The Statement That Will Give You Chills

So the other day we went over Affirmations and I introduced steps on how you can create a heart centered Affirmation. I am reading this book “Wishes Fulfilled” by Dr. Wayne Dyer for school and in the beginning of the book he talks about thoughts and how powerful they can be. He says that if we truly want to transform we have to change our thoughts. I just quickly want to share a VERY powerful Affirmation that he shares in the book that literally makes the hair on my arms stick straight up when I read it. Although the format does not coincide with the ones I shared last week, you can still see how there are many types of possible Affirmations that can work for you. The main point is that it is a very powerful statement that is present tense and motivates you to think and create strong feelings around what you want from life or a situation.

I have a burning desire – an inner flame that will not be exstinguished by outer forces – to know and live from higher regions, to be transformed so that my new concept of myself will no longer include any limitation. I am willing to challenge and change my thoughts and impede my having a higher vision of myself

The reason I love this Affirmation so much is I feel it is one that everyone can connect with. When you are on your path of transformation, you will find that it’s not easy to just change overnight. Your whole life, however long that has been, has led you to think and believe the things you do. Although you may now know certain things are not working for you, up until now, it was working for you in someway. So you will see that it can be very easy, automatic, and comfortable to go back to the ways you have been used to for so long. You can probably already attest to being triggered and tested over and over again. Guess what? you won’t always pass but guess what else… it’s ok!!!

This Affirmation allows you to become present to the fact that outer forces will always be present. There are things that will try to extinguish your flame but you will no longer allow those things, people, or situations to limit you. You will no longer let your current beliefs and thoughts limit you. You are open and willing to challenge YOURSELF when old ways creep in and then guess what…. eventually you will start passing the tests. Over and over again!!! This affirmations brings alive in you the being you know already exists underneath all those old patterns and limiting beliefs and allows you to mindfully bring forth this idea and attitude when triggers and tests arrive.

If you are having a trouble coming up with an affirmation of your own, find one online or in a book that makes you excited. This one is definitely a good start. And remember, it takes consistency to create new ideas and pathways of thinking, so put your affirmation somewhere you will see it daily, even a few different places so you can see it throughout the day, that way you can truly transform yourself with it’s new ideas.

Let me know in the comments section what your current affirmation is, and if you do not have one, do me a favor…say the one above to yourself and tell me how it makes you feel?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista

How To Create A Heart-Centered Affirmation and Radically Change Your Life!

CatAndMirrorGood Afternoon,

Today I want to talk a little bit about Affirmations and how they can help change your life. If you don’t know what an affirmation is, it is a statement of intention. Something you want to affirm as being true. When we create affirmations, it is a statement we are affirming to the Universe that is expressing the direction in which we intend to move towards.

We all express lots of self talk during the day but the question is… how empowering is it? As discussed on many occasions before, our thoughts lead to our feelings. Repeated thoughts then lead to beliefs. So when you take some time to think about some of the thoughts that go through our head, especially the ones that happen continuously, what are some things you have declared to be true?

“I’m never going to lose this weight”
“They don’t care about me”
“I’m never going to find a good guy/girl”
“My relationship will never get better”
“I don’t have money or time to take a nice vacation

How many of you have thought these exact thoughts or ones that were similar? Can you see how statements like this can cause you to feel disempowered? To feel victimized, like you have no control over your life or your future. My guess is, when these thoughts come up, it doesn’t leave you feeling really good. Do you want to feel good? Do you wan to feel empowered? Do you want to feel like you do have control over your future and have a say in creating the reality that you would like? Changing “I’m never going to lose this weight” into “I am capable of losing this weight” is one thing but let’s go a little further and create a powerful Heart-Centered Affirmation that bring out the qualities that you want to share with the world. Something that gives you power and motivation that will heal and change your whole life for the better. Let’s start manifesting the person you know you are inside. C’mon let’s do it!

