Guest Post: Becoming Leigh

Leigh-Headshot-21Back at the end of March, we each did a presentation to a group of classmates that was a creative expression of how we were obtaining the information and skills we were learning in class. Now there is this wonderful spunky human being in my class that goes by the name of Leigh. She was in the group next to me doing her presentation and I remember wishing that I could hear what she was doing because she’s a very fun person so I knew it had to be great. Plus she was dressed in a tutu which is always awesome!!!

After our group presentations, one person was picked from each group to present in front of the entire class. Well I happened to be in Labor that day so I missed out on all the fun. I’m not sure if Leigh was one of the people who presented in front of the entire class but I saw that she had posted her presentation on her blog and wanted to share it. It reminds me of The Egg story I posted before.

And this ladies and gents is Leigh’s creative story about a Divine being getting ready to have a Human Experience.  Enjoy

 

Hello God, Divine Being #337512728 here.  I heard you wanted to see me?  What?  It’s my time?  I get to go shooting to earth trailing clouds of glory and begin manning my earthsuit?!  Awesome!  I am ready.  What earthsuit am I going to get?

Leigh? In Kansas?  Leigh, is that a boy or a girl?  A girl, ok.  But, Kansas?  Oh, she doesn’t stay long.

Where is she, I am ready to see her!

Oh, there she is!  She’s darling!  She’s so cute!  Her mother’s not  touching her.  She is completely neglecting her. Oh my, her dad is spanking her little 7 year old tush too hard.  He’s taking his rage out on her.  Look at her, she feels so alone.

Ok.  Let me think for a minute…her earth school curriculum is going to be… Unworthiness?  Am I right?  Yes! (celebration)  I knew I would get in on the first try.

God, I don’t mean to judge your work, but why do so many people get that curriculum?  Couldn’t you think of something more original?  I don’t get it; it’s like every time….

Okay, okay, I’ll focus.

There she is in 3rd grade.  She is fist fighting with Greg Hyde and David Bishop.  God, do something!  (pause) Oh, she beat them both up.  Is this the ‘all of life is a learning lesson’ theory?  Got it.

She’s in 4th grade and she just became Miss Jr. Overland Park at her local mall.  She is taking risks and being rewarded.  Good for her!

She’s in 6th grade.  She became the first girl president of John Deimer Elementary School!  She’s learning to over come her obstacles.

Jr. High; cheerleading, drill team, and volleyball.  High School cheerleading, drill team, she’s a good dancer.  She is really using the creative talents you have given her, God.  Look at her go.

She’s at the end of senior year and she loses her virginity at 18 to Bruce Oothout.  That’s because she thought that was the guy she was going to marry.  Glad that didn’t work out huh, God?

College…oh my.  Girls gone wild!  Drinking, sex, drugs and eating too much pizza.  She is running too fast.  Doesn’t she know she is better than that?  Oh wait… she is living her earth school curriculum of being unworthy.  In that case, she is doing a really great job.  But, please tell me she figures it out soon.  That’s hard to watch.

She graduated with a degree in Recreation and Leisure.  That gave her surgeon father a hearty belly laugh.  And she’s off; St. Thomas Virgin Islands, Guam, and she became a SCUBA diving instructor for Club Med, Tahiti?  God, I’m going to have a blast!

She’s settling down in Los Angeles – wouldn’t you know she ended up in the city of angels.  She is still partying hard and making out.

Look God, she is now 31, sick of being single, and is coming to you for help.  She is being so specific with her prayer.  Boy did you answer… David Koechner!  You must really like this girl to give her Dave, he is one of the brightest souls around.  She is starting to heal in the safe space that they have created.  She is doing her work, going to therapy, breaking the childhood armor around her heart.

Oh man, she almost died having her first kid and lost her uterus.  She wanted a big family.  She is so sad.  But, I bet it turned out great didn’t it God?  Oh really?  Better than she every imagined?  4 more kids with the help of two gestational surrogates?  That is not at all how she planned having a family, but life rarely goes as they plan, does it God?

Wait, I’m going to be a mom to 5 kids?  Holy Cow.  Thank You that she is healing, so she doesn’t continue the cycle that her mother gave her.

She is a bit disconnected from her kids, but sees it and is working on it.  She is taking responsibility for her actions.  She is starting an authentic dialogue with her husband and children.

Look at Leigh’s blog.  She is sharing what she has learned and helping others.  Good for her!  That’s what we are called to do.  People are really connecting with her honesty.  God, she is using the unworthiness and feeling alone from her childhood to let others know “you are not alone” as adults.  This is beautiful.  This is what you want!  She is reframing her issues as blessings!

