Take Action Now!

Do you ever feel stuck sometimes thinking “I know what the right thing to do is, but how come I can’t just do it”?

I feel that way all the time. For the last couple of years, just through the journey of acknowledging my spiritual self, I have accumulated a lot of knowledge that I whole-heartedly believe in when it comes to growing and doing the things that will lead me to the life that I love. Yet for some reason, the hardest part is DOING what I think and know to be true. LIVING that life instead of just KNOWING it.

What do you think it is that holds us back from moving forward towards what we know in our hearts is the right way to go?

Often when we want results, we want results quickly. Living in the technological world as it is today, this urgency has only become stronger. So when it comes to making goals and obtaining them, we often think in terms of making drastic changes  in order to reach the ideal outcome in as little as time possible.

This way of thinking and working can be VERY effective and useful for some people in some ways but it’s not always the best method in other areas. Especially areas that are most difficult for us.  This innovative way of thinking can induce a lot of FEAR. Fear of the unknown, Fear of change, Fear we don’t have enough time, Fear of Rejection, Fear that we aren’t good enough, and/or Fear of how great things really can be for us. Next question, how do we conquer this fear?

runner-at-sunset

One of the things I love about what I’ve done in school is we have created “Ideal Scenes” for different areas in our lives. For example, I could pick my Health and Wellbeing and create the Ideal Scene for what it looks like for me to be in my own “perfect” health and wellbeing. This is created in present tense as if things are that way RIGHT NOW using “I AM” phrases.

“I AM waking up early with lots of energy, excited to start the day”
“I AM having an alkaline based drink every morning to coat my stomach with the nutrients it needs”
“I AM enjoying my clear radiant skin”
” I AM meditating in the mornings in the beauty of the outside peace”
“I AM enjoying my exercise routine daily”

and so on….

Then what we are doing with these ideal scenes are creating action steps towards fulfilling the spokes on our Ideal Scenes. No matter how big or small, the most important part is creating an action step we know we will absolutely follow through with. This can be the tricky part because I have learned that what seems “small” to me, may really be harder to commit to then I think. This is where getting real come into play.

For example, A few months ago, an action step I thought I could complete over the month was “going to the gym 5 times”. This seemed so easy because I used to go to the gym 5 times in one week, so 5 times in one month should be a piece of cake right? Well over that next month I went to the gym ONCE. The next month instead of changing my action step, I decided to keep it the same. “Ok this time no excuses” I told myself. “I will make sure I go 5 times”. I looked at the schedule for a class I wanted to take and easily realized that I would do it this time. Welp, the next month I didn’t even get to the gym at all. How do you think this made me feel? Yea, not so good about myself.

Ya see, we are only as good as our word is and our word is directly related to our self-confidence. The more do not follow through with what we say we are going to do, the more we lose trust in ourselves. Trusting yourself is HUGE when it comes to continuing on that journey towards your dreams. Without trust, we create fear.

This next month, I’ll admit I was a little afraid to make any commitments because I wasn’t so sure I could trust myself to follow through, even with something that seemed so easy. This distrust and low esteem drains a lot of energy when it comes to even thinking about my ideal scenes.

During my last class session, instead of picking actions that we thought we would follow through with, big or small, we created VERY small steps towards the spokes on our ideal scenes. Instead of saying I am going to go to the gym 5 times in a month, or even 1 time in a month, I was to think of the VERY next step that I would do. How about I just make myself a gym bag with clothes I would take to work out. Not committing to going to the gym but just putting together the bag and putting it in the car. Even less than that, I could maybe just make a list of classes I would like to try. Just a list.

Instead of committing to four green smoothies or juices a month, maybe I just commit to buying veggies and fruits. Or even less, just pick out and make a list of recipes I want to try, and the ingredients I would need….You get the idea. Start Small!

If my word is directly related to my confidence and self-trust level, then although small, imagine how these steps would easily boost my confidence level. The Universe/God/Highest Power supports us in receiving the things that are meant to be in our lives, but it doesn’t do ALL the work for us. We are CO-creators in our lives…so when we take action, other doors will open allowing us to make the choice in taking the next step.

