Stop Believing the Lies

Just felt like today was a good day to shine some Truth in your life. Ya know, you really gotta stop believing all those lies you tell yourself. You know, the ones about not being good enough. The lies about not being worthy or loveable. The lies that you can’t do it or that someone else is better than you. The lies that people won’t accept the real you. That they won’t like you, if you show them who you really are. The lies that you don’t have enough or that you need more. The lies that you could have or should have done better than you did. That you should know better by now. The lies that there is something wrong with you, or that you must be crazy. All of those lies are nonsense. Because guess what? You’re perfect. Just as you are RIGHT NOW. You are. You ARE god enough. You ARE worthy and loveable. You CAN do it. Maybe someone is more skilled than you, but you that to propel you forward, not hold you back. People will accept the real you. And the ones that don’t…..well, let them move on.

perfect

Please show us who you really are. It’s a disservice to yourself, us, and the world, by faking it. You DO have enough right now. Be grateful for ALL that is in your life because it’s nothing but gratitude that will bring you more to be grateful for. And if you get nothing else, who cares. You’re alive and you can still make a difference. What more do you really need? Looking back, maybe things could have been different. But who is to say it’d be better? Truth is, we’ll never really know. Truth is, is that in the moment, you truly were doing the best you knew how. Learn the lessons and move forward, knowing next time you’ll still be doing the best you can. We always are. Nothing is wrong with you. You aren’t crazy, or stupid, or messed up. How many times do I have to tell you, You are perfect RIGHT NOW! Just how you are. You are EXACTLY where you need to be to learn the lessons you need to learn to grow into the person you are destined to become. Isn’t that great. No matter how you look, what you do, what you have, who you know, those things don’t matter as much as you living your Truth. So stop telling yourself all those lies. Stop believing them. This is YOUR life. If you’re gonna make stuff us, at least make up stuff that will make you happy. That will allow you to win. Because those lies, you see those lies….they just get in the way. They keep you stuck in a place that no longer works anymore. When we are stuck, we stop living. And YOU…YOU ARE HERE TO LIVE!!! To experience ALL that life has to offer. So how about we start believing the TRUTH. The TRUTH IS…. YOU ARE LOVE! Nothing less! If you start believing THAT…. What would your life look like then?

Let Love Surprise You!

xoxo,

barista

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My Very First Time, I’m Addicted!

“Oh there is a bench, I always imagines leaving my first letter on a bench”

“But no one is going to see it there. Don’t you want to leave it where someone is going to find it?”

“Someone will find it there. I’m sure someone will walk by that bench”

I walk up to the bench with my blood rushing through me, ready to leave my very first letter on New Year’s Day. What a way to start 2015. This is the very moment I have worked up to. I trudged through muddy resistance over and over to get to this moment. This is the kickoff. Here we go. (looks around to make sure no one is looking). I leave the letter on the bench and take a picture of it to post on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for later.

bench

I wrote a few letters leading up to this moment, and I don’t even know which one this is. I don’t even know what it says and if it’s even a “good” one. I never re-read them before I seal them up because I know if I do that then I will start working with my mind and judging the crap out of it. Probably end up ripping it up because “it could be better” and someone deserves something better. I am learning to trust in Spirit. To trust myself. By not re-reading them and by having more than one on hand, I know that whichever one I magically lay down is the one that is meant to be in that place at that time. No judgment, no regrets!

I head back to the car. The baby is crying in the back. He’s hungry and wants to get out of his seat. I decided to get him out of the car and walk through the shopping center parking lot so he can eat some banana and stretch his little arms and  legs.

“OMG! Someone found it. Someone already found it. They’re reading it right now. OMG OMG OMG! Hurry, give me my camera. Quick hurry before they walk away.”

“What, don’t post their picture”

“I’m not gonna post their picture. I just want to take a picture. I’m gonna take it from here so they don’t see me. It’s my first letter and someone already found it. I have to capture this. It’s a memory of how it all begins”

“Here” (hands me camera phone)

“It’s a girl. And it looks like maybe her dad and her brother. They are reading it and looking around. They are smiling. She’s taking a picture of it… Omg I have to hurry and post the other picture of when I left it to Instagram and Facebook if she goes on there so she can see it.”