No way!  She enrolled at USM- your spirit school?

Look at her soar.  Leigh is writing her books, enjoying her speaking engagements, and hosting the joy filled show she always knew she would have.  Her light is bubbling out of her and sparkling glitter on the paths of others.  Her husband’s variety show is number one in the nation.

What God?  It’s time to go?  Wait, what else happens?!?  I’ll be back in 88 years?  You’re right, that really is just a snap of your finger.

You are about to tell me the part that everyone said would freak me out?  What is it?

When I get down there I won’t remember anything, not even this conversation?  This is an outrage, God!  How can you leave me?  Oh right, you’ll be with me all along.  I just wish it didn’t take me 30 some odd years to remember that.

Okay.  Okay.  I’m going. (3 deep breaths)

Here I go.  Don’t push me!  1 2 3

Jump and yell, “I am trailing clouds of glory!!!!!!!”

(contract.  hold.  slowly stand up, open eyes, blink slowly for a bit while looking around, and then cry like a newborn.)

And so it begins…

 

Leigh Koechner Parenting Expert, Speaker, Author, and Mother of Five, shares her take on how this life goes down. Find more of Leigh’s at www.absoluteLeigh.com

Time Off

If you haven’t noticed, I did not post Good Deed Sunday, nor even  a late post yesterday. I have not been feeling too keen since Saturday and also been beyond busy. I have been feeling yucky in the stomach and just sort of nauseous. I thought this went out the window in the first trimester but feels like it’s back. Hopefully I am not getting sick.

I decided to take this week off for finding Good Deeds in the journal. This doesn’t mean I will not be mindful of random acts of kindness when and if the opportunities are available, I am just not going to commit to anything this week and take the pressure off from daily updates via Facebook.

I also do not know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or what, but for the last few days I have also just been feeling sort of down and somewhat defeated like I want to run away from everyone and everything but I have been reminded to surrender and let the spirit take care of all that I can not right now. SO I am being conscious of that.

I will update you on this last weeks deeds and how they went and communicate with you this Sunday (if not before) for the following deeds. The best part is, last week was RAOK week. RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS. But of course we try to make RAOK week a daily thing right?

wpid-20140209_183814.jpg2/9/14: BUY A NICE WATER BOTTLE so you will be less inclined to buy plastic bottles:
So I did not go out and buy a new water bottle although that was my intention. I did of course, clean off an existing water bottle that I love and will start to use that. For the most part, I do not buy bottled water often but I do drink water at work and use plastic cups so by bringing my own water bottle to work I can save on the plastic cups that I would be using.

BONUS DEED: LEAVE A BIG TIP:
On this day I was also able to fulfill an old deed from last week which was to leave a big tip. I went out to dinner with my son, to Chiles and I left the amazing waiter an 100% tip. That felt really good and I bet it made him smile.

2/10/14: PLAY FREEZE DANCE:
This one was fun. Like I previously said, I dance around my house a lot usually acting silly, so this one just added to the fun ness. I had my fiancé in control of the music while my son and I danced around the room. We would freeze when he stopped the music and often just laugh at each other. It was a nice short getaway outside the routine of dinner, homework, bedtime.

2/11/14: MYSTERY DEED aka (I forget exact wording) BRING YOUR CO-WORKERS A SURPRISE during the time of day you know everyone needs a pick me up:
I was unable to complete this one. My plan was to go to Jamba Juice during lunch and bring everyone back a some smoothie. But was unable to make it to Jamba Juice this day. I will try to do this before my last day of work though in two weeks.

2/12/14: scroll through your phone and CALL THE PERSON YOU’VE KNOWN THE LONGEST:
I actually completed this one the previous day, on 2/11. I did not count family members of course, just friends, and I called my long time friend Jessica. We have been best friends since we were 7 years old. Going on 23 years to be exact. The awesome thing is, we hadn’t talked in a while so it was something I was excited to do so I could catch up with her. She did not answer when I called but I was able to talk to her this last Sunday night and I get to see her this weekend. She lives in Northern California and I haven’t seen her since last April. So I’m excited to catch up.

2/13/14: BAKE WITH YOUR KIDS:
Usually I don’t have much time to bake during the week, rarely at all in general, but I made time this week just for that. I made some valentine cupcakes with my son. He got to do all the stirring and of course the best part of licking the spoon clean afterwards. That of course is always a favorite childhood memory. I made a short video but am unable to download it here. But the cupcakes came out wonderful.