There are many types of Affirmations, today we are going to focus on creating a Heart-Centered one which focus on the quality or qualities you want to portray in your everyday life. These next steps are steps from a worksheet I received at school that helped me create powerful statement.

HOW TO CREATE A HEART-CENTERED AFFIRMATION

1. Pick a Quality (or Qualities)
In this step you want to think about qualities you want to strengthen in your current life. Attributes that would assist you in outwardly and inwardly calling you forward to that of your true Loving Essence. Something you want to posses more of. One thing we did in class was we sat in meditation for a few minutes focusing on the step and would pick the first quality or few qualities that would come to mind. You can also look at a list and pick one or two that bring a spark to your inner self when you read it

2. Anchor in Spirit by beginning with I AM…..
This is an important step because you are affirming that this statement is already true. You already posses these qualities.

3. Bring your process into the present (NOW)
We can do this by using action words ending in “ing” or “ly”. We can even insert our qualities right here. Example, If your quality is Acceptance then you want to use AcceptING. If your quality is Courageous then you will use CourageousLY.

4. Maintain a positive forward focus
Stay away from using phrases like I AM NOT or any words that are used in the negative.

5. Use energizing and descriptive words
This will help enliven and enrich your affirmation.

6. Include your Quality.
This seems like a no-brainer but sometimes we can get lost in the descriptive vocabulary, describing the traits of the quality that we can forget to use the actual word. If you did not use your quality in action form during Step 2 then make you don’t forget to insert it somewhere.

7. Include both Inner and Outer focus
This means focus on the intentions you want to bring forward from within and outside.

8. Include Enthusiasm.
This will help empower your process and make you feel excited when you think about or read your affirmation.

Here are some examples my teacher gave of affirmations using the guidelines above:

Quality: Trust
“I am trusting my Loving and sharing it openly”
– Inner focus “trusting my loving”
-Outer focus “sharing it openly”

Quality: Surrender
“I am surrendering to Spirit’s Love and sharing my joy with all”
-Inner Focus “surrending to Sprit’s Love”
-Outer Focus “Sharing my joy with all”

Quality: Courage. Strength of Heart. Trust. Authentic Expression.
“I am courageously standing in the Strength of my heart, gracefully trusting and following my inner guidance, authentically expressing my gifts in the world, while sharing the beauty of who I am”
-Inner Focus “courageously standing in the Strength of my heart, gracefully trusting and following my inner guidance”
-Outer Focus “authentically expressing my gifts in the world, while sharing the beauty of who I am

Once you have created an affirmation that resonates powerfully with you, you want to make sure to bring it alive within your Self. You have to know that your quality already exists within your consciousness in its full entirety. To bring overall change and healing in your life you want to engage with your affirmation on a daily basis. Speak it with heart. Write it down in multiple places so you can see it and be reminded of it often. Feel it’s presence and power inside. Hold a clear positive intention to activate and energize your quality within. Visualize yourself embodying your quality and affirmation. Lastly, use your everyday experiences as opportunities to demonstrate your quality and affirmation.

Using meaningful affirmations can have a HUGE effect on your overall life and experience of the world. They empower you to create the experiences you wish to have in your life. They allow you to shift your thinking and program new beliefs which will lead you to take action in the direction you truly desire. Sometimes it may feel weird at first, especially if you’re not used to believing it, but if it holds meaning to you, it will start to transform your overall being. You can create more than one and you can change an existing one as you see fit and as your experiences change. The key is to feel the power and let it live within, therefore to be expressed authentically.

Go ahead give it a try!!! Share your affirmation below, let me know if you need help.

