Stop Believing the Lies

Just felt like today was a good day to shine some Truth in your life. Ya know, you really gotta stop believing all those lies you tell yourself. You know, the ones about not being good enough. The lies about not being worthy or loveable. The lies that you can’t do it or that someone else is better than you. The lies that people won’t accept the real you. That they won’t like you, if you show them who you really are. The lies that you don’t have enough or that you need more. The lies that you could have or should have done better than you did. That you should know better by now. The lies that there is something wrong with you, or that you must be crazy. All of those lies are nonsense. Because guess what? You’re perfect. Just as you are RIGHT NOW. You are. You ARE god enough. You ARE worthy and loveable. You CAN do it. Maybe someone is more skilled than you, but you that to propel you forward, not hold you back. People will accept the real you. And the ones that don’t…..well, let them move on.

perfect

Please show us who you really are. It’s a disservice to yourself, us, and the world, by faking it. You DO have enough right now. Be grateful for ALL that is in your life because it’s nothing but gratitude that will bring you more to be grateful for. And if you get nothing else, who cares. You’re alive and you can still make a difference. What more do you really need? Looking back, maybe things could have been different. But who is to say it’d be better? Truth is, we’ll never really know. Truth is, is that in the moment, you truly were doing the best you knew how. Learn the lessons and move forward, knowing next time you’ll still be doing the best you can. We always are. Nothing is wrong with you. You aren’t crazy, or stupid, or messed up. How many times do I have to tell you, You are perfect RIGHT NOW! Just how you are. You are EXACTLY where you need to be to learn the lessons you need to learn to grow into the person you are destined to become. Isn’t that great. No matter how you look, what you do, what you have, who you know, those things don’t matter as much as you living your Truth. So stop telling yourself all those lies. Stop believing them. This is YOUR life. If you’re gonna make stuff us, at least make up stuff that will make you happy. That will allow you to win. Because those lies, you see those lies….they just get in the way. They keep you stuck in a place that no longer works anymore. When we are stuck, we stop living. And YOU…YOU ARE HERE TO LIVE!!! To experience ALL that life has to offer. So how about we start believing the TRUTH. The TRUTH IS…. YOU ARE LOVE! Nothing less! If you start believing THAT…. What would your life look like then?

Let Love Surprise You!

xoxo,

barista

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How Are You Buying Into The Illusion?

island-beautiful-boat-courttio-Favim.com-573018Hey you,

It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. I apologize for that. My year 2 has started for school and booooooooy is it gonna be a full year. Fulfilling as well. My blog here has been put on the back-burner for the most part, but as always, I will continue to express as and when I can.

Something I want to discuss today is the idea of the comfort zone and what stepping outside of it means.

This year in class we are being pushed to excellence and although it’s going to be a very exciting journey, it also is very scary. It’s scary because in order to reach excellence, it calls for us to step outside of our comfort zone. It calls for us to grow beyond where we stand right now. It calls for us to step into this space that can be very uncomfortable to say the least. It calls for us to deal with ALLLLLL the reasons we aren’t there right now.

The space between the comfort zone and excellence is that space of uncomfortableness. A space we can refer to as the Divine Unknowing. In order to reach excellence, we have to willingly choose to navigate the path of the unknown. The one thing about that is, when we begin to navigate that path there is a natural inclination to want to move back into the comfort zone. We often let fear get the best of us and we move back into what we feel is safe, secure, and what is already known.

If you are ok with your life as it is right now, wonderful…stay in your comfort zone. But if you want to live the life of your dreams, learn and grow, become the best you can be, experience true freedom, and rise to excellence as you are here to do, then it calls that you take a risk. It means that you must choose to be uncomfortable. Yes I said it, you have to CHOOSE to be uncomfortable. You must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

What are your dreams? Are you still looking for that dream job, that dream mate, that dream place to call home? What stops you from going for it? I’ve had a lot of talks the last few days that have to do with being in this place of fear. I like to call it “What If” Island.

Imagine you just landed on this mysterious Island in which you didn’t know anything about. You weren’t sure what kind of animals lived there, if there were other people, the weather, what food to eat. How do you go about navigating this Island?

Well most of us suffer from the “What Ifs”. Hence I said SUFFER. What if there are scary animals that will eat me? What if the people don’t like me? What if I can’t find anything to eat?

Now let’s move these What Ifs off the Island and into your real life. What if I make this move and then something else comes along? What if I don’t like it? What if he doesn’t want to date me? What if I run out of money? What if I don’t get this job? What if they like someone else better? What if I don’t have enough experience? What if they say no? What if I’m not good enough?