2/14/14: BUY A BUNCH OF FLOWERS on your way to work. Give each one to a colleague you appreciate:
I actually completed this one on Thursday morning because most of my co-workers have Fridays off. I stopped at the grocery store that morning and bought a small bouquet of 6 orange roses and gave one to each of my co-workers including myself. It was a nice surprise and perfect way to kick off Valentine’s day.

If you remember from Friday’s post though, I was able to leave a few love notes on strangers cars. Hopefully they took the time to read them 🙂

2/15/14: Clean out your sweater drawer and TAKE EXTRAS TO CHARITY:
Saturday turned out to be a beyond busy day for me so I was unable to complete this deed BUT being that I am in nesting mode, I will make sure to do this one before the baby comes.

If you complete any deeds this last week, whether from my list or just your own, I would love to hear about them in honor of RAOK week.

Besides that, I had a maternity photo shoot this last Sunday and I have two baby showers coming up this weekend so I feel very excited about those. Only 6 weeks left and I’ll be a new mommy of two. Exciting and Scary all at once as I have no idea what to expect but of course you will be updated.

I will be resting this week and I hope you enjoyed your weekend and have a wonderful week!!!

xoxo,

barista

Good Deed Sunday 2/2/14 (Late Post)

So I have another late post for you. I had school all weekend so I really had no time that I could be on the computer unless it was cutting into my sleep. School also made it a bit harder this week in completing some of my good deeds because I was working on homework during the week which seemed to take more precedence.

The interesting part as I was preparing to write this blog and the deeds from last week, a piece of me really wanted to lie to you. I wanted it to seem like I completed all the deeds, completed the makeup deeds, and ended the month 31/31. It’s funny to notice that ego part that wants everything to seem “perfect, to not feel like I failed, to not feel judged. Then I come to the conclusion that the only person judging me is ME! I am judging myself in that moment. It’s like that quote “What others think of you is none of your business”…. I can not feel judged unless I am also judging myself. Especially when I DON’T know what others will or are thinking.

I know my intentions and my circumstances so there is no reason for me to feel ashamed. By lying, I would only be harming my self esteem by buying into the judgements that I placed on myself. So as I learned in class, one of the most powerful tools to healing is compassionate self forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for the judgements you place on yourself and others. So “I forgive myself for judging myself as failing…I forgive myself for buying into the belief that this process has to be perfect”.

So let’s get on to the deeds last week:

1/27/14: SAY GOOD MORNING TO YOUR CO-WORKERS:
This one was easy, because I do it everyday. I did make more effort to just say Good Morning to everyone else though too

wpid-IMG_2278.jpg1/28/14: MYSTERY DEED aka PUT A LOVE NOTE IN A LOVED ONES LUNCH:
So the loved one I chose never brings lunch to work so of course I made him a lunch this day and left him a cute little note with it. I left it on the counter as a surprise. Our little one tried t o ruin the surprise and tell  daddy to go look in the kitchen but daddy just thought it was mommy’s lunch. So I had to call him after I left and let him know the I made it for him.

BONUS:
Today I also completed the past deed of doing a TEn MINUTE MEDITATION. I completed the meditation in my counseling session.

1/29/14: DO A LITTLE DANCE AND BE SILLY:
I tend to complete this one a lot. Usually me and my son make up little dances and try to make daddy laugh. This time, my son was already sleep, so i just did a silly dance for the big boy. It included moonwalking so I bet you can just imagine.

1/30/14: LEAVE SOME HOMEMADE COOKIES AT YOUR NEIGHBORS DOOR:
So I picked this deed thinking that It would be easy to complete along with the other deed of making cookies and sharing. I have realized though that’s its not so easy for me to bake during the week so I may have to save these deeds for a weekend.

1/31/14: GIVE YOURSELF A PEP TALK:
This one was a good one for today because it was my first day back at school this month. I was also behind on doing homework and stressing about that, along with working and trying to get a lot of stuff done for a new person that I will be training. So although simple, my person pep talk was just telling myself to do the best I can, what gets done will get done, and let it go into the universe. PS: I got my homework back and got 200/200. YAY!

BONUS: I also completed the deed of BE MINDFUL of my please, thank yous, and you’re welcomes.

