My List!

So remember the other day I wanted you all to make a list of things you wanted to do/change. My main goals are to take care of myself. Mind, body, and soul. I want to naturally just feel better and learn to love myself more. I want to be a better mother. Spend more quality time with my son and cherish every moment. I want to become a better partner for my fiance. Choose love first. I want to be a better friend. Be supportive and present. Be a better daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, etc. A better person for myself and all around and involved in my life. This is being a great contributor to society. Learn from others and inspire others to  learn from me. Live in my truth and become more and more my authentic self. That’s what it’s about. Figuring out who you are and living your word.

Here are 35 things that are on my list and it’ll continue to grow throughout the year:
(in no particular order)

1. Spend at least 5 minutes a day deep breathing

2. Juice every morning

3. Stop drinking alcohol for a year

4. Eventually Blog every day

5. Find consistent guest bloggers

6. Read more books (and finish them)

7. Be kind and affirming to myself (and everyone for that matter)

8. Work out 3 times a week or more

9. Go hiking at least once a month

10. Play more games with my son

11. Do a 24 hour water/juice fast once a month

12. Take my son to the park  more or have more playdates

13. drink at least 64oz of water a day

14. Eat siginficantly less amount of processed sugar and foods in general

15. Stretch in the morning

16. Tell the truth

17. Give up being right

18. Learn to meditate better and do it everyday

19. Try Kundalini Yoga

20. Call my mother at least 4-5 times a week

21. Get a facial and/or massage once a month

22. Be more supportive to my fiance

23. Keep my hair curly and enjoy it

24. Create more love, peace, abundance, happiness within myself.

25. Photograph 2 or more weddings

26. Keep a gratitude rock

27. Discover Los Angeles . Visit all the different places I can. Lived here on and off since 2004 and barely been anywhere.

28. Eat at different unique places.

29. Spend at least 1-2 days a week without watching TV

30. Start mentoring through “The Daily Love”

31. Volunteer for an organization

32. Run 3 miles without stopping

33. Send my friends/family birthday cards

34. Wake up at 6am to start my day during the week, by 9am on weekends

35. Surround myself with more positively inspiring people

 

What are 5 things that you want to do/change/become better at?? It’s time to get clear!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

xoxo,

barista

Reflect on the Journey

It’s the last day of the year!!! Some never thought we’d make it to see this day but we’re here at the end of chapter on another year with promise and hope for many more to come.

hindsight-rear-view-future-past-road-mirrorI like for everyone to take some time today and REALLY reflect on this past year and what has happened.

As I look back on 2012, I remember the feeling I had last January and knowing that 2012 was going to be a BEGINNING to awesome things and boy have I manifested that. I started this blog which is a huge step in the direction I want to go. I went to New York for the first time and with my mother of which we hadn’t been on a vacation together for a loooong time. I tried some things I’d never done before like zip lining and parasailing. Both also taking me out of my comfort zone due to my fear of heights. I got engaged to my love and the father of my child of whom I’ve been involved with for the last 7 years. I experienced freedom by setting some truths free and the outcome forced me to grow. We moved into a new house of which we absolutely love, in the process let go of some old and welcomed some new. I’ve been able to spend some amazing quality time with my family. We’ve decided that we want another baby. I created a model of an app idea I’ve been sitting on for two years, and met with some people to see what it’s going to take to make it. I got to meet and have a short conversation with a huge inspirator of mine, Mastin Kipp. I’ve learned more about living a healthy lifestyle. I’ve witnessed new beginnings for my loved ones around me be it babies, marriages, new boyfriends, new schools, new houses, new jobs, new perspectives. I’ve felt love, loss, anxiety, calm, peace, pain, happiness, joy, and a multitude of other emotions! I EMBRACE IT ALL. I am now equipped with knowing even more of what I want to create for myself and my future.

Sometime today, preferably before things get too wild, try to sit down in a quiet space and just go over all the events that took place this last 12 months. Were there things you did for the first time? Did you do something you’ve always wanted to do? Did you step out of your comfort zone? If so, what was the outcome? Did something terrible happen to you at all? What were the lessons learned? How have you become better? Can you see, even a little, how it fits the bigger picture? What were your moments of joy? Did you do anything to step closer to your dreams?

Years come and go and some of us never fully take the time to reflect on our journey. It is fufilling to take a rest break, look back at all the places you’ve been, painful, joyful, loving, or hard and just fully welcome who you are today because of everything. To let go for a second all the woulda coulda shouldas, the whatifs and maybes, and embrace ALL your experiences.