We can sit there and list a MILLION reasons as to why something MIGHT not work out for us. A BILLION reasons. I have a few questions though. What If the animals are friendly? What if the people do like you? What if you do like it? What if he does want to date you? What if you make even more money? What if you do get this job? What if you get the life you’ve always dreamed of? What if that island is filled with the most loving, accepting, fun people, with the most beautiful wildlife, and most amazing food?Why is it so hard to think about how GREAT your life can be?

What is the number one reason people like to stay in the comfort zone?

Yes, you guessed it…. CONTROL. We like to feel like we have some control over our lives and our surroundings. But guess what. Control is just an illusion of the ego. Think about it. Do you ever REALLY have control? You could walk outside and get hit by a bus tomorrow. Do you control that? You walk around every single day not really knowing what’s going to happen next. You don’t have any more control in your comfort zone than you do outside of it. Yet guess what. You THINK you do. You buy into the illusion. And because of that you feel safe, and secure, and a knowing. And because of that, you try hard to control the next steps, you try hard to know the answers, you try hard to make SURE you know the results. Because of that, you stay in the same life with nothing really changing and never really growing. Because of that, you suffer. Your life suffers.

Remember you must CHOOSE to live the life of your dreams. You must CHOOSE to step outside your comfort zone. You must CHOOSE to reside in the Divine Unknowing. It’s in your choice, where most of the growth comes from. On your way to Excellence, you must risk not knowing. Simple as that. Not only must you risk it, you must be ok with not knowing. Hell, you need to LOVE not knowing.

Maybe some things you are worried about are correct. Maybe he wont like you. Maybe you won’t get that job. Maybe they will say no. The question is, what is the meaning you are putting to it all? What are you choosing to believe about the outcome? How are you letting it stop you? The thing you always have to remember is that no matter WHAT happens… you will be ok. If you believe the Universe is on your side, you will be better than ok. You know why? Because you will have had the opportunity for growth and learning, from taking the risk in the first place. And if you believe the Universe is on your side, when you get a NO, then you know that it only means something better is waiting for you. You have to risk it regardless of the possible outcome.

When you can become ok with the outcome, whatever it may be… You will be supported. It just may not always be in the way you expect. When you can let go of YOUR way and open up for A way to show up, it is then you experience TRUE freedom! It is then you can relax in the bliss of knowing the Universe is on your side. You are MEANT to reach excellence. That is what you are here for.

The cool thing about stepping outside your comfort zone is, as that as you start getting comfortable in the Divine Unknowing, your comfort level will rise. That new space will then become your new comfort zone and you will once again have a new chance to choose to go even higher than before. There is no cap for your excellence.

As we reach the edges of our comfort zone, we get scared. It’s natural. But instead of letting that fear stop you…. how are you gonna use it to move forward? What new job and meaning can you give it?

Are you tired of suffering? Are you ready to reach excellence?

It’s funny that most of us dream about Islands for get-a-ways…we seek pictures of Islands as comfort… what if that’s just your soul’s way of calling you to step into the unknown.

You deserve the life of your dreams. GO FOR IT!

xoxo,

barista

 

The Invitation

A classmate posted this in our USM group and I absolutely loved it. Speaks Loud.

 

artistlaurieb1

The Invitation   By: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

 

:::sigh:::

 

xoxo,

barista

Your Child Doesn’t Need To Earn Your Trust

picture from withacuppacoffee wordpress

picture from withacuppacoffee wordpress

As you may know, I am reading The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary. I think this book is absolutely amazing and I think every parent or person wanting to be a parent can benefit from the perspective that it brings to the table. Honestly, I think even if you never want to be a parent, this book can translate to your other relationships just as well.

Our children are a mirror of the child in us, and if we are wise, we will use that mirror as a tool to “grow ourselves up” so that in turn we can make sure our children are growing up as well without the projections of our own feelings and unresolved childhood. Our children are people too!

Because our children start off so small and dependent on us, I think it can be challenging to realize that they are their own spirit with their own purpose and lessons in life, and because of this we can unknowingly hinder their true nature and spirit from really shining due to our lack of consciousness and the weight we put on our own ego.

I want to share one a section of The Conscious Parent, mainly because I feel that TRUST, in general, plays a huge role in our ability to truly express our own true essence, in turn our children’s ability to express theirs. If we want our children to really grow up, it starts with us. I think this section of the book can relate to children or any other relationship in your life whether you are a parent or not. If anything, you can see the type of projections your parents may have projected onto you and how you may be living those out in other areas of your life. Do you project a natural trust and confidence or distrust and anxiety of life?