From that small boost of making myself a gym bag, I would most likely be energized to want to go further. If my gym bag is already made and in the car, I actually might want to work out one day. I may not feel the need to commit to it just yet but of course anything more is always an option. If not yet, no sweat, but if so, that’s even greater for me.

By taking these small steps, we are not only building our confidence but we are actually eliminating the fear that would be associated with steps that are much bigger.

KNOWING what to do is awesome, it’s definitely a great start, but just KNOWING is not enough. In order to reach your goals and dreams, taking action is something you must do over and over again.   Sometimes is seems so easy to know what to do, it can be clear as day to know what others should do, but as you may know in certain areas of your life, KNOWING what to do and consistently DOING it are two different things.

Over the last few years, immersing myself in books, blogs, seminars, shows, I loved gaining all the knowledge I was learning. It all resonates so true to me. My thoughts were always “How can I learn more?” But over time, I started to realize that knowledge is not truly what I am seeking. What I am seeking is the gift of experience. Knowing how to make a great meal does nothing for me if I don’t make it. I can’t experience the process and the great taste of the outcome if I don’t take action. Knowledge is indeed powerful and very necessary for those who want to create change. Knowing what you want, what you don’t want. How to get what you want. How to become better… but knowledge by itself doesn’t create the experience you thrive for… Taking Action does!

What is it that you have had a hard time acting on in your life? Create your ideal scene of that area. Don’t forget to use present tense sentences to add more power and possibility to your scenes. Then TAKE ACTION. You decide how big or small you want to go. If you mess up or you can’t keep the commitment, it’s OK. Let go of any judgement. Judgement only holds you back. Allow yourself to figure out what steps you CAN take, even if they seem itsy bitsy.

It’s the ACTION that will get you to where you want to be, not just the KNOWLEDGE.

Let me know in the comments below your experience!

light and love

xoxo,

barista

Fuck It, Its My Birthday!

imageToday is my birthday. YAY!!! I took off work today and had a plan to just spoil myself all day. After all my Good Deed of the Day is to Treat Myself.

Originally my plan was to wake up and do some sort of exercise, maybe go hiking or activate my Dailey Method Living Social Coupon I bought. Then I envisioned going to Lake Shrine and doing some meditation and reading. Followed my coming home and taking a nice bath. After getting ready and maybe getting my hair blow dried at the Drybar followed by a mani/pedi before dinner with my friends tonight. Sounds great huh?

Well I woke up this morning, looked outside and saw nothing but fog. I felt like it instantly made me start to feel lazy as if I didn’t want to start what I was planning on doing. “But it’s gonna be so cold outside” my mind was telling me as my heart just wanted to enjoy the calm of the day. I started listening to my mind which didn’t put me in such a great mood.

I got up, went downstairs where my fiance was making me breakfast and my son was writing on my birthday cards. The energy was off so of course Law of Attraction was doing its job, as always, and the fiance and I started bickering all morning. GREAT! Originally I wanted to blame him for putting me in a not so good mood but I take responsibility for the energy I was putting into the universe. According to my calendar verse today, based on my favorite book Ask and It is Given,

“It is not possible for anyone else to create your reality”. Damn Right.

I drank my healthy veggie/fruit smoothie, ate some eggs and tater tots (my fav), said goodbye to everyone as they headed to work and school, went back upstairs and laid back in bed. My friend was texting me asking me what I was doing today and I was telling her my plans but also my fear that I was going to end up doing nothing that I wanted and waste time being lazy in bed. The whole time just looking outside at the fog feeling that same fog in my body. Looking at my clock, I started feeling miserable as if I was wasting time. It was already 8:30am.