Tomorrow we can focus on our blank canvas of the new year. Today let’s be thankful for our journeys thus far!

xoxo,
barista

12/21/12 : The Threshold to a New Beginning.

well well well, today is December 21, 2012. The apocalypse every one has waited for. I assume if you are reading this, we are still alive or you are the one of few that survived. Or maybe this is the year 3026 and someone found my computer under dirt. Just messing.

Anyways… so everyone thought the world is going to end today. But guess what? we’re still here as I’m sure you can tell. The Mayan calendar couldn’t go on to infinity ya know. And of course there’s those patterns of all the ages…prehistoric, dark, ice, etc that all end in some catastrophe. Well guess what, I believe this all to be true.

I wrote a note on Facebook a while back talking about how maybe the world IS going to end. Since you are still reading this, maybe your perspective on what END means has to change and in that is the foreshadow to what lies ahead. A massive shift in perception. One meaning of the word END means “the last part or extremity”. Instead of a physical end or the end to humanity, maybe this is just the end to an era we have lived in. I think we are leaving an era of sleep and awakening to the dawn of a new day.

We awaken to see the potential of the new era awaiting our arrival. December 2012 is thought to be the closing of a chapter and now we are shifting into the power of consciousness.

Some people who believe in astrology believe that the dates 12/12/12 and 12/21/12 are closely related. That 12/12/12 is the opening of a gateway with 12/21/12 being the final walk-through. Supposedly we should have been aware of what was happening with us on 12/12/12 as it if a foreshadow of where you are headed as you cross the threshold. Dang, wish I knew this ahead of time! There are now new possibilities seeded within and from this day forward you will never be the same. Anyone experience a big change or something interesting happen between these dates? I would love to hear about it if so!

Welcome to the era of Enlightenment. Remember to wear your sunglasses.
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The “Golden Age” has begun. Our awareness is being expanded as you read. We are now entering a world in which we will come closer to our true being. We start to connect with our high source and understand our purpose here. It is said that throughout this transformation, eventually, everything negative will be forgotten about and instead the new world will be filled with love, peace, and happiness. We probably wont live to see this perfect world, and our children may never either, but as our lineage extends on and on they will come closer and closer to this time. Isn’t it amazing to think that it all starts with US.

When we are born, we are born with the energy of Love. It is as natural as the breath we take. But over time we learned to love ourselves less and less. Some even eventually were led to believe love is dangerous. Well that is coming to an end. We are coming to experience that love is NOT dangerous. We are burning all we “thought” to be true and welcoming all we KNOW to be true. Love is the ANSWER not the problem. It starts with the love for ourselves.

We are alive today during this time period for a reason. We are the beginning of a new chapter. The fifth dimension. I don’t know about you but this is awesome. There is a lot of power in our hands now. The threshold is here and LOVE is the password. We will re-learn to love ourselves. And through that, teach and inspire our children who will then continue to pass the great gift. And although we may not be around to witness the human race collectively living in a world of peace, love, and happiness, we can make sure that we INDIVIDUALLY can witness peace, love, and happiness before our end. The world IS our perception anyways right?

I mean havent you noticed more and more people becoming attracted to some sort of consciousness. How many positive quotes do you see/read daily? How many blogs have you come across? How many conversations have you had? More people interested in changing the world. More people interested in yoga and meditating. More people becoming more spiritual and less religious. It seems like more and more people are going through a process of discovering their purpose. It’s more than just a fad.

Going back to the pure heart we once knew is probably one of the hardest things to do because through that journey we must go through a great deal. In order for lessons to be learned we must suffer. Be ready… all your shit is about to come up! But don’t worry because you will pass through these times, you will learn the lessons faster and faster, and in the end you will become a greater being for the sake of humanity.

I ask you, from this point forward, pay attention! notice the shifts happening around you. Pay attention to what comes up for you in your life. What you can learn. Pay attention to this things brought you way and the love you attract. Pay attention to the conversations you see or have. Pay attention to the shifts you go through. Lastly, Pay attention to your intuition! As that is your higher self speaking to you. LISTEN!!! Because after today, your world as you know it will never be the same.

xoxo,

barista

The Daily Love: Paradox of Uncertainty

Had to re-post an article by Jacob Sokol wrote on The Daily Love yesterday. Being that I am 28 (almost 29, yikes) I am definitely at that point in life of really trying to figure out, What do I want to do? What is my purpose? and I felt like this article was a great motivator.

