Just Cross The Road

Hey, you want to know a little secret? Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. One of those times is right now! I can clearly see that fear has had a hold over me this last month.

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photo by UnforgettablyAlina Flickr

Not sure if you have noticed, but I haven’t been posting as frequently as I used to, and lately when I do, it’s like I have been forcing myself to, just to stay a floatI have been scared to write because sometime I feel like if I don’t have a way to sound motivating or inspiring, I don’t have a purpose in writing. I feel like every post has to be this perfect post, even when inside I know it doesn’t.

Question: But how can I be motivating and inspiring when I’m not feeling motivated or inspired? Answer: I don’t always have to be! ANDDDD it’s not up to me to decide whether I am for someone else or not.

I know I’ve known that answer… but it’s still very hard to let go of wanting everything to be perfect sometimes. Anyone else ever feel that way? Like if things don’t go perfect then they will fail. One of the hardest things is KNOWING the answer, KNOWING the right thing to do, yet still being unable to let go or make moves. It’s a feeling inspired by fear! It feels like you’ve been injected with just enough anesthesia to be unable to move, all while watching your life go in the opposite direction.

But I try to just remember the word FAITH, which I have tattoo of, and how having faith is about letting go. I know that’s one of my biggest lessons in these moments. Letting go in those moments of imperfection. Trusting that even if I can’t grasp it, that someone else is learning and growing through my vulnerability.  And that’s part of my purpose here. To inspire others to grow and learn.

What’s funny is that we tend to look at this visions of what we think to be as “perfect” and we aspire to be like that BUT who is it that we actually connect with more? It’s those that show their imperfections and vulnerabilities (yep, that word again). Those that seem to be just like us. Those that make us see that we already ARE perfect, we just need to embrace it.

Having said that, even though I FEEL like I am not perfect in this moment, I am stuck and can’t write, I have nothing motivating and inspiring to say…I KNOW in this moment, I AM perfect. Maybe this moment of being truthful IS inspiring and motivating someone even though I don’t know it.

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I want to end this blog, take a couple weeks off, but when it comes down to it I know its out of fear. And over everything else I let fear control, this is one thing I refuse to be hindered. I know this blog is the birth of my dreams. The one thing that even in these moments of feeling stuck, I know by continuing to show up for you, even if inconsistently, is keeping my moving forward. Even if I am crawling.

 So I am staying committed, even if it’s just posting something one time a week, even if it’s not perfect…to write. Just write. Allow myself to FEEL imperfect and write anyways. To not always have the answers but move forward anyways. To not always see the path ahead but feel for it anyways. To feel fear and let go and have faith anyways. If I can do that here with my blog then I even when I can’t tell, I know I’m being uplifted in other areas.

As hard as it is, to post like this feeling as though I’ve done nothing but blab…feeling like this has no point…I’m going to do it anyways. I’m going to let go of the fear.

Randomly, it makes me think of the joke…”Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!” I want to re-word it and ask “How did the chicken get to the other side?…he let go, and he crossed the road!” No matter who you are…it doesn’t matter how, but the only way to get to the other side, is to cross the road!

If you are someone that finds it easy to take the next step even when you’re scared, I’d love to know what keeps you moving forward?… If you are someone that constantly gets haulted by fear, what can you do to let go today?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

thanks for listening and continuing to show up for me as I will continue to show up for you !

xoxo,

barista