Fuck It, Its My Birthday!

imageToday is my birthday. YAY!!! I took off work today and had a plan to just spoil myself all day. After all my Good Deed of the Day is to Treat Myself.

Originally my plan was to wake up and do some sort of exercise, maybe go hiking or activate my Dailey Method Living Social Coupon I bought. Then I envisioned going to Lake Shrine and doing some meditation and reading. Followed my coming home and taking a nice bath. After getting ready and maybe getting my hair blow dried at the Drybar followed by a mani/pedi before dinner with my friends tonight. Sounds great huh?

Well I woke up this morning, looked outside and saw nothing but fog. I felt like it instantly made me start to feel lazy as if I didn’t want to start what I was planning on doing. “But it’s gonna be so cold outside” my mind was telling me as my heart just wanted to enjoy the calm of the day. I started listening to my mind which didn’t put me in such a great mood.

I got up, went downstairs where my fiance was making me breakfast and my son was writing on my birthday cards. The energy was off so of course Law of Attraction was doing its job, as always, and the fiance and I started bickering all morning. GREAT! Originally I wanted to blame him for putting me in a not so good mood but I take responsibility for the energy I was putting into the universe. According to my calendar verse today, based on my favorite book Ask and It is Given,

“It is not possible for anyone else to create your reality”. Damn Right.

I drank my healthy veggie/fruit smoothie, ate some eggs and tater tots (my fav), said goodbye to everyone as they headed to work and school, went back upstairs and laid back in bed. My friend was texting me asking me what I was doing today and I was telling her my plans but also my fear that I was going to end up doing nothing that I wanted and waste time being lazy in bed. The whole time just looking outside at the fog feeling that same fog in my body. Looking at my clock, I started feeling miserable as if I was wasting time. It was already 8:30am.

“If I’m going to go hiking, I should go now, but I really want to take a warm bath, it’s so cold outside…. but is it a waste of time to take a bath BEFORE I exercise and get sweaty?…should i go hiking now or later. I havent been in a while, what if I can’t make it all the way. Ok maybe I’ll go to the gym. Or Dailey Method. But will people stare at me because I’m taking the class pregnant? I know pregnant women do it but I’m an out of shape pregnant woman…Ok ill go exercise then while I’m out go get my hair done then take a bath….wait will the bath ruin my newly done hair? Ok maybe I should skip the exercise, take a bath now then go do the other stuff. Wait but what if there’s traffic to get to Lake Shrine and back? hmm is there somewhere else peaceful but closer I can go to. Oh maybe I’ll walk around the lake…. but it’s soooo cold. I’m just wasting time now. I definitely won’t fit everything in now. Damn I bet I’m just gonna end up doing NOTHING that I want to do and just lay in this damn bed all day. Fuck the cold weather.”

All of this was consistently going through my head causing me to lose motivation and of course not feel good about myself. Then my friend text me and writes “Just do what feels good. You don’t have to think about it if you don’t want to.” and it letting those words sink in that gave me instant results. I said “U are right” and I got up and started running myself a warm bath. Something that I havent done in FOREVER!!! and now being pregnant is something that has been very much needed for myself.

“Fuck it if I don’t exercise today. Fuck it if I have to take a bath twice. Fuck it if it doesn’t go as planned. Right now I’m cold and a bath sounds nice so I’m gonna take one.” were the new thoughts going through my head. So I got in the bath, but on my SONGS FOR THE SOUL playlist and enjoyed it for an hour. While I was in the bath I get a text from my fiance telling me that I had a pregnancy massage, pregnancy bath, manicure and pedicure booked at 1:15pm at Burke Williams. Ask and It Is Given.

See, the second I listened to my heart and let go of the fear, my resistance wall went down. My new positive energy was set free into the Universe which in return, I was given EXACTLY what I wanted today. I hadn’t even told my fiance any of my plans. Maybe I won’t exercise today, I won’t get to Lake Shrine, but guess what, I’m taking responsibility of my reality , soooo…. FUCK IT! I’m filling my day with other things that make me feel good, including writing to you and that my friend is a TREAT!

As I was looking in my makeup drawer right before I started to write this blog, I randomly found some birthday cards from last year along with a piece of paper I had written some notes on, I assume from maybe an online seminar I had listened to. One of the notes said:

“No matter how much we work on the physical body, that doesn’t lead us to having the right mindset and consciousness of LOVE. It can actually promote the opposite. Your perception has to change first. If we see ourselves as perfect as we are then we use our positive thoughts to transform us vs the other way around.” Damn right 🙂

Today, in honor of my birthday, I would like you to just say “FUCK IT”. Don’t buy into the negative thoughts in your head. Think good, and do what makes you feel good. Let go of the fear, welcome the sounds of the heart, break the resistance wall with a sledgehammer and watch the Law of Attraction do it’s job, returning you with the ever flowing manifestations of your powerful self.

Most importantly TREAT YOURSELF today!

Gotta jet to the Spa now and get pampered. I’m not even re-reading this before I post. Fuck It! Happy Birthday to Me!

xoxo,

barista

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