My current Affirmation: “I am freely standing in my truth, sharing my soul courageously with others, thus creating Authentic Empowerment within and all around me”

live inspired!

xoxo,

barista

Are You Having A Hard Time Staying Motivated? Here’s Why

Competition

“A lot of people jump into higher consciousness, and forget about lower consciousness. They haven’t done their ego work, their feeling work. They’re bliss’d out. It’s just another mood alteration, and it’s a hell of a trip. I did it myself….it became very important to me to realize all of that was a kind of intellectual defense – a wonderful mood alteration, compulsive spirituality. It was a way to stay out of my feelings. I think all that stuff is really valid, but if you don’t do your ego work – what I call the original pain work – it WILL pull you back” – John Bradshaw

Have you ever felt highly motivated about something, you feel great about it and slowly but surely that motivation fades away and you feel like your back where you started? I feel like that happens to me a lot in a lot of different areas. One for example is when I want to start working out and feeling healthy. I will start to wakeup early, maybe do some morning exercise videos. Eat a healthy breakfast, maybe even juice and drink some tea. Go to the gym after work, occasionally fit in some bikram yoga. Start a nice bedtime routine and feel wonderful like “This is how the day should go everyday“. Then slowly but surely over the course of a few weeks, sometimes even just a few days, some of the new habits starts to fall off until eventually I’m back where I started agonizing over why I can’t keep going.

One of the first things we learned in class was the different realms we work from. At the top there is the physical realm. The act of DOING stuff. Underneath that is the Mental realm which is our THINKING. Next under that the Emotional realm which of course is our FEELING. Together the Mental realm and the Emotional Realm is what we call our EGO. Underneath that is the unconscious, things that are there but we do not remember whatsoever. And lastly under that is our Spiritual Realm aka our Authentic Self which is one of Love, acceptance, peace, joy etc. It’s who we TRULY are, our SOUL.

DOING leads to THINKING leads to FEELING. Things that are in the unconscious are unknown of course (otherwise we’d be conscious of them) and those things will come up as they need to when its perfect time for you to deal with them.

So to explain this method of DOING something and feeling motivated and then regressing back to your original state, we have to look and work on our ego. Our ego likes to play tug of war with our authentic self. It doesn’t like being pushed to the side and forgotten about. So in moments when we feel our Authentic self and we act on it, our ego will feel a bit left out so you know what he does? He gently and sometimes not so gently will start to a game of tug of war with our soul. 

The soul has us thinking and feeling “You will feel wonderful…you will be at peace and grateful and full of love and wanna dance in the field of happiness with the world”  well the ego pulls back and says “oh no….you can’t forget about me…I’m gonna make you feel separated, jealous, intolerance and anger” and he lead us into situations in which we will be forced to deal with all the mental and emotional unresolved issues that were stopping us from acting from our Authentic selves in the first place.

We might feel very spiritual and authentic in a moment but unless we have the knowledge, skills, and experience etc to deal with and resolve the stuff the ego has brung forth, we will be unable to sustain the positive physical actions. On the other hand when you are able to resolve them, when you find yourself in situations, the feelings the ego will try to push on you will no longer bother you and it is then when you can consistently start to move forward in the physical task you are wanting to progress in.

I have come to see how this pattern has been true for me. I have been living in a sort of spiritual entertainment state for the last 4 years. Reading the books, attending the seminars, helping others, feeling the bliss from the positive physical actions. But I also know I have done very little to really work on the ego aka original pain work. I just haven’t had the right skills to be able to effectively do so. So with no fail, I do find myself pulled back into a war in which my ego likes to win. That one time I skip out on going to the gym or eat something bad takes me to a place of negative self talk, shame, and all the pain work that had me in a place of “not-doing” to begin with and that discourages me until im back at…..you guessed it NOT DOING!

The question then becomes, Well Barista, how do we deal with ego and the pain work? How can we work to dissolve it?

Yoga at the nature

That answer can be different for everyone. I don’t know if I have that answer. Previously for me the answer was to read lots of spiritual books, listen to online conferences, read uplifting blogs, immerse myself in spirituality and while that all is awesome, without doing the “pain work”, it’s nothing much different then alcohol or drugs. It became addicting because it’s was giving me the blissful feeling without having to deal with the hard stuff. And when stuff did get hard it became really easy to blame others…well he isn’t doing all the “work” I’m doing so he just doesn’t understand.

