My Truth: How I Learned To Honor Myself

So it’s 10:30pm and I’ve figured out that this might be the time I have to write posts for the time being. AFTER the baby goes to bed. Hopefully I can get back to writing more frequently.  I don’t like waiting so long before talking to you.

So this last month has been extraordinary for me in so many ways. It all started with my classes last month. It was a very powerful weekend for many people and things have just been shifting a lot for me and others. Everything that weekend flowed together so perfectly. My whole path started to make sense and things just really hit home for me.  It started at the Friday night class on May 2nd.

We had to do a trio conversation in which we talked about what the hardest thing  has been for us during the program so far. I talked about how I have had a hard time “DOING” the work. Implementing the practices. Practicing the skills. Really learning how to walk that talk. I mean this is one of the main reasons I decided to go to USM. To have the experiential practice that would catapult me forward on this path I have been on during the last 6 years. And here I was learning all of this amazing stuff, and I would come home on a peace high for a few days but then I would dump my folders and books to the side until it was time to prepare for school again 3 weeks later. Not really staying mindful daily about how to keep the work going.

Reading books and blogs and going to seminars had only worked so much for me. I have been able to develop a huge  passion for my spirituality and purpose but really felt lack in the “DOING” area. Sometimes I would feel really motivated and empowered to stand in my integrity but most of the time, I can admit, I was just intellectualizing it all and not really connecting on an emotional level for myself. Helping others was great but doing the work myself was a lot more challenging. Going through months and months of class and witnessing people’s lives changing right in front of me was starting to make me jealous. Started making me wonder if I was ever going to change or keep wasting time by not “DOING” the work.

In one of the next trios I had acknowledge myself. I acknowledged myself for sitting in the chair. For being in that classroom. Sometimes I would be in class and it would just hit me that “I’M HERE”. I’m doing it. I had heard of USM three separate times before I decided to check it out. When I looked it up online it was in perfect timing because there was an intro meeting THAT week. I thought of a couple of excuses of why I wouldn’t be able to go but I felt the fear and went anyways. I immediately felt the connection and knew this was the place for me because it was exactly everything that I am passionate about. It was the opportunity to really get pushed into DOING. And get my Masters in the process. What a bonus!

I then made a million excuses for why I might not be able to go. I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford it. Plus a million others. BUT I went through with it. I felt the fear and I did it anyways. I had to really acknowledge myself for that. Usually fear makes me turn the other way but this time I dove straight in and it all has worked out perfectly.

After 5 years of wanting to go back to school, here I was. And not just any school. School how I always imagined it would be. I love this school so much that I was in class the weekend of my due date. I was having contractions in class and STILL participating in trios (until of course they got too painful and I had to leave to give birth). THAT’S how dedicated I am to becoming a better version of myself to serve the world.  I almost took that weekend off until I realized there was no place else I would rather be. What beauty to have the loving energy of my classroom surrounding my child right before his debut into the world.

During the Sunday class is when everything just hit home. There was a surprise waiting for us as we entered. I can’t spoil it for when anyone reading this decides they want to attend USM in the future (which I promise it’s the BEST thing you can ever do for yourself). But what I will say is that this SURPRISE was absolutely amazing and so so powerful. I was moved to tears and it really just hit home that I AM HERE! I am right where I need to be. It hit me that Year 1 is only the beginning.

Year 1 is the preparation for the best yet to come. Year 1 is where my hands are supposed to get dirty. Where I am supposed to go through a ton of emotions. Get mad at myself. Get mad at my process. Get mad at my ego. Get mad at my job and my friends and my family. I dont doubt this will continue to happen, probably more intensified, in Year 2 but its so I could learn how to love and appreciate it all. The process is the beauty of it all. I was realizing that Year 2 was where it was really going to begin and I was perfectly in a space of being able to trust my process and timing.

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After our surprise the next trio we had to express gratitude to those who have helped us on our path. The first person that came to mind was my boyfriend. If you personally know me and are really close to me, then you know that I have on and off again issues with my boyfriend. If you are in my class at USM and have done a trio with me, you know that I have on and off again issues with my boyfriend. I am not going to cookie cut it for the sake of looking good, we have had issues for a really long time and so many times I have wanted to call  it quits or have tried to only get back together again and repeat the process over again.