“If I’m going to go hiking, I should go now, but I really want to take a warm bath, it’s so cold outside…. but is it a waste of time to take a bath BEFORE I exercise and get sweaty?…should i go hiking now or later. I havent been in a while, what if I can’t make it all the way. Ok maybe I’ll go to the gym. Or Dailey Method. But will people stare at me because I’m taking the class pregnant? I know pregnant women do it but I’m an out of shape pregnant woman…Ok ill go exercise then while I’m out go get my hair done then take a bath….wait will the bath ruin my newly done hair? Ok maybe I should skip the exercise, take a bath now then go do the other stuff. Wait but what if there’s traffic to get to Lake Shrine and back? hmm is there somewhere else peaceful but closer I can go to. Oh maybe I’ll walk around the lake…. but it’s soooo cold. I’m just wasting time now. I definitely won’t fit everything in now. Damn I bet I’m just gonna end up doing NOTHING that I want to do and just lay in this damn bed all day. Fuck the cold weather.”

All of this was consistently going through my head causing me to lose motivation and of course not feel good about myself. Then my friend text me and writes “Just do what feels good. You don’t have to think about it if you don’t want to.” and it letting those words sink in that gave me instant results. I said “U are right” and I got up and started running myself a warm bath. Something that I havent done in FOREVER!!! and now being pregnant is something that has been very much needed for myself.

“Fuck it if I don’t exercise today. Fuck it if I have to take a bath twice. Fuck it if it doesn’t go as planned. Right now I’m cold and a bath sounds nice so I’m gonna take one.” were the new thoughts going through my head. So I got in the bath, but on my SONGS FOR THE SOUL playlist and enjoyed it for an hour. While I was in the bath I get a text from my fiance telling me that I had a pregnancy massage, pregnancy bath, manicure and pedicure booked at 1:15pm at Burke Williams. Ask and It Is Given.

See, the second I listened to my heart and let go of the fear, my resistance wall went down. My new positive energy was set free into the Universe which in return, I was given EXACTLY what I wanted today. I hadn’t even told my fiance any of my plans. Maybe I won’t exercise today, I won’t get to Lake Shrine, but guess what, I’m taking responsibility of my reality , soooo…. FUCK IT! I’m filling my day with other things that make me feel good, including writing to you and that my friend is a TREAT!

As I was looking in my makeup drawer right before I started to write this blog, I randomly found some birthday cards from last year along with a piece of paper I had written some notes on, I assume from maybe an online seminar I had listened to. One of the notes said:

“No matter how much we work on the physical body, that doesn’t lead us to having the right mindset and consciousness of LOVE. It can actually promote the opposite. Your perception has to change first. If we see ourselves as perfect as we are then we use our positive thoughts to transform us vs the other way around.” Damn right 🙂

Today, in honor of my birthday, I would like you to just say “FUCK IT”. Don’t buy into the negative thoughts in your head. Think good, and do what makes you feel good. Let go of the fear, welcome the sounds of the heart, break the resistance wall with a sledgehammer and watch the Law of Attraction do it’s job, returning you with the ever flowing manifestations of your powerful self.

Most importantly TREAT YOURSELF today!

Gotta jet to the Spa now and get pampered. I’m not even re-reading this before I post. Fuck It! Happy Birthday to Me!

xoxo,

barista

Things Fall Apart So New Things Can Be Built

let-go

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but  enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but  less wellness. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve conquered the atom, but not the prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.”

Soon this will be a time of the past. A world we once knew. Have you noticed more and more people around you are emerging with a new perspective? At times I thought maybe I was just at that age where my peers and I start to question our lives, but it seems people of ALL ages are starting to do the same. 6 year olds are creating non profits these days to help in the creative ways they can to create solutions to the problems they see around them. We are realizing that the ideas we once had set aren’t working anymore. We are realizing there HAS to be more to life then how rich you can get, what kind of car you drive, how many titles you can obtain, and how good you look. We are realizing that THOSE things aren’t fulfilling, and acquiring the biggest and baddest just doesn’t lead to peace and happiness.

As much as some things appear to be falling apart now in this country and around the world, we have to remember for new things to emerge, for new ideas and perspectives to be birthed….old ways HAVE to die. A caterpillar has to go through pain, struggle and die to be born again as a butterfly. This is true on all scales of life. We are seeing it in our personal lives and on bigger scales such as whats going on with our government. Although the chaos seems to be getting worse, people are fearing the downfall, but this death of the current way necessary. IT HAS TO FALL APART. It’s creating space for NEW WAYS to be born. 