Listening to people talk and reading blogs are good but it’s just words. It’s just someone talking or me reading. Doing yoga, juicing, exercising, attending seminars, even me making a move and applying to school and any other “spiritual” practice is all good stuff, definitely GREAT STARTS but if you’re just using it to temporarily forget about the “pain work” and not experiencing and dissolving the ego then you WILL find yourself back in the same place you were before you started.

This is one reason I am highly appreciative and grateful for my school in this moment. It is giving me the tools and most importantly the experience in a safe environment which is VERY important. I am able to not only work on myself through experience with my classmates but I also get to experience these classmates as other souls working on the same goal. Connect to their loving essence. This is teaching me to release judgement and learn self compassion and compassion for others. Having this experience in this type of environment then allows me to enter into the “outside world” which may not feel so safe all the time, and allows me to fully practice and recreate the feelings I have created inside the safe environment. Not only that its one full weekend at a time.

Although I do highly recommend USM to everyone on the planet, I’m not suggesting its the only way to go. But I am suggesting to find the support that works for you. One that allows you to practice without judgement and one that is full of love and acceptance. You’re current practices may work but when you see that ego surface use that opportunity to figure out the underlying pains and work on dissolving those.

A common thing for us to do is to blame and try to change the outside factors so we don’t have to deal with what’s going on inside of us. but it’s when we learn to take responsibility for those moments that we start to dissolve them. Those moments may not always feel so great. There is crying, and headaches, and lots and lots of turmoil, but there’s also connection and love and forgiveness and acceptance…most importantly in yourself. The ego can then no longer sustain our authentic selves and our soul becomes stronger. It’s when feeling and thinking those qualities in ourselves that we no longer have to blame the outside world. We then welcome it with open arms and love. These are the moments in which you grow and good news is, those are the moments that prove you are willing to feel alive. If you aren’t feeling the Ying and the Yang, you are moving through life dead and we all know there’s no fulfillment in that.

In what areas do you find yourself highly motivated but then regressed? Do you notice if you are pushing away the ego or do you work on dissolving it? Take a moment to look at your practice and see where you can improve on the pain work.

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

Stay tuned and see how my process is developing along the way while attending USM.

xoxo,

barista

Ps: If you are indeed ready to start working on dissolving the issues that are holding you back, I am Very very proud to announce USM is still enrolling students. The only requirement is that you want to become a better YOU. While, if you qualify,  you can get your Masters Degree, there are people that aren’t working on that. Being that it’s only one weekend a month, you can live anywhere on the planet and attend. There are people in my class from Boston, Florida, Virginia, Canada, Mexico and many more places other than Los Angeles. Invest in YOU. ITS YOUR TIME!

for more info click here

The Daily Love: Paradox of Uncertainty

Had to re-post an article by Jacob Sokol wrote on The Daily Love yesterday. Being that I am 28 (almost 29, yikes) I am definitely at that point in life of really trying to figure out, What do I want to do? What is my purpose? and I felt like this article was a great motivator.

I know many friends, and im sure some of you, that are in this same boat. The most scary thing about trying to figure these answers out, especially at this age, is not knowing what lies ahead of you and being unable to see how you will “safely” get there.

Well the key word is “safe”. Something to ask yourself is, what has “safe” done for you so far? Most likely safe has gotten you to the place where you are now… anxious and uncertain.

Check out what Jacob has to say about this Paradox of Uncertainty (via The Daily Love).

jacob You ever feel a pressure to pick the *perfect* path in your life?

Technically the options are endless but it feels like there’s nowhere to start. How do you know what’s realistic and what’s a straight-up pipe-dream? You wanna make an impact, you wanna stack cake, and you wanna be emotionally rewarded. But what exactly do you need to do, and how exactly do you get started?

I know I’m not the only one who’s been paralyzed by this predicament. It can feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausting – like we’re tirelessly treading water, waiting for the right job, mentor, or situation to suddenly appear. SPLASH!