I will admit, my relationship is also another reason I am at USM. As I said, I want to become a better person to better serve the world and in that includes being able to better serve ALL my relationships, the one with my boyfriend being most important. I also knew though that learning everything I am learning, and by really stepping into my true authentic self, I was also risking the relationship. I was risking the possibility that we wouldn’t make it through. I was risking the possibility that I could lose him. And as I write this, maybe that’s been the hard part about the DOING. I had been afraid of losing what I was used to. I had been afraid of being uncomfortable. But trust me, If you really want to step into your true authentic self, you can NOT be afraid of losing anything. What you have to gain is so much more powerful.

Looking at my relationship though from a place of gratitude, especially having gone through the feelings I was going through from the weekend, gave me a VERY different perspective of my path. I won’t go into the connections I saw in past relationships but what I will say is that over the years, most intensly in the last two, I have had a VERY strong calling to honor my Self (Self with a capital S meaning my Soul)  and step into my truth. Two of the qualities I am working on are Vulnerability and Authentic Expression. I had a hard time being vulnerable, especially with my boyfriend, and a hard time authentically expressing myself because of the fear of getting into an argument (which happened a lot with us).

I have done multiple meditations and insights that always have led me to the same answer of “BE VULNERABLE, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. TELL HIM HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. CHOOSE LOVE”. I have had ample opportunity to do so and almost always I chose to ignore. Let me tell you, you can only ignore the whispers for so long before it becomes a yell. Over the last two years that is what happened. HONOR YOUR SELF. HONOR YOUR TRUTH. HONOR YOUR VULNERABILITY. HONOR YOUR AUTHENTIC EXPRESSION. CHOOSE LOVE. I’ve heard it over and over and over.

The first time I remember hearing this whisper was during my last long-term relationship ten years ago. I had been unhappy for a long time but instead of honoring my feelings and expressing myself, I waited for things to get bad so I could just leave without feeling guilty. And  it worked. I have tried to do that in this relationship a bunch of times but the beauty in this situation is that we have kids together. The Universe wasn’t giving me the easy way out this time. THIS is the time the lesson is going to be learned. I would want to leave but every time I couldn’t leave because I KNEW I hadn’t expressed myself. I knew I hadn’t been DOING the work. I knew that there was a possibility that things could be different if I would just HONOR MY SELF. But I also knew there was also a possibility of loss.

Thinking about this in my trio, about this guidance being yelled at me over and over for the last two years, I realized that if it were not for my boyfriend and how he is, or how I perceive him to be I should say, If it weren’t for how we act and react with each other, I wouldn’t be in a place to where I am being called to honor my Self. I wouldn’t be in a place of opportunity to step into my true Self. To step into my vulnerability. To step into my Authentic Expression. To step into the LOVE that resides in me. Its because of that, that he is perfect for me.

I would get mad at myself a lot for how I would respond and react in certain situations. I wanted so badly to change but had felt like there were no results. If it weren’t for my boyfriend, and all the boyfriends before him, ALL the relationships in my life, and how I perceive it all to be, the issues that come up for me, how I respond and react I wouldn’t be called to change. I wouldn’t be called to really step into my full Self. So really, I thank everyone.

I was REALLY realizing that everything has happened the way it has because THAT is the way I would learn how to become the real me. Issues were mosy present in my boyfriend because he was the closest to me. He mirrored myself perfectly. We all learn in different ways and we attract to us the situations that aid in our learning of lessons and this was my way. So what had come from that realization was nothing but pure and honest gratitude. Gratitude for my boyfriend for being who he was and being with me the way I was. If it weren’t for our relationship, I could not say that I would be where I am right now and for that I am grateful.

Gratitude helped me shift my view. Everything came together in that moment. I realized that yes here I am at USM and I have this great opportunity to learn so much about myself and others, I need to DO USM. This is the chance I have longed for. Take advantage and DO the work. DO the skills. DO the practices. I outlined my ideal relationship and now it was time to DO the steps that would take me on my way. I felt more empowered then I had ever felt before to HONOR MY SELF.