I know many friends, and im sure some of you, that are in this same boat. The most scary thing about trying to figure these answers out, especially at this age, is not knowing what lies ahead of you and being unable to see how you will “safely” get there.

Well the key word is “safe”. Something to ask yourself is, what has “safe” done for you so far? Most likely safe has gotten you to the place where you are now… anxious and uncertain.

Check out what Jacob has to say about this Paradox of Uncertainty (via The Daily Love).

jacob You ever feel a pressure to pick the *perfect* path in your life?

Technically the options are endless but it feels like there’s nowhere to start. How do you know what’s realistic and what’s a straight-up pipe-dream? You wanna make an impact, you wanna stack cake, and you wanna be emotionally rewarded. But what exactly do you need to do, and how exactly do you get started?

I know I’m not the only one who’s been paralyzed by this predicament. It can feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhausting – like we’re tirelessly treading water, waiting for the right job, mentor, or situation to suddenly appear. SPLASH!

As a generation, there’s this invisible yet immense weight on us to identify e-x-a-c-t-l-y what we wanna do with our lives and then spell it out in a 5-point-plan for achieving our 10-year-goals.

The seed for this mysterious pressure was planted way back when we ate spaghetti with our hands and wiped our faces with our shirts. The authority figz (mom, dad, and teach) asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up: A doctor, a lawyer, or a teacher perhaps? If you were me, you said a garbage truck, and were serious.

Picture it… we had the knowledge base of 7-year-old’s. We barely knew our alphabet and we probably couldn’t control our farts yet. You think we’re capable of accurately analyzing the emotional, social, and financial sacrifices required to pass our GREs or get into med-school? Compound that contorted notion with the reality that most professions which existed thirty years ago are now becoming obsolete endangered species (a shout out to the evolution of technology and the globalization of the economy).

Asking us the seemingly innocent question, “What do YOU wanna be when you grow up?” implies that we SHOULD know what we wanna do (or “be”). If you’re lucky you’ll hear, “You’ve got PLENTY of time to figure it out,” subconsciously continuing to stress the imperative significance of this passive-aggressive suggestion.

So is it really any surprise that by the time we reach our mid-20s we’re already going through a quarter life-crisis? Pop-culture paints the 20′s as the most glamorous years of our life, which just makes it even MORE frustrating for us, since we feel like “Why-the-f don’t I have ‘IT’ figured out already? What’s wrong with me?!”

And since we feel like picking the perfect path in our 20s will dictate our 30s, 40s, 50s – our entire life (!!!) – it’s no wonder why we’re paralyzed by possibilities.

It’s a poetic paradox: On one hand, we have ALL the possibilities in the world. And on the other hand, all those possibilities leave us feeling anxious and uncertain.

A few hours ago, I got off the phone with a girl who I coach. She was uneasy, bothered by the plethora of potentialities for her future and (of course) didn’t quite understand which was the *perfect* path to pick. Baffled, she asked me for some guidance.

The Existential Rat Race

Taking a deep breath, I momentarily reflected three years back on my own path. At the time, I was 24-years-old and having an allergic reaction to my life.

You see, I used to work for an awesome IT company as a computer network consultant in Times Square NYC. I made a nice living enjoying all the cliché token things a “successful” 24-year-old would want: A sweet apartment, a fun car, a fast motorcycle, a fashionable wardrobe, and fancy dinners with friends.

So WHAT was missing?

Enthusiasm! Behind the scenes, I led a life of quiet desperation and all the new techy toys in the world wouldn’t prevent me from waking up and feeling like, “Damn, I gotta go through THIS routine again today!?”

Questions like, “Who am I?” and “What’s my purpose?” marinated heavily in my mind. It was an existential rat race.

Fast forward to today, three years later, and my hero’s journey has had some remarkable turns. I’m living my purpose, doing *EXACTLY* what I wanna do, and, I’m getting paid to do it!

But if you would have sat down with the 24-year-old Jacob and asked him to imagine doing what the 27-year-old Jacob is currently doing, it’d be unfathomable.

Why? Because it was nearly unimaginable and COMPLETELY unrealistic. I hadn’t “leveled-up” my sense of reality yet. In other words, my sense of what was REALLY possible with life hadn’t been proven to myself BY myself.

Sure, I read lots of inspiring books and watched loads of (illegally downloaded) personal growth seminars on how to become a better person (I love you, Irony). BUT, it was inspirational entertainment. 90% of the time I was *watching* and 10% of the time I was *doing*.