When chaos prevails, the old way is looking for someone or something to blame. Our parents, our partners, our bosses, our President. Our music, our teachers, our neighbors, our religion. Our circumstances, our birth order, our status, our government. Chaos is part of evolution and growth. It promotes change. There is no one to blame. The new way is to let go of blame and take on responsibility. We are finding out more and more that responsibility is what leads to change while blame only keeps things how they are. Individually we are responsible and WE can make differences.

The physical earth didn’t end in 2012 like everyone feared, but the life as we once knew it began it’s death process. People are awakening into a new era where consciousness and purpose is becoming the priority. As scary as it feels to live in this world at this time, it’s also the most exciting. We get to live through a new birth. We get to witness the changes that are coming. We have the potential to grow into our true selves and live our purpose and instill these new ideas into our children who then will pass it on. WE ARE A PART OF HISTORY right now. We will be a part of it all.

Yes scholars, visionaries, and intellects have always been around but we get to live in a time where more and more and coming forth and we realize that we have just as much potential to be one of those people the makes a profound statement in this world no matter what level . I love seeing more and more of my friends and people I know making conscious steps to let go of the path of that’s safe but not fulfilling in order to step into the unknown and finding the courage to do what they LOVE and what contributes to society. We are learning through our own struggles and lifting people up, helping them get through theirs. It’s becoming less of ME and more of WE. For this to happen successfully, we have to open up and accept the death of the old ways. Let go of the past. Let go of what’s not working anymore. Let go of everything we once knew and create space and wait with open arms for the things that matter the most. Take fear head on, challenge, grow, perservere, and enter into the peace that awaits for you

“Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What is my life’s purpose?” “How can I live a fulfilling life?” “How can I make a meaningful contribution in my world?”

If you’ve asked yourself these questions…. don’t worry, you’re on the right track.

With MUCH  love, light, and happiness this morning!

xoxo

barista

What I Learned From My First Day of School

I officially finished my first evening of class at the University of Santa Monica. I have to admit I was quite nervous and had no idea what to expect. As I got to the University though, it immediately felt welcoming by staff and other students. I expect it from staff but I wasn’t sure what to expect from everyone else. It felt though like everyone was so eager to meet others which was a very comforting feeling.

Upon class starting I just kept sitting there thinking… “I did it, I’m HERE”. It was somewhat of a surreal experience to look around and see all the different faces from all walks of life, all areas of the Country as well as some people traveling from other countries. After talking to a few people before school started, I felt the connective energy like we were all feeling the same. Unsure about exactly what to expect, nervous to start digging deep into our unhealed subconscious, but ready with excitement to start becoming better versions of ourselves. My first evening went amazing and I have a feeling you will get a lot out from me on these weekends that I  have school being that I come out with new experiences and feelings fresh in mind.

Today we learned two basic skills. “Seeing the Loving Essence” and Heart-Centered Listening”. Two very important skills when learning to experience oneself as a soul having a human experience. Two VERY important skills that were great starters because it will help us throughout our experience at school to learn to see people as one and really grasp the truth of being souls having a human experience. The Professor called it, “seeing and hearing with Soul-centered eyes and ears”. 

To sum up Seeing the Loving Essence, it is “not about solving people’s ‘problems’ nor is it about ‘fixing’ them. It is about how you will ‘be’ with them. In my own words I connected that it is about “SEEING” someone as another soul and connecting with them on that level versus the physical form that they seem to be. Connecting through the energy of LOVE. It is important because as we begin to connect more with ourselves as spiritual beings comes the ability to connect with others as spiritual beings. It leaves a space open for us to be accepting to others as they are in their truth rather than what their personality or ego may be projecting. A lot of times we like to hold on so much to the personality or ego because we use that to protect ourselves but it separates us and gives us excuses as to why we are different. We have to remember that personality and ego are just outside layers covering the truth of someone and underneath we really are all the same. 