“Because few of us really trust the wisdom of life, people tend to project their lack of trust onto their children. Consequently, our society believes that trust has to be earned.

I believe that not only do our children not need to earn our trust, but they need to know that we trust them implicitly, because we see them as fundamentally trustworthy. Just by their presence, our children have earned the right to be trusted. To ask them to earn our trust reflects an insecure, power-hungry attitude that’s charged with both fear and ego.

To have implicit trust in our children requires that, as parents, we display a basic reverence for and trust in life. The degree to which our children feel trusted by us reflects the trust or lack of trust we ourselves have. When we come from the mindset that all of life is wise, and therefore all its manifestations good, we see our children this way. We frame all mistakes as emerging out of a pure place. If this is so, where is there room not to trust our children? On the other hand, if we are anxious and doubt our ability to transform life’s struggles into spiritual gold, no matter how we assure our children that all will be fine, we unconsciously transmit the opposite message.

As parents, we communicate trust or distrust in the subtlest ways. The questions we ask our children, the lectures we give them, and the unsolicited advice we dish out all convey trust or distrust. For instance, when we repeatedly ask our children how they are doing, believing they must be going through something, or other, we unwittingly communicating our own anxiety and hence our mistrust of life. By constantly checking on our children, hovering over them, or needing to know everything about their world ,we communicate a sense of uncertainty which undermines their basic trust in themselves. The less we check in on them in an anxious manner, the more we communicate the message that we don’t need to check in with them all the time because we know they are fully capable of taking care of themselves and will ask for help when they need it.

When we make decisions for our children without giving them the chance to chart their own course, we communicate to them our own powerfulness and their helplessness., which fosters a distrust of themselves. If, instead, we solicit their ideas and show respect for these ideas, even if we can’t always incorporate them into our plans, we communicate a deep reverence for their ability to contribute to the discussion at hand. Our children sense when we have a true deep respect for their opinions and choices. It’s vital we recognize that, though they may only be little, they have a valid opinion that we respect and always take it into consideration. As our children see that their presence is both meaningful and important to us, they learn to trust their inner voice.

We promote trust when we encourage our children to speak up and be heard. They learn to trust themselves as we tell them ‘I admire the way you put your thoughts together,’ and assure them ‘I trust you to do the right thing’. Should they happen to make an unwise choice, we don’t allow this to cause us to indicate a lack of trust in them, but simply tell them in a matter of fact manner, ‘You made this decision and now you are learning from it.’ Lack of trust doesn’t enter the equation.

I assure my daughter, ‘You will always be okay, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, because this is the sort of person you are’. Above all, I communicate a trust in life’s ability to take care of us spiritually. Once we look at life as an incubator of consciousness, what is there not to trust?

When our children sense our respect for their ability to lead the way, this empowers them beyond measure. As they learn they are worthy of holding trust, this will come to mean the world to them. They will naturally rise to our trust in them.”

in what ways was trust or distrust projected onto you by your parents? Do you find yourself comfortable with life’s situations or do you find that you are anxious about things? How are you projecting that onto your children? In what ways can you be more trusting in your own life?

Leave your comments in the comments section and SHARE this with anyone you think might like. I hope u found this insightful in some way

xoxo,

barista

Pale Blue Dot By Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, atheism

“From this distant vantage point, the Earth may not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it’s different. Considering in that dot,  That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space

 

 

Guest Post: Becoming Leigh

Leigh-Headshot-21Back at the end of March, we each did a presentation to a group of classmates that was a creative expression of how we were obtaining the information and skills we were learning in class. Now there is this wonderful spunky human being in my class that goes by the name of Leigh. She was in the group next to me doing her presentation and I remember wishing that I could hear what she was doing because she’s a very fun person so I knew it had to be great. Plus she was dressed in a tutu which is always awesome!!!

After our group presentations, one person was picked from each group to present in front of the entire class. Well I happened to be in Labor that day so I missed out on all the fun. I’m not sure if Leigh was one of the people who presented in front of the entire class but I saw that she had posted her presentation on her blog and wanted to share it. It reminds me of The Egg story I posted before.

And this ladies and gents is Leigh’s creative story about a Divine being getting ready to have a Human Experience.  Enjoy

 

Hello God, Divine Being #337512728 here.  I heard you wanted to see me?  What?  It’s my time?  I get to go shooting to earth trailing clouds of glory and begin manning my earthsuit?!  Awesome!  I am ready.  What earthsuit am I going to get?

Leigh? In Kansas?  Leigh, is that a boy or a girl?  A girl, ok.  But, Kansas?  Oh, she doesn’t stay long.

