My Very First Time, I’m Addicted!

“Oh there is a bench, I always imagines leaving my first letter on a bench”

“But no one is going to see it there. Don’t you want to leave it where someone is going to find it?”

“Someone will find it there. I’m sure someone will walk by that bench”

I walk up to the bench with my blood rushing through me, ready to leave my very first letter on New Year’s Day. What a way to start 2015. This is the very moment I have worked up to. I trudged through muddy resistance over and over to get to this moment. This is the kickoff. Here we go. (looks around to make sure no one is looking). I leave the letter on the bench and take a picture of it to post on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for later.

bench

I wrote a few letters leading up to this moment, and I don’t even know which one this is. I don’t even know what it says and if it’s even a “good” one. I never re-read them before I seal them up because I know if I do that then I will start working with my mind and judging the crap out of it. Probably end up ripping it up because “it could be better” and someone deserves something better. I am learning to trust in Spirit. To trust myself. By not re-reading them and by having more than one on hand, I know that whichever one I magically lay down is the one that is meant to be in that place at that time. No judgment, no regrets!

I head back to the car. The baby is crying in the back. He’s hungry and wants to get out of his seat. I decided to get him out of the car and walk through the shopping center parking lot so he can eat some banana and stretch his little arms and  legs.

“OMG! Someone found it. Someone already found it. They’re reading it right now. OMG OMG OMG! Hurry, give me my camera. Quick hurry before they walk away.”

“What, don’t post their picture”

“I’m not gonna post their picture. I just want to take a picture. I’m gonna take it from here so they don’t see me. It’s my first letter and someone already found it. I have to capture this. It’s a memory of how it all begins”

“Here” (hands me camera phone)

“It’s a girl. And it looks like maybe her dad and her brother. They are reading it and looking around. They are smiling. She’s taking a picture of it… Omg I have to hurry and post the other picture of when I left it to Instagram and Facebook if she goes on there so she can see it.”

I was NOT expecting this at all. I then walk past where they are standing trying to be as nonchalant as possible. I see the big smiles on their faces. I see how happy they were to find a love letter just sitting there, waiting patiently for them to discover it.

A rush of love and happiness fills my body. I feel nervous, and excited, and humbled all at once. I instantly want to do it again. And again and again. That, ladies and gentlemen was my first time. 

Leaving Love Letters for strangers to find is so fun and freeing all at once. Knowing that I left a piece of my soul in that note and knowing that very note found its way to another stranger’s heart and filling them with smiles and love as well, makes it all worth it. Every bit of fear, resistance, discouragement, and self-doubt was all worth it. Because I didn’t let it hold me down. Instead of was able to rise up and work through it. And I will continue to do so, because chances are, those things will come back. Again and again. It’s their job.

I know this movement is going to be big. I feel it with every ounce of my body. I am excited about it every single day. I love sharing it. I love reading emails of people who either found a letter or is planning on leaving one. I love creating fun campaigns to keep people involved. I love designing the website. I love hearing about awesome serendipitous experiences. I love the joy others feel when they leave their own letters. I love how a letter someone found has brightened up their day. I love how an idea I made come to life, has inspired others to stand in their loving as well. I love LOVE and I love spreading LOVE!

I know that step by step, I feel like I’m finally doing what I want to be doing. I am making an impact on the lives of people and I am spreading love to the world. There is nothing greater than that. That is why I am here. To be the vessel in which Love can continue to manifest into my life and the lives of others. Every time someone says “Thank you for starting this”, I can humbly say “I have allowed the idea to flow through me, yes, but this will continue to grow because of people like YOU that are willing enough to share a piece of their heart and being with a stranger” (or something along those lines, you get the point)

This isn’t my movement. This is OUR movement! Thank YOU!

For me, I am learning that as much as leaving letters is a form of spreading love and inspiration to others, it is also a practice of letting go of control and stepping into the unknown. I don’t want to wait around and see every single person that finds a letter. To me, that is not letting go. That is not stepping into the unknown. But I can say, I am glad I was able to witness that very first person find, open, read, and smile about that very first letter I left. It was exactly the affirmation I needed to continue to move forward. So thank you Spirit, for providing that opportunity for me.