We then went into talking about the importance of listening from the heart. One of the things that “pinged” my mind (I got that description from a peer in class) was when the Professor stated that “words are just reference points that help us try to communicate something”…. he went on to explain “book and libro are just words that communicate something…they are describing the same thing but both words are NOT books, they are just words…Words are not the things they represent”. This stuck out to me a lot because I think I can tend to get caught up in the words being said and my meaning of them and less connected with the feelings and expression behind the words. A question he suggested we ask ourselves when listening to others was “What is being expressed behind the words being said?” We learned how to listen from the heart while being fully present. A major part of this was listening was resisting the urge to give advice. That’s where I knew there was a learning experience for me.

I talk to a lot of friends all the time. I tend to be someone my friends feel like they can talk to about meaningful situations. The thing is, I do find myself constantly giving advice, which I learned tonight that often while doing that you are more focused on listening with the intent to fix a problem versus just listening from the heart and connecting with the person talking. We have been trained all our lives to fix problems so it’s not surprising that it is the way most people listen. Because people tend to always come back to me for conversation, I often feel like my advice is worth giving, and truthfully maybe sometimes it is worth giving WHEN ASKED FOR, but I learned tonight that listening is one of the most important parts of connective communication.

At the end of the night we got into groups of three and we practiced talking, listening, and observing. Each person got a chance to do each. It was interesting to feel the drastic change in the energy when practicing each role and experience. Not only that, just relating to each other about how each of us felt being in each seat. Every time the group started a new conversation we started with focusing upon opening up into our authentic selves, setting an intention for that conversation according to what role we were in, and asking the spirits for help assisting us with our intention. 

When I was in the “client” seat, I think this was the “hot seat” for us all, I felt how hard it can be for me to open up, be vulnerable, and speak from an authentic place deep within. I spend so much time giving advice that I often avoid being the talker. As the client We had to talk for 17 minutes about something meaningful to us. As I realized I was going to be the client for the first role, my first thoughts were “What am I going to talk to these strangers about for 17 minutes” . Because I was the only one at the time that was expected to talk and share, I was able to feel that vulnerability of feeling open and naked but was forced to work through the fears I was having at the time and open up about something that was meaningful to me. While I got to experience how it felt to share and be vulnerable, at the same time I got to feel what its like to be truly listened to and connected with. By being in this role I felt more powerful in my need to step in that fear and express myself more in the relationships that I have.

While being in the “facilitator” aka a listener’s seat,  I was to listen while assisting to helping the “client” find their own answers by asking questions without giving advice. While sitting in this seat and listening to the client speak, I found the profound difference in “listening” and “hearing”. Most of the time I do a lot of hearing but not a lot of listening. I went into that seat with the intention to listen for the expression and less for the words. To also connect instead of seeking to solve a problem. My eyes opened a lot here because I felt I was able to connect with the client on such a profound level and just realizing how much I can miss out on with others because I’m not really listening from a place of love and connection. It also made me realize why TALKING to someone is so important. I do a lot of text or typing online with people and by doing that I am missing out on the key components of how listening is really effective. Through talking to someone, even better if it can be in person, you are able to feel the energy of what is being expressed in their tone and their meaning instead of just seeing words and attaching our own meaning to and tone to them.

Next time you are in a text conversation, it is very important to remember, as much as you think you are feeling and seeing what is being expressed, without the physical tone and energy of the other person talking, you really are ONLY attaching YOUR meaning to the words and what’s inside of YOU not them. Not only that, usually while texting, we are distracted at the same time so our attention is never fully present with the other person. I’ve learned to try to avoid trying to get into important conversations through text. Tell someone “I want to be able to be fully attentive and feel and connect with what you are saying, let’s talk on the phone or meet up in person”

And finally being the observer, It was nice to see and connect fully with the relationship of two people having effective communication. Watching one be vulnerable while the other listens with their heart. To experience that from an outside view was very eye-opening and leads to more clear intentions of what I want my relationships to feel and look like. It also gave me the opportunity to purely just listen and see without the expectation or intention to be involved but just feel. 