As a generation, there’s this invisible yet immense weight on us to identify e-x-a-c-t-l-y what we wanna do with our lives and then spell it out in a 5-point-plan for achieving our 10-year-goals.

The seed for this mysterious pressure was planted way back when we ate spaghetti with our hands and wiped our faces with our shirts. The authority figz (mom, dad, and teach) asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up: A doctor, a lawyer, or a teacher perhaps? If you were me, you said a garbage truck, and were serious.

Picture it… we had the knowledge base of 7-year-old’s. We barely knew our alphabet and we probably couldn’t control our farts yet. You think we’re capable of accurately analyzing the emotional, social, and financial sacrifices required to pass our GREs or get into med-school? Compound that contorted notion with the reality that most professions which existed thirty years ago are now becoming obsolete endangered species (a shout out to the evolution of technology and the globalization of the economy).

Asking us the seemingly innocent question, “What do YOU wanna be when you grow up?” implies that we SHOULD know what we wanna do (or “be”). If you’re lucky you’ll hear, “You’ve got PLENTY of time to figure it out,” subconsciously continuing to stress the imperative significance of this passive-aggressive suggestion.

So is it really any surprise that by the time we reach our mid-20s we’re already going through a quarter life-crisis? Pop-culture paints the 20′s as the most glamorous years of our life, which just makes it even MORE frustrating for us, since we feel like “Why-the-f don’t I have ‘IT’ figured out already? What’s wrong with me?!”

And since we feel like picking the perfect path in our 20s will dictate our 30s, 40s, 50s – our entire life (!!!) – it’s no wonder why we’re paralyzed by possibilities.

It’s a poetic paradox: On one hand, we have ALL the possibilities in the world. And on the other hand, all those possibilities leave us feeling anxious and uncertain.

A few hours ago, I got off the phone with a girl who I coach. She was uneasy, bothered by the plethora of potentialities for her future and (of course) didn’t quite understand which was the *perfect* path to pick. Baffled, she asked me for some guidance.

The Existential Rat Race

Taking a deep breath, I momentarily reflected three years back on my own path. At the time, I was 24-years-old and having an allergic reaction to my life.

You see, I used to work for an awesome IT company as a computer network consultant in Times Square NYC. I made a nice living enjoying all the cliché token things a “successful” 24-year-old would want: A sweet apartment, a fun car, a fast motorcycle, a fashionable wardrobe, and fancy dinners with friends.

So WHAT was missing?

Enthusiasm! Behind the scenes, I led a life of quiet desperation and all the new techy toys in the world wouldn’t prevent me from waking up and feeling like, “Damn, I gotta go through THIS routine again today!?”

Questions like, “Who am I?” and “What’s my purpose?” marinated heavily in my mind. It was an existential rat race.

Fast forward to today, three years later, and my hero’s journey has had some remarkable turns. I’m living my purpose, doing *EXACTLY* what I wanna do, and, I’m getting paid to do it!

But if you would have sat down with the 24-year-old Jacob and asked him to imagine doing what the 27-year-old Jacob is currently doing, it’d be unfathomable.

Why? Because it was nearly unimaginable and COMPLETELY unrealistic. I hadn’t “leveled-up” my sense of reality yet. In other words, my sense of what was REALLY possible with life hadn’t been proven to myself BY myself.

Sure, I read lots of inspiring books and watched loads of (illegally downloaded) personal growth seminars on how to become a better person (I love you, Irony). BUT, it was inspirational entertainment. 90% of the time I was *watching* and 10% of the time I was *doing*.

You see, I hadn’t actually taken that stuff which was so fascinating and implemented it into my life – day after day – thus, not yet believing – rather, not yet KNOWING – it could be my reality!

There were a sequence of subsequent realities I had to get to, one by one, month after month, in order to be where I am today. I needed to defy the odds, one step at a time, before I could imagine the incredible possibilities for my future. (So do you.)

Well, where am I currently? The short answer: Coaching peeps on how to find their purpose and increase their quality of life.