That weekend my boyfriend and I had argued (such perfect setup by the Universe) and usually when we argue, it feels very vulnerable expressing myself to him, especially in any loving type of way. Until then, Vulnerability had not been my strong suit. That Sunday I got the urge to call him just to tell him I Love You. Sounds silly and maybe so simple for others, but to do that in the midst of an argument, especially when I was feeling defensive, was a very big deal. I felt the fear but I also saw the opportunity for me to step into that vulnerability and authentic expression. So I got out my phone called him and said “uhhh so ummmm i just called ummm because, umm i just wanted to tell you that I love you”. Of course he responded very lovingly and it was THAT phone call that changed our relationship.

We started talking about our argument, I listened with my heart instead of getting defensive. I HEARD him and I empathized with his feelings. This led us to stay in a very loving place when I came home which then led us to a very open and honest conversation about our relationship. Where it was and where we want it to be. It led for more opportunities for me to be vulnerable and express my truth and HONOR MY SELF.

My teacher has always said something along the likes of, “If your calling is to be courageous, you won’t wake up one day all of a sudden courageous. The Universe will provide you with opportunities in which you can choose to display courage.” This time instead of running away, I chose to step into it and the response was wonderful. I chose to be vulnerable. Let me just say we have just made it a whole month without fighting. If you really know us, you know that’s a miracle. There have been little spats here and there but nothing like they once were. And when there have been little spats, we have been really quick to enter our loving and dissolve them. I have to continue to chose vulnerability and authentic expression. Most importantly I am aware of my self judgements and compassionately forgiving myself for them. Now instead of asking myself “Why am I still in this relationship?” every time I feel uncomfortable, I now ask myself “What opportunity is my soul presenting to me?” and let me tell you, it makes the world of difference.

You see, it all started with GRATITUDE! If it weren’t for EVERY SINGLE THING that has happened in your life, you would not be the YOU that you are today. And YOU are a wonderful, powerful, being of love. GIVE THANKS to all that has presented itself in your path. You can have the life of your dreams, give thanks and DO the work.

I want to hear from you. What is something you want to DO that has challenged you? What quality would it take for you to step into your greatness? How has the universe given you the opportunity to step into that quality? How can you acknowledge yourself RIGHT NOW? Who can you give thanks to in aiding you on your path?

Leave me your comments in the section below.

You are loved.

xoxo,

barista

 

 

 

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Be Thankful

Good Afternoon and Happy Thanksgiving!

BeThankful

Did you know that the fastest highway to feeling good is to feel Thankful? When you are in a state of Thankfulness/Gratitude/Appreciation, you are in your highest alignment, which allows you to feel the most connected to your Source. The more you find to be thankful for, the better you feel. The better you feel, the more you want to do it. You then begin to enter this cycle of positive thoughts and feelings becoming more and more connected to that of your True Self.

Take a look around you right now, wherever you may be reading this post. Notice something that pleases you and hold your attention on this object/person. Think of all the reasons you are thankful for it. Focus on how useful it is. How beautiful it is. How wonderful it is. The longer you focus on this object or person, your feelings of gratitude will become stronger.

As I type I am noticing my perfume in front of me. It is my favorite perfume. I just sprayed some on my arm. The smell is so sweet and soft. It makes me feel gentle and pretty. It was hard for me to find, so its presence makes me happy. I get compliments when I wear it and it feels nice knowing that its smell makes other people feel nice too. I’m remembering the time when I first sampled it and shared it with someone and they loved it like I did.

Something as simple as the perfume in front of me just brought me to a place of feeling good. It brought forth good memories I have about wearing it and it currently raised my thought vibrations to that of Love, Joy, and Optimism. Qualities that are centered in my core being. I just picked something in front of me to experiment with. I won’t lie, at first it felt silly wondering how perfume would make me feel better than I already was, but the longer I focused on it, the more things came to mind and the higher I felt my vibrations rise.