Overall, my experience of the first day was amazing and I can only imagine what the rest of the weekend, and year will feel like. As scared and nervous as I felt walking in versus how comfortable and safe as I felt walking out shows the power of a strong community of people and what a loving energy can give for someone. I can admit I had some judgement and assumptions towards the people in my group but that was immediately dissolved when I had the intention to feel their experiences. That one exercise that allowed me to feel a connection and similarity to the other two people in my group also allowed me to equally feel more connected with everyone in the room even though I had no conversation with them, and even those that I have relationships with outside of class and THAT is learning how to truly seeing the loving essence in everyone. 

I cant wait to see whats next!

Remember the last time you were in a meaningful conversation with someone. How well were you engaging in that communication? Were your intentions to fix a problem? Did you give advice? Did you feel what the person was feeling without judgement or assumptions? If you were the talker, were you able to be vulnerable and open? If not, what was stopping you?

Challenge: Next time you are in a meaningful conversation with someone in person and you are the listener, I want you to set the intention to just listen to them and feel what is being expressed behind the word. Connect and see yourself in that person. See them through the lenses of soul centered eyes. If you are the talker, open up and be vulnerable. Feel the fear and do it anyways. Notice how it feels to be listened to or NOT listened to and still connect and see yourself in that other person. Then come back and comment how having soul centered eyes and ears felt?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista

 

I Got In, I Got In!

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SoOoOoOooo I Got In!!! Found out on Tuesday (yes, it’s taken me this long to share) that my application to the University Of Santa Monica application was accepted. I am on my way towards getting my Masters in Spiritual Psychology. Woooohoooo! Well guess what… as happy as I am, I still feel scared.

“I haven’t been to school for so long”, “Am I sure I’m gonna be able to pay for this?”, “Will I really be able to finish the two, maybe three, years?”, “How will I make it through the long weekends?”, “Maybe I’m putting too much on my plate?”, “School starts NEXT WEEK….am I ready?”

Ya know what, I DUNNO!! some of those questions, I’m just not sure of the answer. The thing I have come to discover over the last few days though is I have a choice. I can choose to let the fear of the unknown deter me away from my path (like I have done many a time in the past) OR I can use the fear of unknown to give me the strength and faith needed to continue forward. It’s like that saying that I love (that I might butcher), “Imagine driving in a car somewhere at night…with your headlights, as long as you continue to move forward, you only need to see a little in front of you at a time to eventually reach your destination”. That’s how this feels. With only little light leading my way, little by little I’m continuing to move forward along this path of my dreams.

The journey of USM started with me checking it out online and noticing there was an informational meeting that very same week. Being that, to get to this meeting meant I had to travel down the 405 (traffic nightmare) right after work at 6pm AND find a babysitter from 6-10pm on a Wednesday so my fiance could come with me, some people may have skipped the meeting. Not having a clue what to expect, I took a step forward. After the meeting I was excited but nervous about the financial aspect as that’s the thing that worries most people about situations like these. Wondering if I was moving too fast, what if I wasn’t looking at all my options. It took 3 months, but I did what I needed to do to apply. Scared about if I could handle it, yet another step forward. Now here I am filling out my enrollment forms after being accepted, still scared “what the hell is going on?” but STILL another step forward. I expect many more moments to come along like this, that leave me with the choice to stop or take another step forward and I’m coming to slowly learn that as long as I KEEP MOVING FORWARD, my goals will be met.

I’m finally coming to know what FEEL THE FEAR, AND DO IT ANYWAYS is all about. I posted this quote on my Facebook page a couple of weeks ago when I was finishing up my application, and it’s the thing I now start to think about when I get scared. It’s slowly becoming my motto for creating an exceptional life. I have felt the fear in other ways and areas of my life and continued along with stuff, this isn’t my first shebang, but I always felt like when it came to my career goals/dreams, when I got too scared I would give up. Whenever I felt a tad discouraged I would run away. SO this just feel like a BIG step for me to actually get something big started that I know I will follow through with, coming out a new and improved version of myself.