But how did I get there when two years ago I didn’t even know what a life coach was? I fully immersed myself IN myself. I invested in myself, spending 1000′s of hours consciously doing the work I needed to in order to figure out how I could enjoy an optimal life with a deep sense of purpose. I threw my life over the fence of my fears, into the yard of my dreams, and then had the sensible response of “now I need to go get that!”

I had doubts, fears, panic attacks, and suicide contemplations. (Yes, all in the last three years.) I faced gossip, criticism, ridicule, and opposition. My family told me I was an idiot and old-skool friends subtlety evaporated.

Was it easy? Hell no. Was it worth it? Hell yes!

Last Sunday I interviewed the man who taught the most popular class at Harvard of all time. Our conversation was about happiness. And for the last 10 months, I’ve been having similar conversations with other world-class thinkers as I create A Roadmap for Young Adults to navigate the current challenges we face today.

What’s ‘A Roadmap for Young Adults’ you ask? Well, I know you’ve heard of Mastin’s The Daily Love EXTRAVANGANZA (which was produced by en*theos). Well, I’ve been working with en*theos since February 2012 to create my own extravaganza addressing the current cultural challenges of being a Young Adult in today’s world.

The relationships which have sprouted from the conversations for this event have been soul-boggling! I’m interviewing my heroes!

I’ve also been Mastin’s Teacher Assistant on 4 out of the 5 classes he’s taught this year. I’ve got some incredible mentors and a flourishing coaching business that helps other peeps create extraordinary lives, too. The list goes on.

Three years ago, there was NO possible way you could have convinced me that this would be my reality. I didn’t even know who these people were. I didn’t even know what a blog was. A life WHAT- coach?!

Before any of this could be my reality, I needed to step into uncertainty, trust my gut, invest in myself, and allow myself to follow myself. I needed to figure out how to live on purpose. And I have.

The Paradox of Uncertainty

“Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.” -Tim Ferriss

My advice to my client was straight forward: don’t worry about figuring it all out right now. But INVEST in YOURSELF. Do the work, the deep DEEP work of figuring out who you currently are and who you aspire to be in the future. Ask yourself the quality questions!

What would you do if you had unlimited time and money? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and everyone thought it was awesome? What qualities do you admire in others and how you can cultivate them in yourself?

And with a diligent work-ethic, and a L O O O O O O N G-term perspective in mind, focus on two main things.

  1. Service. How can you create massive goals of serving people (and trusting in the karmic process of reciprocity without the need for immediately getting gratifying results)?
  2. Your values. How can you *enjoy the process* of serving people – doing things that are in alignment with your values while cultivating and using your strengths to rock it?!

Success works in counter-intuitive ways.

The more we can serve others, the more we’ll be served. When we move toward our fears, they lose power over us. When we become vulnerable, we get stronger. And when we step into uncertainty, infinite possibilities present themselves!

For many of us, NOT attempting to predict our futures may be the better option. We can’t turn a corner until we arrive at it. And if we’ve never been down a road, it’s impossible to know what lies around its corner (sorry Google-maps, you don’t work here).

What we CAN do is find certainty in ourselves.

We can find certainty in knowing that when we rock our fundamental practices daily – our exercise, nutrition, meditation, gratitude, social relationships, creativity – we’ll be stepping into our higher-self.

We can find certainty in studying and cultivating our knowledge of self – our passions, strengths, ambitions, values, fears, triggers, purpose, and definition of success.

We can find certainty in dispelling our limiting beliefs by taking action in the face of fear.

We can find certainty in knowing there is a Uni-versal path – and when we show up PATIENTLY, PERSISTENTLY, PLAYFULLY, and DILIGENTLY, we are *bound* to be successful!

Don’t limit yourself to the perceived possibilities that currently exist in your life. Allow yourself the leeway to virtuously step into uncertainty so you can do what matters most to you, TRUSTING, that in the long run – “in the long run I say” – the best place you can play is in the paradox of uncertainty.