2/1/14: LET ANOTHER CAR TAKE THAT PARKING SPOT and smile and wave:
I picked this one for this day because I thought it would be easy since I have school and most people arrive at the same time. But when I arrived on this day there was no one there at the same exact time as me so really I had no one to give a spot to. The intentions were there but the opportunity was not. It will stay in my mind though.

and yesterday Sunday, If I’m sticking to the truth, I didn’t even pick a good deed. So there was nothing this day for Good Deeds to complete. Full day of school and forgot to look in the journal that morning.

SO FAR: this week with the bonus deeds, I completed 6 deeds still which is awesome bringing my count to 26 out of 33 deeds so far. AWESOME

THIS WEEKS DEEDS:

2/3/14: GIVE CREDIT WHEREVER YOU CAN

2/4/14: START A BIRTHDAY CALENDAR to help you remember to send cards

2/5/14: SMILE WHEN YOU TALK ON THE PHONE, it makes your voice friendly

2/6/14: bless your interruptions as an opportunity to TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND SMILE


2/7/14: MYSTERY DEED

2/8/14: LEAVE A BIG TIP
Continue reading

May Cause Miracles: Week 2 Part 2

After I had my lovely miracle on the evening of Day 10, I feel like they haven’t stopped since. I noticed myself all throughout the rest of the week and weekend creating miracles. The book does say that once you start witnessing miracles, it’s when you don’t that there’s something wrong.

Day 11 was self-gratitude day. Again always one of my favorite days because there’s such a great shift when you can fully recognize all in your life AND be thankful for it all. It brings you into the PRESENT. “I Am Grateful For This Moment”.

happy

This week I had to show SELF-gratitude.

I AM GRATEFUL:
1. That I get to see my son grow up
2. That I am a good friend
3. That I continue to work on my relationship
4. For my soul, my faith, my God, my Light, My Source, My Universe
5. That I help people when I can
6. For ALL my books, blogs, seminars, etc.
7. For my mind and it’s ability to think beyond
8. When I love, it’s forever
9. That I keep in touch with people close to me
10. That my family and friends value me.
11. My Life and my PURPOSE!
…and many more!!!!

This weekend I went away to Monterey/Carmel with some family and my fiance to check out wedding venues. The first day, which was Day 12, my fiance wanted to take our son whale watching so he could have some fun while we were there. We were going to do it Sunday morning before we head back to Los Angeles but we had some time on Friday when we got into town so we decided to go. I thought it might be cutting it too close because of an appt we had but he said it was only 2 hours so we would actually finish in time before we had to check out a wedding venue that evening at 4pm.

Well within the first hour of the trip, my soon-to-be mother in law got really sick and started throwing up on the backside of the boat. She was having the worst experience ever from being sea-sick. All of a sudden it was 3pm and we had JUST gotten out to where the whales were. There was NO WAY we were going to be back by 3:30pm.

My fiance asked the worker on the boat and he said no way the boat isn’t due back until 4:30pm. This meant we were going to miss our very first appt. I immediately got really upset. I went to call the venue and in my head was cursing my fiance for even deciding to set up this trip before our appt. I told him it was cutting it too close but he assured me it would be fine. Well it wasn’t. “Why did I listen to him?” “This was such a bad idea” “I KNEW this wouldn’t work out” “I can’t believe we are stuck on this boat and it’s all [my fiance’s] fault.” While that was running through my head I remembered the affirmation of the day which was “I Forgive Myself For Having This Thought. I Choose Love Instead”.

I immediately started thinking about how he just wanted to do this so our son would have fun. So we could all have a good time. He really didn’t know that the trip was this long since the guy that sold us tickets told us it was only 2 hours, not 3.5 hours. I began to feel grateful for his efforts. By the time I got off the phone with the venue, instead of being angry and cursing my fiance out I actually told him THANK YOU!!!

Today-I-Choose-Love

Fo me this was a big step because I will admit, I am very used to arguing and placing blame. This time I went up to him and said “Thank you baby for your efforts in trying to put this idea together”. After that I started getting sea-sick and had to sit with my head in between my legs the whole way back. My son even got sea-sick and threw up. Although the trip was NOT very eventful, we DID get to see some whales though so I can’t say it was completely a bust. In the end we all got laugh about it and we didn’t end the trip being mad at each other. A MIRACLE!!!! And to imagine, things could have ended quite differently if it weren’t for that simple shift in perception I actively chose.

Although I am entering Day 15 today, I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much in one post so I will add yet another part to week 2 for days 13 & 14 tomorrow and then we can go over part 1 of week 3 in a few days.

Until then, xoxo

barista