I was NOT expecting this at all. I then walk past where they are standing trying to be as nonchalant as possible. I see the big smiles on their faces. I see how happy they were to find a love letter just sitting there, waiting patiently for them to discover it.

A rush of love and happiness fills my body. I feel nervous, and excited, and humbled all at once. I instantly want to do it again. And again and again. That, ladies and gentlemen was my first time. 

Leaving Love Letters for strangers to find is so fun and freeing all at once. Knowing that I left a piece of my soul in that note and knowing that very note found its way to another stranger’s heart and filling them with smiles and love as well, makes it all worth it. Every bit of fear, resistance, discouragement, and self-doubt was all worth it. Because I didn’t let it hold me down. Instead of was able to rise up and work through it. And I will continue to do so, because chances are, those things will come back. Again and again. It’s their job.

I know this movement is going to be big. I feel it with every ounce of my body. I am excited about it every single day. I love sharing it. I love reading emails of people who either found a letter or is planning on leaving one. I love creating fun campaigns to keep people involved. I love designing the website. I love hearing about awesome serendipitous experiences. I love the joy others feel when they leave their own letters. I love how a letter someone found has brightened up their day. I love how an idea I made come to life, has inspired others to stand in their loving as well. I love LOVE and I love spreading LOVE!

I know that step by step, I feel like I’m finally doing what I want to be doing. I am making an impact on the lives of people and I am spreading love to the world. There is nothing greater than that. That is why I am here. To be the vessel in which Love can continue to manifest into my life and the lives of others. Every time someone says “Thank you for starting this”, I can humbly say “I have allowed the idea to flow through me, yes, but this will continue to grow because of people like YOU that are willing enough to share a piece of their heart and being with a stranger” (or something along those lines, you get the point)

This isn’t my movement. This is OUR movement! Thank YOU!

For me, I am learning that as much as leaving letters is a form of spreading love and inspiration to others, it is also a practice of letting go of control and stepping into the unknown. I don’t want to wait around and see every single person that finds a letter. To me, that is not letting go. That is not stepping into the unknown. But I can say, I am glad I was able to witness that very first person find, open, read, and smile about that very first letter I left. It was exactly the affirmation I needed to continue to move forward. So thank you Spirit, for providing that opportunity for me.

To YOU, I hope you join the movement and spread love to your community and wherever you go. It’s FUN! And when it’s your first time, I say just go for it. Write whatever comes to mind, dont judge it. And then just leave it somewhere. Don’t judge that either. TRUST and LET GO! Don’t worry, you’ll want to do it again. I promise!

xoxo,

barista

Serendipitous Loving

So my new Love Movement, Let Love Surprise You, has taken off and has been nothing less than amazing. So much perspective and underlying lessons involved, which I will share in a separate post. What has me writing today are the magical moments that have happened for the people involved. Serendipity at it’s finest.

serendipity

 [ser-uh n-dip-i-tee]  noun
1.an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.



When I decided to start this movement, it was on the basis of trusting in the guidance of the Universe. When writing the letters, I connect with Spirit and I allow myself to become a channel in which divine words can come through. I try not to think too much with my brain, and let the words flow from my heart, leaving bits of my soul with them. When I leave the letters, I try to allow myself to be open to the places that call me. This process of writing and leaving, is one of trusting that I am creating a message and allowing that message to be found by the souls that need it in that moment.

Although others involved in this movement, may not have the exact same process as me when writing their letters, I also trust that the whisper they heard that urged them to be involved, is the same whisper that not only guides me but guides them through whichever process they choose and that THEY are involved to be a vessel just the same.
That being said, I just wanted to share about two moments that have made my heart flutter since this movement began. There are always signs available to lead us down the path of the Divine, signs showing us we are going the right way, or helping us find our way back. We get that proof, when we finally decide to pay attention.
Last week, a friend of mine had written a letter to leave… Here’s her story:

“So, yesterday I take my love letter and I go to M Street Coffeshop for the afternoon and wait for the right moment to drop it on a table outside the coffeeshop…I pop outside a couple of times and there are always people around so back inside I go, waiting for the right moment…When I finally leave, the tables have cleared and there’s not a soul outside, so I surreptitiously leave it on a table and then sit in my car for a few moments…I make a couple of phone calls quickly and then I decide it’s time to leave…so I turn my car round and as I do, these two sweet guys walk out of the coffee shop and get into a little Fiat parked right outside the coffee shop, next to the table where I left the letter, and what does their license plate say?!