 

Now look around and choose something else to focus on and continue the process. You will notice after time, it gets easier and easier to appreciate all that is around you. The more you feel good about things, the more good things will flow to you allowing you to continually feel grateful and stay in alignment with your Source and those same qualities that are in your core being.

Sometimes we can hold this space of resistance when thinking about what we want present on our lives. Resistance is that place in which you doubt your power and ability to co-create the life you wish to have. It’s that resistance that blocks what you want from coming to you. The resistance that you hold brings forth thoughts and feelings of frustration, impatience, blame, and unworthiness. All qualities on the opposite realm of what I assume you want to be feeling. But guess what, while you are thinking and feeling those things, you’re just asking the Universe for more of it.

This practice of appreciating allows you to lessen the resistance you hold in your life by allowing you to focus on the Present. You aren’t trying to change or fix something. You aren’t thinking about what you don’t have. You aren’t resisting what you want in the future. You are simply creating thoughts and feelings of Love and Joy for what you have right now, in turn asking the Universe for more of those thoughts and feelings. This will end up lessening your overall resistance because as you become accustomed to feeling good, you’ll then be able to recognize when your vibration changes to thoughts and feelings of resistance and/or feeling bad giving you the opportunity to choose the vibration you WANT to feel. The more you practice and the longer you stay in this feel good place, the faster and faster your awareness will become.

This practice of being Thankful and finding things to appreciate is one that you exercise daily. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want you to make it your objection to go through the day noticing all around you and thinking about what you appreciate. Once this practice becomes your intention you will notice that your day will be FILLED with things to appreciate. As the day moves forth, your thoughts of gratitude will start to flow through you naturally. By the end of the day just witness how happy you will be.

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If you do find yourself feeling defensive throughout the day from an outside source, just remember you have stepped out of that feeling of appreciation and let the feelings of defense take over. You have no control over what energy is being directed AT you, only the energy you are directing outward. If you start to feeling defensive or angry, you have begun to direct that energy outward. The positive thing is that when you are in a state of feeling what you do not want, then it allows you to become more clear of those feelings you do want which allows you to refocus that energy and bringing gratitude back into your awareness.

As I end this post, I just want you to know, I am thankful for YOU! I am thankful for the time it took you to read this post. I am thankful for the posts you have read in the past. I am thankful for the being that you are EXACTLY how you are right now. I am thankful for the moments that led me to you and you to me. I am thankful for your life and contribution to the world by being who you are. I am thankful for the person you are intended to be. I am thankful for the feelings you feel, the thoughts you think, the experiences you experience. Without those things how they were back then and how they are right now, you wouldn’t be you. You are on a road back to Love, back to your Source, and it takes everything you’ve been through, everything you’re going through, to get there on time. I am thankful for the ever-loving beautiful essence that I know resides within. Without YOU there would be no ME! We are one!

One love.

xoxo,

barista

I Am Grateful For….

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50 Things I Am Grateful For Today (in no particular order)

1. Being able to wake up

2. My hot shower

3. This sunny day

4. The garbage man for picking up the trash

5. Seeing my neighbor meditating on his porch

6. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

7. Eating breakfast with my son

8. The food in my fridge

9. Being able to write in my blog

10. The lovely people that encourage me to follow my dreams

11. My fiance’s hard work

12. My hair gel

13. Having such a nice house to live in

14. The beautiful backyard

15. The pool guy and the gardeners

16. My car that gets me where I need to go

17. Having a job

18. The smile on my son’s face

19. My generous giving fiance

20. My cousin Shelby’s wonderful video she made of our cruise

21. Being able to call and talk to my mother

22. Birds chirping

23. My comfy bed and pillows

24. My gym membership

25. Target

26. Being able to look at pictures of my friends and their lives

27. All the babies being born

28. Having medical insurance

29. Clean clothes

30. The bougainvilleas growing outside

31. The love I feel for those around me

32. Snacks throughout the day

33. My mind and its ability to think the way it does

34. My perspective on life

35. My spirituality

36. God

37. Quiet time

38. Playing sports with my son

39. Watching my son learn and grow everyday

40. My engagement ring

41. My vitamins

43. Being healthy

44. My pink nail polish

45. Knowing what my passion is and knowing I will never settle

46. The Daily Love

47.  Books, books, book

48. People that inspire me

49. Hands Free Mama blog

50. Feeling my heart beating

And tomorrow will be a new day!

