us this warm feeling inside. A feeling of comfort. This is how come in most seminars, retreats, etc the most important part is the sharing by others. It is important because when someone else is sharing their story its seems SO easy as an outsider to see what is going on with them and we have the advice we would give them. This is because we can see a piece of ourselves in them and through contemplating their story we can then begin to contemplate and dissect our own.

NOW…. now that we’ve realized that we are all the same, here are some reasons we need each other:

The Power of Community

Here are 6 powerful reasons not to go it alone: (as written by Jen Waak via Tiny Buddha)

1. Collective wisdom. No one person ever has all of the answers, and regardless of the amount of Google-fu you may have, consulting with experts is always going to give you better information.

2. Pushing our limits. When working alone, it’s oftentimes too easy to give up when things get hard. By surrounding yourself with others working toward a similar goal or objective, you’ll get motivation, support, and friendly competition to push yourself just a bit further than you would have done on your own.

3. Support and belief. Some days those big goals just seem impossible. On those days when you most want to give up, you need to lean on your community the most. They believe in you—probably more than you belief in yourself.

4. New ideas. I truly believe that when you are working within a community of like-minded people that the wisdom of crowds is considerably greater than any one person working alone. Our divergent world views and lenses mean that we all approach the exact same problem slightly differently.

5. Borrowed motivation. Even on those days when your belief in yourself isn’t waning, doing what needs to get done can seem overwhelming. Look around your community and be inspired!

6. Accountability. If you’re an uber-responsible person, you may not want to admit to people you care about who are pulling for you that something didn’t get done. There’s nothing like having to be accountable to others to up your game.

These are powerful steps because the community we choose to interact with has a HUGE effect on how we can progress as a person. Sometimes we have to take a step back and reconsider those that are a part  of our tribe. We have no room for those that aren’t there to help make us a better person. Life is about change and progression and sometimes we can move at a little faster speed than others. And you know what, it’s ok!!! Surround yourself with those that will be there for you and build you up, esp when you are down, and move forward from those that want to keep you down. Can you still  love them? of course!!! but let them move at their own pace. Most likely when they see how awesome you are doing they will want to follow in your steps.

Who make up your community?

xoxo,