Where is she, I am ready to see her!

Oh, there she is!  She’s darling!  She’s so cute!  Her mother’s not  touching her.  She is completely neglecting her. Oh my, her dad is spanking her little 7 year old tush too hard.  He’s taking his rage out on her.  Look at her, she feels so alone.

Ok.  Let me think for a minute…her earth school curriculum is going to be… Unworthiness?  Am I right?  Yes! (celebration)  I knew I would get in on the first try.

God, I don’t mean to judge your work, but why do so many people get that curriculum?  Couldn’t you think of something more original?  I don’t get it; it’s like every time….

Okay, okay, I’ll focus.

There she is in 3rd grade.  She is fist fighting with Greg Hyde and David Bishop.  God, do something!  (pause) Oh, she beat them both up.  Is this the ‘all of life is a learning lesson’ theory?  Got it.

She’s in 4th grade and she just became Miss Jr. Overland Park at her local mall.  She is taking risks and being rewarded.  Good for her!

She’s in 6th grade.  She became the first girl president of John Deimer Elementary School!  She’s learning to over come her obstacles.

Jr. High; cheerleading, drill team, and volleyball.  High School cheerleading, drill team, she’s a good dancer.  She is really using the creative talents you have given her, God.  Look at her go.

She’s at the end of senior year and she loses her virginity at 18 to Bruce Oothout.  That’s because she thought that was the guy she was going to marry.  Glad that didn’t work out huh, God?

College…oh my.  Girls gone wild!  Drinking, sex, drugs and eating too much pizza.  She is running too fast.  Doesn’t she know she is better than that?  Oh wait… she is living her earth school curriculum of being unworthy.  In that case, she is doing a really great job.  But, please tell me she figures it out soon.  That’s hard to watch.

She graduated with a degree in Recreation and Leisure.  That gave her surgeon father a hearty belly laugh.  And she’s off; St. Thomas Virgin Islands, Guam, and she became a SCUBA diving instructor for Club Med, Tahiti?  God, I’m going to have a blast!

She’s settling down in Los Angeles – wouldn’t you know she ended up in the city of angels.  She is still partying hard and making out.

Look God, she is now 31, sick of being single, and is coming to you for help.  She is being so specific with her prayer.  Boy did you answer… David Koechner!  You must really like this girl to give her Dave, he is one of the brightest souls around.  She is starting to heal in the safe space that they have created.  She is doing her work, going to therapy, breaking the childhood armor around her heart.

Oh man, she almost died having her first kid and lost her uterus.  She wanted a big family.  She is so sad.  But, I bet it turned out great didn’t it God?  Oh really?  Better than she every imagined?  4 more kids with the help of two gestational surrogates?  That is not at all how she planned having a family, but life rarely goes as they plan, does it God?

Wait, I’m going to be a mom to 5 kids?  Holy Cow.  Thank You that she is healing, so she doesn’t continue the cycle that her mother gave her.

She is a bit disconnected from her kids, but sees it and is working on it.  She is taking responsibility for her actions.  She is starting an authentic dialogue with her husband and children.

Look at Leigh’s blog.  She is sharing what she has learned and helping others.  Good for her!  That’s what we are called to do.  People are really connecting with her honesty.  God, she is using the unworthiness and feeling alone from her childhood to let others know “you are not alone” as adults.  This is beautiful.  This is what you want!  She is reframing her issues as blessings!

No way!  She enrolled at USM- your spirit school?

Look at her soar.  Leigh is writing her books, enjoying her speaking engagements, and hosting the joy filled show she always knew she would have.  Her light is bubbling out of her and sparkling glitter on the paths of others.  Her husband’s variety show is number one in the nation.

What God?  It’s time to go?  Wait, what else happens?!?  I’ll be back in 88 years?  You’re right, that really is just a snap of your finger.

You are about to tell me the part that everyone said would freak me out?  What is it?

When I get down there I won’t remember anything, not even this conversation?  This is an outrage, God!  How can you leave me?  Oh right, you’ll be with me all along.  I just wish it didn’t take me 30 some odd years to remember that.

Okay.  Okay.  I’m going. (3 deep breaths)

Here I go.  Don’t push me!  1 2 3

Jump and yell, “I am trailing clouds of glory!!!!!!!”

(contract.  hold.  slowly stand up, open eyes, blink slowly for a bit while looking around, and then cry like a newborn.)

And so it begins…

 

Leigh Koechner Parenting Expert, Speaker, Author, and Mother of Five, shares her take on how this life goes down. Find more of Leigh’s at www.absoluteLeigh.com