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What are 5 things you are grateful for today??

xoxo,

The Barista

10 Random Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment

348641I have this little book that sits on my coffee table in the front room. It’s called “HOW NOW: 100 Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment” by: Raphael Cushnir. Aside from the title reminding me of the movie Anchor Man,(Howwww Nowww Browwwn Cowww), with everyday hustle and bustle, planning for the future, reminiscing the past, we can forget the most important moment…NOW!

Without enjoying NOW, does anything else really matter? We get so stuck in routine, our minds constantly going from here to there, that even learning HOW to enjoy NOW can be a great task. In this book are simple things to do that will give you a sense of presence in the present moment.

I won’t share all 100 ways, but I opened the book randomly to ten different tasks. Here’s HOW:

10 Random Ways To Celebrate The Present Moment

1. NIGHT SKY There’s an aspect of being that comes out only at night, when we’re able to place our usually overwhelming human dramas in the context of the infinite universe.

The Practice:

Choose a clear, starry night and an hour when most of the world is fast asleep. Make sure you’re warm and comfortable as you lie on your back and watch the dark sky shimmer and twinkle. Use this practice to contemplate the enormity of existence and the eons of time that have passed and are yet to come. From the vantage point of this truly universal perspective, what does the present moment feel like? How does this moment inform or enlighten the ones in your everyday schedule?

2. SHARE A HARD TRUTH Telling the truth when we feel vulnerable is one of the hardest things to do. We might fear rejection, abandonment, disapproval, disappointment, rage, hurt, or just the raw exposure that’s an unavoidable part of the process. Yet almost every time we are willing to tell a hard truth, we grow and deepen in the presence, no matter the response. The energy we previously locked up to maintain a false front is now freed to uplift and enlighten us.

The Practice:

Think about various people in your life – family, friends, coworkers, and community members. In what relationship have you been bottling up a hard truth? This truth may be about something you’re feeling or not feeling, or about a part of the relationship that isn’t working for you. Look at the list of fears in the first paragraph. Are you holding back due to one or more of those fears? Are you willing to experience that fear and still tell your hard truth? If so, pick a time and place where both you and the other person have the best chance of hearing each other without blame or recrimination. Once it’s all over and the dust has settled, notice whether you feel lighter.

3. BE PASSIONATELY AVERAGE – Striving for excellence is how we change, grow, and reach our full potential. But since we can’t excel at everything, it’s also how we become self-critical and perfectionistic. Urging ourselves toward unreachable perfection robs us of the ease and spontaneity that are the hallmarks of the NOW. But exulting in activities we enjoy, with no intention of great achievement, is a foolproof perfectionist cure.

The Practice:

Are there pursuits you enjoy but can’t do well? Or ones that you think you’d enjoy but avoid due to lack of aptitude? Pick one or two and pursue them with complete gusto. Perhaps that means salsa dancing with two left feet, bowling a record setting series of gutter balls, knitting sweaters with lopsided patterns. Whatever the pursuit, perform with the intention of celebrating your mediocrity rather than cringing at it. If and when a cringe does occur, laugh yourself through it and keep going. If possible judgement by others makes the practice too daunting, do it with a friend who is willing to be just as goofy.

4. PLANT SOMETHING – In every moment there is a birth, growth, decline, and death. This cycle plays out on levels from the molecular to the universal. Within a human life, it transpires physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Shepherding this cycle  for another life form helps us attune ourselves to its constant presence.

The Practice:

Purchase a packet of seeds for a plant you’d like  to grow. Choose a plant that’s either annual or perennial so you can experience all aspects of it’s life cycles within the passage of a few seasons. Follow the directions for planting and tending it. View the plant for at least a minute once or twice a week. If the plant survives, watch it for times of steady progression, plateaus, and sudden spurts of growth. If the plant doesn’t make it, try to determine what’s responsible for its demise. Then plant another seed and so your best to help it thrive.