“SPRDLOVE”

Ridiculous!!!

So, of course I pull up next to them and make them wind down their window and I tell them about Let Love Surprise You and the Love Letter I just left on the table to help spread a little love…

And we laugh and we laugh and we laugh…just 3 of us, strangers but not remotely strangers sharing that beautiful and uplifting feeling of connection and serendipity and the inner knowing that there is true magic on this planet…and then I drove off joyous and grateful…and the person who received the letter hadn’t even received it yet!!”

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She could have left the card earlier. She could have driven away right when she got in her car. She didn’t have to stop and talk to the men in the car. I mean think about, if she had chosen to do any one thing differently, she would have not seen that license plate, she wouldn’t have met those people, she would have not felt that serendipitous connection she felt with them and the process of her leaving the note. All of these “signs” were validation that everything happened perfectly as it should have, because she decided to listen to the whisper in her heart that let her know when the “right moment” was.

Another story I want to share was one I became aware of yesterday when someone who found a note contacted me. This is the first person that has contacted me about finding a note and this story made my heart skip a beat. She writes her story in her blog, Girl’s Gone Child, and every moment leading up to her finding the letter she found was truly a Divine experience. You can read the blog post in its entirety here, but I will quote the parts that touched me the most.

This woman was going on a road trip with her family from LA to San Francisco. During the beginning of the blog, they are deciding if they should take Highway 5 or Interstate 1.

The 1 (Pacific Coast Highway) was salve for my soul in my pre-baby days. The Henry Miller library was my second home. I befriended Magnus (who ran the place) and was allowed to sit in the back with all of the artifacts and write there. I purchased an original photo of Miller back in 2002, that hangs above my desk in my office. I met my former book agent at the Big Sur Writer’s Workshop, hosted by the Miller library where I work-shopped my second (unpublished book), The Envelope, a 340 page novel that focuses on the power of an anonymous, found letter.

I have only been back once—with Hal, the summer of 2004, weeks before Archer was conceived.

I had the same feeling then that I did all of those times before, the feeling of standing on the cusp of the unknown—the ocean stretching infinitely below as waves crashed and trees swayed and people crouched on the side of the same road, looking down and out and up and across and within. I wanted to feel that again. I wanted ALL OF US to feel that together.

When I explained to the kids that we were going to take this trip, I told them that we had two options for the drive.

‘We can go the five hour way, up the 5 freeway, which is a boring drive with no real views, or we can take the 1 which will be long and beautiful—with seals and views of the ocean from cliffs—one of the most scenic drive on the planet, perhaps… ‘

I went on to explain that I felt this choice was a metaphor for life and I asked them to think about it for a day, to think about what it means to choose the “fast, easy, uninspired path” as opposed to the “long, winding, treacherous BUT BEAUTIFUL one.”

I told them to decide for themselves but to remember that they will have many times in their lives when they will have to choose between EASY and DIFFICULT. And that difficult will almost always yield the most worthy experiences. No pressure, kids, but there are no shortcuts. You get what you pay for… 

The next day it was unanimous. Archer and Fable both wanted to go the “beautiful way with the seals.” Maybe for me, maybe for themselves… or for another reason entirely. Whatever it was, we were set. Hal and I were in. Archer and Fable were in. Bo and Revi were down for whatever. Hal and I high fived.

The day before we left for San Francisco, I was warned that our plan to take the 101 to the 1 is too much for four kids.

And it is.

It’s a long drive with lots of windy turns and few rest stops and dangerous views.

“It’s going to take you guys forever.”

“The kids will get carsick.”

“You’re crazy. Just take the 5.”

Every single person we talked to said the same thing. That it would take 7897892713 hours. That we were crazy to even try. That we should wait until the kids were older. That we could take the 5 up and cut over in Carmel…

“But we’d miss the seals if we did that! We’d miss Big Sur…”

“Maybe so but it will be a much easier drive…”

Exactly.

Fuck easy.

Easy is never going to be the point”

They then pull  over in Piedras Blancas to see the seals and make their way to Big Sur and The Napenthe.