I have a lot of fears but I know once my first day comes, they will start to subside. Underneath it all I feel really good about everything going on in my life and the lives around me. I have learned a lot of things over the years, read a lot of books, given a lot of advice, had plenty of conversations and motivational talks with others to help them get through their fears, but through all that I’ve always been scared to trust my OWN heart. I knew there was a big part of me that hasn’t been walking my talk. And now I feel like I’m getting a taste of what that feels like.

Literally two seconds ago, I just text my friend with “Your head is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo filling your thoughts with fear, your heart knows the truth and just wishes you would trust it”. Stuff like that comes out of my mouth constantly to other people ALLLL the time but its a whole other story to feel and trust that myself. That’s all our soul wants from us, is to trust OURSELVES over the fears that are constantly being strung through our brain at lightening speed a million times all day. You get an intuition about something and almost immediately following are the thousand of fears challenging that intuition. The key is to listen to that intuitive thought.

When you start to trust  your heart and notice that it knows its shit, it can get addicting. You realize that it was right all along, even if at first it can be the scariest decision you make, and you’ll want to keep doing it. It takes many times of choosing your fears first and learning the lessons that go with them, but with practice you become stronger and less afraid. The goal is to eventually listen to ONLY my heart and tell my fearful thoughts to “suck it” (in the kindest way possible of course).

It’s funny because the one thing that got me to actually turn in my application was listening to one of my friends talk about how she had just registered for a certification class she was interested in so she could get her dream job. It motivated me because I remember her discovering what it was she wanted to do and within a few weeks she was making moves and putting down money. She was scared too but she was doing it anyways. I was just sitting there thinking “Here I am taking three months, scaring myself further away from my dream while she is just going for it”. The next day I started completing my application. I told her this the other day when I got accepted that her moves had motivated me and the ironic thing is, she told me I was the one that motivated HER. I told her if she moved forward and did it, MAGIC would happen. Well who knew, that magic would be for both of us.

Listen to your heart and MAGIC does happen. I believe that and now is time to start following through. Has there been a time where you have decided to listen to your heart over your head? I would love to know how that worked out for you. Share below!

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista

PS: People have been asking me “What is Spiritual Psychology?”. Below is a video from the EXACT informational meeting I attended explaining what Spiritual Psychology is and what USM is all about. You’ll see why I am so excited to go. PPS: This school isn’t for those only interested in Psychology, as Im not trying to become a Psychologist, many different people attend that have many different backgrounds and careers, 1/3 of the students even travel from all over to attend the one weekend a month. So you may be interested and maybe I’ll even see you there next year 🙂 xoxo

Are You Suffocating Your Flame?

One day a couple of months ago I started thinking about the possibility of going back to school. I have been interested in going back for a couple of years now but had wandered from niche to niche trying to discover what I was most passionate about. I received my Bachelor’s in Psychology back in 2006 and have not really done anything with it since.

After graduating I decided I wanted to take a year from school and just live and enjoy myself without any added pressure for once in my life. I swore I was not going to be one of those people who said they were going to take a year and never come back… I felt really determined that going back to school was my goal and I was going to return. Well a year has turned into 7 years.

After years and years of entering job after job, starting but never finishing venture after venture, I have come to discover that I have been subconsciously scared of my success. Sounds kinda silly huh? But it’s actually quite common for many people.  Especially the closer you get to achieving your goals. Most people can relate to feeling scared of failure but I believe the two definitely go hand in hand. As much as some of us are afraid of not being good enough, we can also be afraid to shine our light bright. But why?

We feel we don’t deserve it. We are scared of change. We feel guilty because others around us aren’t achieving. We feel like once we reach success, we don’t be able to sustain it. We want to avoid being seen as show-offs or conceited. There is fear that others will envy or hate us, which in turn will leave us lonely and unloved. . The thing is, we witness things like envy and hate on others everyday, sometimes we’re even the ones judging. 