On purpose,

Jacob

Guest Blogger: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

 Hello… I haven’t always been a straight “A” student nor a contributor to life. Growing up disturbed, lonely, and afraid led me into a constant cycle of abuse which varied between abuse coming from outside myself and the abuse coming from inside my own beliefs and decisions. I always knew I was meant for something greater than a life in the adult industry, but I never had the enthusiasm and determination it takes to overcome the obstacles I was facing. That is, until I became a single mother and vowed to do whatever it took to learn what it meant to heal and become a healthy, hard-working mama. The love I had for my child gave me the key to my motivation and success. Through showing up for her, I get to heal myself and give her all the things I needed as a child. Love is a powerful thing.

I would say most people do not like to be uncomfortable… the ones who do, get used to being uncomfortable because they have seen the payoffs. Those are the ones truly living. Like Olympic athletes who struggle through every training, push themselves to the edge & triumph in their success after they have reached their goals. They have to learn discipline, dedication, and foster the ability to overcome adversity. I have realized, I am the Olympic athlete of my life.

Ever since I can remember, I have lived with this deep pain in my heart and the overwhelming feeling of not belonging to anyone or any group. I experienced a lot of adversity through multiple layers of abuse that no child should ever experience. I was in so much pain that I had to learn how to survive, not life, but survive my own feelings of discomfort (suffering). I would run, literally, I would hide, and I would self-medicate for over a decade. Until one day, an innocent human life was put in my hands to take care of & I decided to face reality once in for all. Intuitively, I knew that the only way to being capable of mothering a child would be to stop the crap & get ready for battle with my own demons.

Over time the lessons get deeper and more clear. Just recently I transferred to UC Berkeley with a bundle of fears and self-doubt. How can I, an ex-stripper (some would say ex-whore), keep up with the big dogs here in the academic & spiritual world? I have recently won 29 awards for my community service efforts, my club involvement, and advocacy. I am riding on a full-ride scholarship to the best public school in the world. Most people without heavy abuse baggage & decades of self-loathing would be delighted. I, however, went into a terrible depression. All the issues I thought I had already worked on came rearing their ugly faces & for a moment I believed it was who I was. But then, through reaching out to God, to my inner self, to my friends, and my family… I realized this is the lesson. I am allowed to feel. Deeply, truly, for better or for worse & this very torment I was going through, I knew it would soon come to an end & I would be bigger, stronger, and ready for the next level.

The trick is acceptance & non-judgement BUT how can I not judge myself when I am on the kitchen floor crying wanting to give up and feeling so alone? You just have to breath and ride this part of the wave and trust this the path will not abandon you. I chose this! I will practice receiving & soaking up the fruits of my hard work & dedication. This is the hardest part for me… just accept the goodness & let go of everything that I AM NOT. I can testify that when you set out the intention to heal & to reach your fullest potential… WATCH out bc it ain’t no joke! You will have to face the deepest darkest ugliest parts of yourself & the world to emerge on the other side. 

All I wanted four years ago, when I became pregnant, was to not party and to heal for this child. I wanted to be a good mama, I wanted no one to ever take this child from me… and I got it! I didn’t know how hard this road would be, but I also had no idea how deeply rewarding it was going to be as well. Just when I think it can’t get any better, it does. And, then it gets bumpy again… but those bumps catapult me into another level of existence with my heart blazing on fire, ready to take on the world & love & be & sing & dance & play & eat & feel. That’s the adventure.

People always tell me “your so inspirational” “how do you do it” “you are so brave”… For me, there’s absolutely no other option anymore. I refuse to live in misery and pain and shame anymore. I have the most precious responsibility to adhere to raising a little girl… I don’t dare give up or back down from that even when everything in me screams to run away. Get comfy with being uncomfy & wonderful things will happen.