5. BEGIN – In the trance of habit and daily routine, it’s easy to miss the miracle of existence that is continually unfolding. One way to reconnect to that miracle is to consciously bring new projects and activities into your life. Whether tiny or grand, every venture you begin provides a fresh invitation to savor the NOW.

The Practice:

Make a list of some endeavors that you’d like to begin. This list can include an array of choices, such as a  new friendship, an herb garden, a dance class, a journal, a book you’ve always wanted to read, or a more honest way of communicating. Your selection can also be internally oriented such as paying more attention to what you feel or focusing on what brings you joy. Next, scan the list for something you can begin RIGHT NOW. Do so, and allow yourself to bask in it’s birth. Then keep the list nearby and make frequent beginnings an ongoing part of your life. Refresh the list often as you grow and change.

6.INTENTIONAL DREAMING – Dreams usually provide more question then they do answers. Are they a stress response? A secret code? A window to another world? There’s one way, frequently unacknowledged, to penetrate the puzzle. Through the process of intentional dreaming, we can bring our conscious and unconscious minds together. The result creates not only an expansive sense of presence, but also powerful inner guidance.

The Practice:

For one week, keep a notebook by your bed. Each night, before going to sleep, think about an aspect of your life in which you’d like some guidance. Then ask your unconscious to provide you with a dream about that topic, and make it one that you’ll remember. If you wake up from a dream in the middle of the night, write it down before returning to sleep. If you recall it in the morning, make sure you write is down before beginning your day.

7. SERVE YOUR COMMUNITY – The usual pitch, when it comes to volunteering, is that it’s appropriate to give something back. We’re called upon to serve as a fundamental responsibility. What this pitch obscures is that service is actually a privilege. Whether in a soup kitchen, battered women’s shelter, or Little League, service opens our hearts, connects us to the world, and fills the present moment with meaning. While service often provides great assistance to those in need, it foremost beneficiary is almost always the ones who serve.

The Practice:

Find a few hours a week for service. Choose a location or organization that you feel strongly about. Look for a position that takes advantage of your strengths or one that involves a refreshing change of pace from your usual work. Since the opportunity to make a contribution is a privilege, treat everyone you meet with appreciation.

8. INNER SMILE – Feeling joyful is not necessary for presence, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to induce it. Joy creates an almost instantaneous  sense of expansion – an inner smile that’s like a warm bath. Some call this warm bath “flow” or “spirit”. Experiencing it connects us to ourselves and to everyone and everything around us.

The Practice:

Think about someone or something that you love. This could be a child, a place in nature, or a favorite memory. Whatever you choose, make sure that just reflecting upon it creates an automatic smile. Then surrender to that inner smile. Let it light you up. Feel it spread through your body and even beyond it, uniting you joyously with your surroundings.

9. CONSCIOUS EATING – How many times have you craved one of your favorite foods, waited all day till you could have it, and then experienced no real enjoyment because your mind  began wandering even before the first bite? Such “absent eating” is the norm, but it doesn’t have to be

The Practice:

For a week, stay entirely focused on the experience of eating through at least part of each meal. This includes smelling, tasting, savoring, chewing, swallowing, and pausing between bites. When your mind drifts, as it inevitably will, avoid any self-criticism and just gently return your focus to the food in front of you.

10. BESTOW GRATITUDE – In the words of William Blake, “Gratitude is heaven in itself”. Just the experience of feeling grateful can connect us to a level of loving presence that’s as warm an d soothing as its profound. But the bestowing of gratitude is even ore heavenly. It creates a feedback loop of joy as long as you let it.

The Practice:

Think of one or more people for whom you’re deeply grateful. Be specific about why tehy inspire your gratitude. Once you’vev allowed yourself to exult in that gratitude, go ahead and share it. Don’t ask for anything in return from those you thank, except that they receive your offering.