I know that change creates more change and I worry that if I change, the relationships around me can’t help but change as well. The fear comes from not knowing how and this fear creates a sort of suffering. The thing is I feel like once we have experienced growth and witnessed miracles, we create more suffering by NOT changing. The light is lit inside but we spend so much energy covering it or hiding it, afraid that it’ll be put out, that we are doing nothing but suffocating it, stealing the oxygen it needs to grow, in return slowly putting it out ourselves.  

As with everything, there is always a pay-off we are receiving that keeps us continuing the path we do, even if they act is a bad one. What is my pay-off for remaining powerless? “At least I can control the situation more” “I can’t lose if I don’t try” “No worry about obtaining success and not knowing what to do with it” “I can save my money instead of risk losing it” “My relationships with people can stay the same” and one of the biggest pay-offs being, “I am comfortable and don’t have to feel vulnerable”.

Once you identify your fears, you can start to work through them and surrender to the outcome.  I looked into the University of Santa Monica back in June of this year. I attended an introduction into their program of Spiritual Psychology. I had never been so amazed in my life that a program like theirs exists. It was RIGHT up my alley. Everything I believe in, work towards, want to achieve,..all taught and mastered through their Masters Program. And what?? I can get a Masters too?!?!? Sounded so good to be true. I immediately knew that it was something I had to go through with. I have never felt so alive and motivated upon leaving that meeting. I just KNEW that school was for me. I even was mad I had not found or heard of it sooner. (BUT I also know if I had, I wouldn’t have been in the place I am in now to appreciate it).

I came home and couldn’t stop smiling, knowing that I had discovered my next step.  Hmmmm, now to take it. THAT was the challenge. I started my registration form and then all the fears come creeping into my head. “How am I going to pay for this?” “What if I can’t get three letters of recommendation?” “Will I be able to do this, work, get married, have more kids, and maintain the home at the same time?” “What if I don’t get in?” “What if I commit and then can’t continue” “Is this really reasonable?” I’ll admit some of those fears were powered by fear of failure, but because of how powerful I felt in my heart about this program, I realized more of it was coming out of my fear of actually coming to a successful place along my path.

I have had a lot of ideas over the years, started a lot of ventures of my own, but never fully following through with any of them. Over the last 3 months I saw this going down the same road.  Having been immersed in the things I love and continuing to grow over the years, witness the miracles that happen to others that are conquering their fears, even being a huge part of that very process in others lives. I have become nothing but more and more passionate about what I want to be doing with my life. I KNOW that I don’t want to settle. And I have come to truly believe that once you know this TRUTH, there is no looking back. There is no giving up. There is no backing down. As much as you try to cover that light, your passion becomes its gasoline and if you don’t move your hands, it will burn you eventually, forcing you to get out of your own way, until it can do nothing less than SHINE the way it’s meant to.

Classes start in the beginning of October. “Maybe next year will work out better” “Next year will only come with different excuses”. The fears that were stopping me from moving forwards were slowly becoming trumped by my fears of how I will feel if I don’t move forward. I came to an epiphany that the ONLY thing in my way was myself. It wasn’t money, it wasn’t support, it wasn’t time. It was just me and my limiting thoughts. And I CONTROL that. FEAR isn’t real. Grasping that thought is one of the most powerful realizations one can have. I have seen over and over miracles happen through the faith of letting go and surrendering. Why would it be different with me in this instance? How will I know if I don’t try? I believe things will work out exactly how they are supposed to. If anything, I needed this space to realize how powerful I truly am. I’ll take it!

This week I am finishing up with the application process. I got my transcripts sent, 2 of 3 letters of recommendations sent so far, finishing up my essay, and paying for my deposit. I felt the fear and I’m doing it anyway. The pure intentions are there, the flame of passion is burning, now all I have to do is SHOW UP!  This is it!!!! This is the moment, yet again, where changes will take place and life will open up. IM READY!!!

I leave you with a favorite quote:

 MarianneWilliamsom-Quote

Are you suffocating your light? What can you do to let it shine today?

Vulnerability leads to connection. Connections allows us to see we aren’t alone. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your thoughts or story in the comments section below so that you can open the opportunity for a connection with someone else

xoxo,

barista