If you want to heal, if you want to be free, if you want to learn what it means to live, just ask & get ready. Take your stance.

xo, Robin

Robin Rivera, a former worker in the adult industry and abuser of alcohol and drugs for many years, is now an ambassador for the CalWORKs Association (which supports low-income families get out of poverty through education & training). She is also a mentor at MISSSEY (Motivating, Inspiring, Supporting, and Serving Sexually Exploited Youth) where she works helping many young girls and prevent sexual exploitation of young children through raising awareness, education, and development. Recently Robin was awarded the  2012 Miller Scholar at UC Berkeley as an undergrad and started her curriculum there this August. “All of these involvements have been part of my healing process teaching me one step at a time to love my path and to have self-acceptance. 29 awards later and numerous public speaking engagements, I have accepted that because of my position it is my obligation to give voice to all the people who society can not hear”. You can follow Robin’s personal blog, Crazy Beautiful.

Passing The Test!

For the last few years a friend and I always talk about how we want to invent/create something successful. Always thinking of ideas or seeing stuff, that we thought we imagined first, already out. Well I got this magical idea (no i will not share it yet) almost two years ago, wow i cant believe its been sitting for that long already, and I am FINALLY taking the steps I need to take to make it come to life. FINALLY!!!

I mean I just realized when writing that it’s been an idea in my head for 2 years now. 2 YEARS!!! what?!?! I mean I’m not the only one this happens to. People get great ideas alllll the time and just sit on them because they are too afraid to move forward. I bet you have an idea of something you want to do RIGHT NOW. Their classic excuse is “BUT I don’t know what to do next”. Well do you think all those people out there with all their ideas just magically know what to do next? No most of them don’t. But guess what? They find out what to do next….and then they do it. That is what makes the difference between the those watch their life and those that create it. We are all here living this experience because we have talents to share yet so many of us make excuses as to why we aren’t good enough for them. All those ideas in your head, all the things you want, the life you dream…. you have absolute control over creating it ALL. Not only are you good enough, but that’s why you are here, you deserve it all.

I went through the classic excuses; “I don’t know what I’m doing”, “I don’t have time”, “I don’t have money”….. I cant…I can’t… I can’t!!! What about the reasons I can or I want to. I have an idea and that ALONE is reason enough to move forward. If you want something and you are committed to it, you find out how to make it happen and you make room for it in your life. So many times I was in a certain situation and I thought about my idea and how “I really need to create it” yet so many times went by where I just talked about it and made no moves. I always dreaded the thought that if someone else created my idea it would be my worst nightmare because I did feel so passionate about it. Waiting 2 years to make a move though,  it was almost like I was waiting for someone else to do it first so I didn’t have to step outside my comfort zone.

 so FINALLY at the beginning of August I met with a guy that was more experienced at what I wanted to do and talk to him so I can FIND OUT how to move forward with my idea. The meeting went great, it ended with me needing to do a little more research about the product and competitors. While doing this I found two concepts that were a little similar to mine but they were very simple compared to what I wanted to create. I decided before I was done to try looking up the NAME that I thought of just to make sure there wasn’t something already made with the same name. AND THERE IT WAS!!! My idea was made and released just 3 days before I met with “the guy”. Not only that, it had the SAME NAME. I was devastated. I wanted to quit IMMEDIATELY!!! I felt like my worst nightmare had come true and someone already had a head start. I sulked for about a few minutes and then I realized what was going on. This was a TEST!!!

You see, life loves to throw you test to see how committed you are to what it is you say you want. This is something I REALLLLY want. I figured I can give up and let someone else make their way to glory possibly or I can keep going, think of a different name, and make my product better. I choose to keep going. I had a meeting the other day, we went over the design and how I wanted it to function and I have a meeting next week to continue to move forward.

How committed are you to that life and things you want? How many excuses have you made for why you can’t move forward? You are meant here to live and create greatness so instead of sitting and watching others create their dreams, its time for you to create yours. Follow your passions and do the things you love and want to do. Share with the world your creations. We all have something.  All it takes is your idea, your passion, and your belief!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

xoxo,