You see, I hadn’t actually taken that stuff which was so fascinating and implemented it into my life – day after day – thus, not yet believing – rather, not yet KNOWING – it could be my reality!

There were a sequence of subsequent realities I had to get to, one by one, month after month, in order to be where I am today. I needed to defy the odds, one step at a time, before I could imagine the incredible possibilities for my future. (So do you.)

Well, where am I currently? The short answer: Coaching peeps on how to find their purpose and increase their quality of life.

But how did I get there when two years ago I didn’t even know what a life coach was? I fully immersed myself IN myself. I invested in myself, spending 1000′s of hours consciously doing the work I needed to in order to figure out how I could enjoy an optimal life with a deep sense of purpose. I threw my life over the fence of my fears, into the yard of my dreams, and then had the sensible response of “now I need to go get that!”

I had doubts, fears, panic attacks, and suicide contemplations. (Yes, all in the last three years.) I faced gossip, criticism, ridicule, and opposition. My family told me I was an idiot and old-skool friends subtlety evaporated.

Was it easy? Hell no. Was it worth it? Hell yes!

Last Sunday I interviewed the man who taught the most popular class at Harvard of all time. Our conversation was about happiness. And for the last 10 months, I’ve been having similar conversations with other world-class thinkers as I create A Roadmap for Young Adults to navigate the current challenges we face today.

What’s ‘A Roadmap for Young Adults’ you ask? Well, I know you’ve heard of Mastin’s The Daily Love EXTRAVANGANZA (which was produced by en*theos). Well, I’ve been working with en*theos since February 2012 to create my own extravaganza addressing the current cultural challenges of being a Young Adult in today’s world.

The relationships which have sprouted from the conversations for this event have been soul-boggling! I’m interviewing my heroes!

I’ve also been Mastin’s Teacher Assistant on 4 out of the 5 classes he’s taught this year. I’ve got some incredible mentors and a flourishing coaching business that helps other peeps create extraordinary lives, too. The list goes on.

Three years ago, there was NO possible way you could have convinced me that this would be my reality. I didn’t even know who these people were. I didn’t even know what a blog was. A life WHAT- coach?!

Before any of this could be my reality, I needed to step into uncertainty, trust my gut, invest in myself, and allow myself to follow myself. I needed to figure out how to live on purpose. And I have.

The Paradox of Uncertainty

“Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.” -Tim Ferriss

My advice to my client was straight forward: don’t worry about figuring it all out right now. But INVEST in YOURSELF. Do the work, the deep DEEP work of figuring out who you currently are and who you aspire to be in the future. Ask yourself the quality questions!

What would you do if you had unlimited time and money? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and everyone thought it was awesome? What qualities do you admire in others and how you can cultivate them in yourself?

And with a diligent work-ethic, and a L O O O O O O N G-term perspective in mind, focus on two main things.

  1. Service. How can you create massive goals of serving people (and trusting in the karmic process of reciprocity without the need for immediately getting gratifying results)?
  2. Your values. How can you *enjoy the process* of serving people – doing things that are in alignment with your values while cultivating and using your strengths to rock it?!

Success works in counter-intuitive ways.

The more we can serve others, the more we’ll be served. When we move toward our fears, they lose power over us. When we become vulnerable, we get stronger. And when we step into uncertainty, infinite possibilities present themselves!

For many of us, NOT attempting to predict our futures may be the better option. We can’t turn a corner until we arrive at it. And if we’ve never been down a road, it’s impossible to know what lies around its corner (sorry Google-maps, you don’t work here).

What we CAN do is find certainty in ourselves.

We can find certainty in knowing that when we rock our fundamental practices daily – our exercise, nutrition, meditation, gratitude, social relationships, creativity – we’ll be stepping into our higher-self.

We can find certainty in studying and cultivating our knowledge of self – our passions, strengths, ambitions, values, fears, triggers, purpose, and definition of success.

We can find certainty in dispelling our limiting beliefs by taking action in the face of fear.

We can find certainty in knowing there is a Uni-versal path – and when we show up PATIENTLY, PERSISTENTLY, PLAYFULLY, and DILIGENTLY, we are *bound* to be successful!

Don’t limit yourself to the perceived possibilities that currently exist in your life. Allow yourself the leeway to virtuously step into uncertainty so you can do what matters most to you, TRUSTING, that in the long run – “in the long run I say” – the best place you can play is in the paradox of uncertainty.

On purpose,

Jacob

Am I Making the Right Decision?