 Witness how celebrating the NOW can make you feel more alive!! TIME TO GO CELEBRATE!!! Which of these 10 can you practice today? This Week?

xoxo,

barista

May Cause Miracles: Week 6 Part 2

imagesCAQRU0YXI know its been a little while since I wrote my last May Cause Miracles post. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to work on following through. I have noticed that when something is coming to an end, procrastination sets in big time and it takes me forever to actually finish, if at all. This happens a lot especially when reading books.

Day 39 was about Gratitude to the World. My favorite quote from this chapter is “when you stop trying to make the world serve you, then you can serve the world”.  Gratitude is very important in these processes because it becomes very easy to focus on the negative things around you versus the good things you are thankful for. “I am grateful for my new perceptions  of the world”.

For this evening exercise I had to write a gratitude letter to someone who has greatly affected my life. “By charing your gratitude with others, you inspire them to carry on their sacred path. Shining light on the accomplishments of others brings more light to the world”.

My letter was to my fiance, Justin. I can admit, and I’m sure he could tell you, I don’t do enough focusing on the great things he does for our relationships. So I wanted to take the opportunity to do so. I wasn’t going to share it, but here goes (also will be his first time reading):

Dear Justin,
I just wanted to let you know because I don’t express it enough….Thank You! Thank you for loving me. For always thinking of me. For being thoughtful and always there. For listening to the things I like and love and showing up. For always planning amazing stuff and surprising me. Even though I don’t like surprises I appreciate the effort behind them. For keeping a spark alive even when I don’t give back like I should. Thank you for loving me even when I’m crazy, when I wake up with wild hair, and can be annoying. Thank you for even the hard times because it’s those moments that are making me grow. Forcing me to grow even though you may not realize it. Sometimes I don’t realize it either. I know I don’t always give back in the same ways you give to me but I want you to know I do notice it, and I DO appreciate it. I love you for being that guy. I’m trying and focusing on being the best I can be so in return I can be the best for the relationship. Thank you for the patience. I love you!
Love, Ashley

After gratitude day comes the day for forgiveness. Forgiveness is always huge because it allows you to let go of things that can hindering the possibility to effectively move forward. It’s a huge cause of fear and leads to resistance when it comes to choosing the love path.

“I forgive the false projections I have placed on the world” was the affirmation for Day 40. On this evening I had to write another letter, this time one of forgiveness to a person or organization I have been resenting. It’s interesting because my letters of gratitude and forgiveness were to the same person. This one is a little more personal to both parties involved so I will not be sharing it, but it was a little enlightening to write the things I had held on to. To look at how those fears have held me back.

The biggest thing was to choose to see love instead of the false projections. The false projections are the surface of the behaviors I was resenting whereas love is what’s deeper inside. The truth I know is there and was empowering to commit to see the truth versus the fears. Something I have to continue to remind myself, especially when shit seems to hit the fan 🙂

The book is a “40 day” guidebook but to complete the week there is actually 42 days. Day 41 is about fully taking in that I AM A MIRACLE WORKER! “I am here to be truly helpful”. It’s all about remembering that this is what we are here for. Gabrielle stated that one of her resolutions was to measure her success by how much fun she is having. I was then to look at the areas we focused on in the book and see how I could inject more fun into those areas.

Here are some of the questions that were asked. Take a look and see how you can apply these to your life.

Self Love: In what ways can I have more fun on my own in my everyday life?

Miracle of the Body: How can I enjoy he process of physical activity? What innovative and challenging workouts can I try? How can I enjoy the process of eating healthy foods?

Holy Relationships: How can I bring more fun into my relationships? What thoughts, conversations, actions, activities can I bring into all of my relationships?

Miracle of Abundance: How can I bring more fun into my career or place of work? Hoe can I have fun while I am creating abundance?

Miracle Worker of the World: How can I bring more fun into the world?

As Gabrielle suggests, challenge yourself into incorporating more fun into each of these areas of life every month. “If you intend to have fun, you will have a fun life”.

Wrapping up Day 42….THE LAST DAY!!! I will share this last day as well as some insight from the final chapter, in a later post. Although I am done with my 42 days of practice, the real work has only begun!!!