The plan was to stop by the Miller Library in Big Sur and grab lunch at The Nepenthe but it’s 3:30 now and too late for both. We put our names on the reservation list for dinner instead.

We walk down to the cafe and wait.

I explain to the kids and anyone who will listen how significant The Nepenthe was to writers and artists through time… that years before Hal and I eloped I had big plans to someday get married here.

“This is where I want my ashes spread when I die.”……

Moments later, after deciding that we would rather get back on the road and find a restaurant that could seat us before dark, I notice a small piece of folded paper sticking out from one of the beams at the edge of the deck. Archer had just been standing beside it, his body framed by two umbrellas and, wait, what is that…

I pull the paper out from under the beam. It’s a letter.

A letter To: YOU, as in… me? As in me.

A letter found at The Nepenthe in Big Sur, spitting distance from the place I wrote The Envelope almost thirteen years before. A book about an anonymous letter found on the street.

I read it to myself and then aloud. And then I think, “wait. Is someone fucking with me right now? This can’t be real. Is this real?”

It is. It’s real and it’s amazing and I feel so lucky to have found one of these letters and to now know about such an incredible movement to send love to strangers for absolutely no other reason than to send love to strangers. 

(The kids and I will be writing anonymous letters and hiding them all over Los Angeles this year and hope you’ll join us. I mean, can you imagine if this really caught on? All that energy put out into the world? That’s power, man. What a concept.)

Thank you for your beautiful letter, Maya, wherever you are. The note lives in my wallet now — a reminder to keep on down the road and in your words “to stay myself.” And to, perhaps, revisit The Envelope some day. This year? Maybe so. Feels right. Feels like the signiest of signs…

Found: Letter at The Nepenthe

I mean WHATTTTTTTT?!?!?! I remind you this is the very first person to let me know they found a letter, the odds this woman is an awesome storyteller with an amazing story is unreal.

I mean think about it, what if they took Highway 5? What if they didn’t stop and see the seals for as long as they did? What if her son wasn’t standing where he was standing? I mean the odds that THIS woman’s adventure placed her exactly where she needed to be to find this letter, are beyond phenomenal. A woman that had written a book 13 years earlier called, The Envelope, which is about finding an anonymous letter on the street, near the exact place she wrote the book. I mean there are so many serendipitous things about this story I could go on forever. It completely trips me out!!!

At the same time, all I can really do it smile and laugh with my heart because I know that as unreal as it all seems, it’s so very real. It’s just yet another sign that I choose to pay attention to while taking the journey of starting this movement.

I almost didn’t start Let Love Surprise You because of fear, and it’s stories like these that affirm that this isn’t about ME. This isn’t about my ego. This isn’t about recognition or money or anything like that. This is about a love movement that existed in the realm of the Universe and I am just one of the many that decided to listen and be the vessel in which it could exist, exactly where I am during this time.

It is hearing and experiencing moments like the two above, that confirm the serendipity of the world. And although things may seem to be “by accident”, NOTHING is ever an accident. Everything takes place in perfect Divine timing. That’s really what this movement is about. Spreading Love and becoming a ONE with the world. Listen for the whispers and following your heart. LET LOVE SURPRISE YOU!!!

xoxo,

barista

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN!

It’s the last day of 2014, I can’t believe it. I swear the year just started. So much has happened this year. It seems the more that has happened, the less I have been able to keep up on here. I owe you guys big time. I am excited though, to share with you, on this last day of the year something that  I have started that takes such a huge place in my heart.

I started a Love Movement called Let Love Surprise You. This has been an idea of mine for a few years now and it was not until now that I decided to step up and make this idea a reality.

Remember, I told you that Year 2 of my Masters was going to push us well out of our comfort zone into excellence? I am well on my way there. In Year 2, over the course of the year we have to complete a project. Something that has meaning to us and is heartfelt and in most cases, something we have always wanted to do.

I’ve always felt very lost when it came to picking a career. I loved so many different types of things that I never knew what to pick. I’ve started, yet never completed, numerous different things. I know deep inside, I’ve always held a lot of resistance that I let prevent me from fully moving forward in one vocation. One of the things that attracted me to my school was this Second Year project because I thought it would be the chance for me to make moves towards something I really wanted to do, but didn’t know how to do it. Going into school and knowing about this project, I always thought I was going to do something different. Write a book maybe, host a workshop, lead a retreat. I was thinking of what  I could do that would jump start some sort of career for me so I could be well on my way once graduation came.