So as I think about conversations I have with friends and others either about my life or theirs, one  question always comes up and it “How do I know I am making the right decision?”. I think this is a common fear that most people have because the future is so uncertain. Today my cousin wrote “Insecurity is the root of all created circumstances that are perceived as issues” and I think this is a good thought to think about. What is the insecurity that is pushing the issue of not knowing if you are making the right decision?

Think about it this way…if someone else was making a decision for you and you weren’t sure if they were making the right one, then really you can say that you don’t trust their decisions right? So that means when YOU don’t know if YOU are making the right decision simply means YOU DON’T TRUST YOURSELF. Maybe somewhere in the past you’ve made decisions that didn’t turn out the way you liked them to, or you ended up wishing you had made a different one. Of course this can hinder your future ability to trust yourself.

So the question is, how do we get over this? Well you have to jump. You have to start trusting yourself. Of course sometimes it’s hard to keep in touch to the voice within especially when you have all the voices on the outside trying to push you in all directions as well. Your family wants you to this, your friends want you to that. Of course it’s hard to listen to yourself when all these other voices have a say as well. Everyone has different opinions and we all have the right to our own. No matter what anyone says though, even if it’s the person you trust the most, ONLY YOU know what is best for you.

In the past when you were making all those decisions you regret or that did not go the way you wanted, were those decisions you made based off of what was best or were they made off of what other people wanted from you, or even what you THOUGHT other people wanted from you? My bet is all those decisions weren’t even yours to begin with. And here you now are not trusting yourself because you were going off of what other people wanted. If anything you should learn from THAT. Learn that everyone elses decisions for you aren’t whats best for you, it’s what’s best for them. What makes it even more funny is that those people giving you advice aren’t even following it themselves even though it’s their advice.

 Everything you desire comes from within, which means the answer is ALWAYS there. There are two parts to your self. Your human mind that bases things off of ego and all the clutter going on around you, and your higher self which is connected to your source and is always working FOR YOU.

 All the clutter can cause you to disconnect from your higher self. Therefore making decisions seem harder than they are. You have to start connecting with your inner wisdom and know that it is the thing that knows what’s best for you.

How do you know when you are connected? Well when you are listening to your higher self, the messages you hear are supporting YOU. The answers aren’t worried about what other people will think or how they will feel about your decisions. How many times do you even argue with yourself because you are so worried about what others will think or feel. “Well I know I should do this BUT …”. Every time you are indecisive, you are closing off the trust towards your self. You are telling yourself that you don’t trust what your inner wisdom wants for you. Let me add this, if you are surrounded by people who love you and support you like your higher self does, they will trust you too and they will continue to be there for you. If not, you do not need them in your life. What easier way to weed people out. By making some decisions for yourself. Double whammy!!! Sounds pretty beneficial to me.

Know this too, nothing has to be permanent. The decisions you make now don’t have to be that way forever. If/when you feel that they are permanent, ask your self why? Is it because you are caring about how others will perceive your decision? What is right for you now may not be right for you in a day, a month, or even a few years. And guess what? You have the power to make a new decision then. When you trust and love your self, no one elses opinions matter. You KNOW you are making the right decision. You can look at your life and KNOW that you are responsible for the co-creation of it. And when things don’t turn out the way you think, you KNOW its becuase something better is waiting. Things will start to come easy and effortless to you because you KNOW what you want. Your decisions don’t make you a victim, it’s the decisions of others that make you feel powerless. Your decisions make you POWERFUL, They give your life MEANING, and guess what, YOU WILL BE HAPPY, YOU WILL BE FREE!

My challenge to you  is to START MAKING DECISIONS. No matter how small. Every time you come to that wonderful fork in the road, instead of sitting there not knowing which way to go and becoming a victim of “stuckness”, or having someone else tell you what to do, PICK A WAY and KNOW that it’s the right way for you. Ask your self, “Is this right for ME right now or someone else?” And even if there are obstacles, you are powerful enough to get through them. You don’t have to stop turn around and go the other way. Maybe you picked that road on purpose, so you could become stronger. What better way to get over the fear of trusting yourself then to TRUST YOUR SELF! Nike does have the best slogan… JUST DO IT!

We all have a unique purpose. We are more than our personalities, our problems, our fears, and our illnesses. We are far more than our bodies. We are all connected with everyone on the planet and with all of life. We are all spirit, light, energy, vibration, and love, and we all have the power to live our lives with purpose and meaning.” – LOUISE HAY

xoxo ,