I would love to know if you have been reading May Cause Miracles though as well as your experiences if so. Feel free to share in the comments below.

xoxo,

 barista

 

If you have not picked up the book yet, Gabby will be having a 6-week ONLINE course for May Cause Miracles. It focuses directly on the book and provides you with guidance as you read along. There will be videos and audio versions as well as her guided mediations. It’s an awesome way to experience the book. Check out and sign up HERE

May Cause Miracles: Week 5 Part 2

Here we pick back up from yesterday with Part 2 on Day 31 of “May Cause Miracles”. This is the day where I had brought in the shift from thinking about lack to thinking about abundance. I actually liked this day a lot. Although not always easy, thinking about abundance and FEELING abundant is nice. It feels full. It feels less stressful. It feels like enough. There was an epiphany in those moments. The feeling we all “strive” for  through money, we can actually CHOOSE to feel that way when we want. Imagine that 🙂 “I choose to believe in abundance and accept this belief as my reality”. 

charity1During this day Gabrielle mentioned something that I actually had recently become familiar with. One of our old clients at my job used to give 10 percent of her income “to a place where [she was] spiritually fed”. This client made a lot of money so this place in turn also made a lot of money. She truly believed that by giving, it in turn attracted more money to her. This concept is called Tithing.

After I heard of that, I actually thought about it and it was kind of amusing because our clients that would make regular donations were the ones that continued to make lots of money. The clients that did not give at all were the ones that had a hard time making money.

This is what actually inspired me to start my $50 donation give-aways. I wanted to do it every month but for now I do it sporadically. I didn’t want to limit the places where I would give to and I know there are so many organizations I had no clue about so I  turned it into a contest where I would take suggestions from others and randomly choose someone and donate the $50 to the organization they suggested in their honor. I never thought of giving to a place in which I am spiritually fed. So in the future I will do that as well while I continue to hold the contest. This “makes a statement to the Universe that you believe abundance must be shared. In sharing your wealth, you create more of it”.

Day 32 is always my favorite day… you guessed it Gratitude day. Nothing changes your perspective and attracts more into your life then recognizing and being grateful of what you have. Have I said that before? I dunno, wouldn’t doubt it Just like with tithing, when you are grateful for what you have you are putting it into the Universe to attract more. If you can not be happy with what you have then that puts into the Universe that you will continue to be unhappy with whatever else you get as well. Abundance attracts abundance. “I am grateful for what I have, and I welcome all the gifts this day will bring”.

Following gratitude always comes forgiveness which is what Day 33 was about. The book says that “the ego uses past financial drama in many individual ways to create chaos in the present…when your self worth is tied up in your net worth, you probably have been attacking yourself for quite some time”. We have discussed the need for forgiveness in the previous weeks but “Forgiveness offers me everything I want”. We all know people often search for outside sources to make them happy. So the bottom line is that WE WANT TO BE HAPPY right? If I continue to hold myself to past financial standards, there is no way I can truly be happy. So to let that go I must forgive.

Then this leads of to the 6th day of every week which is the  day I witness miracles happen. It’s about surrendering to my inner guide and letting the creativity come to me.  Now that I think back on it, on this day something totally awesome happened to me. I was already going to share that story with you in my next post before I even made the connection so I think I will still leave it that way. Yea yea there I go being a tease again, sorry!!! Day 34 the affirmation was “I welcome in infinite possibilities. I will receive”. 

Last but not least Day 35 was reflecting which I like to do with these post of mine.

Man I only have one week left. It actually kind of makes me sad. I enjoyed having these exercises to do daily. I can honestly say that before I started this book I was already trying to be more aware of my thoughts but this book has indeed heightened that experience for me. I cant wait to fully reflect after the full 6 weeks. I am so excited I made it this far and kept it going and most importantly, I fully followed through on my commitment. It means so much.

Week 6 is pulling it all together and working on becoming a true miracle worker.

till then, stay tuned in a few days for my awesome story about what happened to me on Day 34. Manifesting Miracles. :)))

xoxo,

barista