To YOU, I hope you join the movement and spread love to your community and wherever you go. It’s FUN! And when it’s your first time, I say just go for it. Write whatever comes to mind, dont judge it. And then just leave it somewhere. Don’t judge that either. TRUST and LET GO! Don’t worry, you’ll want to do it again. I promise!

xoxo,

barista

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YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN!

It’s the last day of 2014, I can’t believe it. I swear the year just started. So much has happened this year. It seems the more that has happened, the less I have been able to keep up on here. I owe you guys big time. I am excited though, to share with you, on this last day of the year something that  I have started that takes such a huge place in my heart.

I started a Love Movement called Let Love Surprise You. This has been an idea of mine for a few years now and it was not until now that I decided to step up and make this idea a reality.

Remember, I told you that Year 2 of my Masters was going to push us well out of our comfort zone into excellence? I am well on my way there. In Year 2, over the course of the year we have to complete a project. Something that has meaning to us and is heartfelt and in most cases, something we have always wanted to do.

I’ve always felt very lost when it came to picking a career. I loved so many different types of things that I never knew what to pick. I’ve started, yet never completed, numerous different things. I know deep inside, I’ve always held a lot of resistance that I let prevent me from fully moving forward in one vocation. One of the things that attracted me to my school was this Second Year project because I thought it would be the chance for me to make moves towards something I really wanted to do, but didn’t know how to do it. Going into school and knowing about this project, I always thought I was going to do something different. Write a book maybe, host a workshop, lead a retreat. I was thinking of what  I could do that would jump start some sort of career for me so I could be well on my way once graduation came.

During the first class at school, as we were going over possibilities for our projects, this movement kept coming to my mind out of nowhere. I was having a really hard time because although the movement was something I always wanted to do, my ego kept me thinking about nothing but money. If I start this movement, would I make money? Would I be wasting my opportunity here to  really start a career? Am I just scared to do something “bigger”?

I felt like there was this fight between my ego and my authentic self. This movement was something that was really heartfelt and really serving yet I had no idea how I was to make money doing it. If I did something like host a retreat, I would be making money and also starting something I could continue making money with.

One of the things that scared me the most was what other people would think. Answering the dreaded question I always get of “what are you going to do when you graduate?” or after graduation of, “What are you gonna do now?”. My school is not your average school, so you don’t leave with some guaranteed profession upon graduation BUT if you take advantage of your second year project, you very well could.

As much as I wanted to make money, as much as I wanted to feel more control, as much as I wanted to feel more safe and secure, I couldn’t ignore the whisper in my heart of starting this movement. Something was urging me to go for it and trust in the Universe and that as I serve, I will be served. So I chose to trust. And I continue to trust everyday.

Aside from my decision to go back to school and not knowing how I was going to make it happen moneywise and the fact that I was pregnant when I started, this is one of the first times I have chosen to let go of the outcome and trust in the Universe’s path for me. Trust that this idea came to ME for a reason, not just to push it aside and ignore it. Trust that I could do it. Trust that others would love it too. Trust its purpose. Trust that I would make a difference in others lives. Trust that if I am suppose to make money this way, that other ideas would come and I will make money. If not, then that is ok. And if that’s the case, the purpose isn’t for money. It’s for something else. This is the first time I truly trust that. This is the first time I have let go of control and let go of having to know and be sure of the outcome. All I know is my intention and I’m going with that. I am getting comfortable with the Divine Unknowing. And it feels AWESOME!

My movement is kicking off New Years Day (United States time) and I am nominating you to be a love ambassador.

let love surprise you

There is a huge kickoff that people all over are contributing too and all I can be sure of is this is only the beginning. I hope you will be involved. I know I’ve teased you a little bit thus far by not telling you exactly what the movement is about, but bear with me and please visit http://www.letlovesurpriseyou.com to check it out. Right now I have been recruiting people to help me kick this off BIG. I would love for you to be a part of it. And then a year from now, when it’s going strong, you will know you helped it start!!!

Together we can bring more loving to this world! GO BE LOVE!

LET LOVE SURPRISE YOU – you never know where it could lead!

xoxo,

barista