During the first class at school, as we were going over possibilities for our projects, this movement kept coming to my mind out of nowhere. I was having a really hard time because although the movement was something I always wanted to do, my ego kept me thinking about nothing but money. If I start this movement, would I make money? Would I be wasting my opportunity here to  really start a career? Am I just scared to do something “bigger”?

I felt like there was this fight between my ego and my authentic self. This movement was something that was really heartfelt and really serving yet I had no idea how I was to make money doing it. If I did something like host a retreat, I would be making money and also starting something I could continue making money with.

One of the things that scared me the most was what other people would think. Answering the dreaded question I always get of “what are you going to do when you graduate?” or after graduation of, “What are you gonna do now?”. My school is not your average school, so you don’t leave with some guaranteed profession upon graduation BUT if you take advantage of your second year project, you very well could.

As much as I wanted to make money, as much as I wanted to feel more control, as much as I wanted to feel more safe and secure, I couldn’t ignore the whisper in my heart of starting this movement. Something was urging me to go for it and trust in the Universe and that as I serve, I will be served. So I chose to trust. And I continue to trust everyday.

Aside from my decision to go back to school and not knowing how I was going to make it happen moneywise and the fact that I was pregnant when I started, this is one of the first times I have chosen to let go of the outcome and trust in the Universe’s path for me. Trust that this idea came to ME for a reason, not just to push it aside and ignore it. Trust that I could do it. Trust that others would love it too. Trust its purpose. Trust that I would make a difference in others lives. Trust that if I am suppose to make money this way, that other ideas would come and I will make money. If not, then that is ok. And if that’s the case, the purpose isn’t for money. It’s for something else. This is the first time I truly trust that. This is the first time I have let go of control and let go of having to know and be sure of the outcome. All I know is my intention and I’m going with that. I am getting comfortable with the Divine Unknowing. And it feels AWESOME!

My movement is kicking off New Years Day (United States time) and I am nominating you to be a love ambassador.

let love surprise you

There is a huge kickoff that people all over are contributing too and all I can be sure of is this is only the beginning. I hope you will be involved. I know I’ve teased you a little bit thus far by not telling you exactly what the movement is about, but bear with me and please visit http://www.letlovesurpriseyou.com to check it out. Right now I have been recruiting people to help me kick this off BIG. I would love for you to be a part of it. And then a year from now, when it’s going strong, you will know you helped it start!!!

Together we can bring more loving to this world! GO BE LOVE!

LET LOVE SURPRISE YOU – you never know where it could lead!

xoxo,

barista

The Invitation

A classmate posted this in our USM group and I absolutely loved it. Speaks Loud.

 

artistlaurieb1

The Invitation   By: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

 

:::sigh:::

 

xoxo,

barista

I EXIST FOR YOU

I have seen this story come up a few times, you may have as well, but just in case, I wanted to share it with you!

Shikoba

This could just be the best way to resolve all conflicts. — Originally posted on Films For Action In this African tribe, when someone does something harmful, they take the person to the center of the village where the whole tribe comes and surrounds them. For two days, they will say to the man all the good things that he has done. The tribe believes that each human being comes into the world as good. Each one of us only desiring safety, love, peace and happiness. But sometimes, in the pursuit of these things, people make mistakes. The community sees those mistakes as a cry for help. They unite then to lift him, to reconnect him with his true nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth of which he had been temporarily disconnected: “I am good.”

Shikoba Nabajyotisaikia!

NABAJYOTISAIKIA, is a compliment used in South Africa and means: “I respect you, I cherish you. You matter to me.” In response, people say SHIKOBA, which is: “So, I exist for you.”

Boy could we all learn from this one. To see the loving essence in others even when they can’t see it themselves. To inspire others of their true nature even when it feels hidden. To exist to serve others instead of ourselves. How the world would change.

Next time you are speaking to someone, even better if its a difficult relationship, I challenge you to do so while ONLY connecting with their loving essence. SEE them for the loving being they are. Listen to what they are saying behind the words, behind the behaviors, behind the personality. Connect love to love

I can bet it will make a difference.

xoxo,

barista