Wise New Year Words From Dr. Wayne Dyer

Via Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Facebook Page:

Today is the dawn of the New Year. So you’re probably working on a list of things that you’d like to get done in 2015. Well, I’d like to ask you to forget about making these resolutions. Forget about deciding on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life in September, some nine months later. Any resolution that involves making decisions about future behaviors is a waste of time. It also reinforces the self-defeating notion of living in the future.

For 2015, wouldn’t you rather live in the present moment?

This day that you’re living right now is the only day you get. Period. You can resolve to be skinny when next July rolls around, or to quit smoking next month, or to write that book you’ve been meaning to, or to embark on your overdue exercise program by the end of this year. You can go about resolving until the cows come home, and you still have to live your life just like everyone else on the planet: One day at a time.

You can only live minute to minute. You can certainly use up your present moments thinking about what you’ll be doing in the future, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can only live in the now. The important question to be asking yourself is:

How am I going to live in the present moment this year?

Will I waste these moments reviewing the way I used to behave? Will I waste these moments reviewing how I would like to behave in the future rather than resolving to live each day to the fullest?

The New Year is a good time to initiate a plan so you can make some changes and help live your life to the fullest. See if you can practice thinking differently. Decide very specifically what it is that you would like to change about yourself in 2015. If you have some goals in mind, vow to work on them day by day rather than making them a year-long project.

When you set up day-to-day goals for yourself, you can begin living this way for the rest of your life. Remember this little piece of advice, which will be extremely helpful to you if you can incorporate it into your life: When you go for one entire day without eating sugar (or not smoking, or being assertive, or any other new behavior), you are a totally different person at the end of that day. What you must learn to do is let that totally different person decide on the second day whether to do it again on this new day, rather than letting the same old person decide today that it is going to be difficult in a couple of days anyhow, so what’s the use. Always let the New You make the decision, and then you’ll be living your present moments.

Remember, you are in control of all thoughts in your head. When you are using up your present moments to worry about the future, constantly reviewing the past to come up with how you should have done it differently, or contemplating disaster, remind yourself that you are wasting this particular present moment.

Practice cancelling out negative thoughts for a few minutes at a time. Vow to enjoy the next five minutes regardless of what has previously transpired or what you think is about to happen. Remind yourself of the folly of wasting your present moments on mental activity that focuses exclusively on your past or imagined future. All of your thoughts about what you should have done, or how terrible things were in the past will not change one tiny slice of the past.

live in the moment

As you celebrate this New Year and each precious present moment, here are 10 reminders to help you live in the Now:

1. Remember that habits are changed by practicing new behavior. By practicing new thinking every five minutes, you’ll soon begin to master the art of present-moment living.
2. Do an honest assessment of your “problems.” You’ll very likely discover that almost all of your problems are really in your head and not located in reality.
3. Take time to be mindful of everything around you. Begin to look at your entire surroundings in a new light. Observe every detail on every face, every building and every object. If you do this often enough it will become a habit that will facilitate your being alive in every moment of the year.
4. Change your attitude. Begin an attitude-redevelopment plan. That means practice enjoying everything you do.
5. Be specific about what you want and take action. Decide on one thing that you would like to work on and do it today. Work at it daily, rather than making it a long-range objective.
6. Create a self-improvement agenda for yourself. Put on your agenda whatever activities you’ve always thought about but never had time to do. Do them now.
7. Rid yourself of mundane chores that are not really that important. Spend more time making your life a pleasure.
8. Eliminate procrastination as a lifestyle. Instead of talking to yourself about what you are going to do next week or even tomorrow, use this time to start a new task.
9. Don’t give up control of your life to others. You cannot enjoy the present moment if you are busy trying to make everyone else like you. People respect you more when you operate from a position of strength and self-reliance.
10. Feel good about yourself. You are a magnificent human being. Always feel good about that self that you are always with.

For 2015, as I have for many other years, I vow to be fully alive and see the world the way Walt Whitman described it to be many years ago: “To me…every cubic inch of space is a miracle.” I really believe that.

I wish you a New Year filled with many miracles. May you live a long and productive life—one present moment at a time.

Love,
I AM,
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Tracking Social Media

So I’m realizing how NOT easy it is to keep up with my blog after having a baby. I pictured myself having this time while the baby sleeps to keep updated and work on my blog, change layout, create awesome posts, but….NO. It hasn’t exactly been working like that. I obviously have forgotten what it’s like to have a small baby.

Ya know the saying is, “Sleep when they sleep”. Ya right! When he sleeps I have to decide if I’m going to shower, make something to eat, clean up, do a load of laundry, read my books for homework, do homework assignments, or brush my teeth. Oh yea, and most times I only have 30 minutes to do whichever task(s) I pick because this baby likes to cat nap yay! The last few days I have fallen asleep too though. Not by choice of course. My lack of sleep is just catching up with me. When I’m only getting 2 maybe 3 hour increments of sleep at a time, some days my eyes are so heavy I can’t help but to doze along with my little man. I’ll take it when I can I guess.

But I haven’t forgotten you, and I haven’t forgotten wanting to lessen my time using social media and my cellphone in general. I have not been able to track my usage the way I wanted to because it’s a little too tedious for my current situation but what I do know is that I use Social Media and my phone in general A LOT! There is a fine line sometimes between using the phone for something productive and using it to waste time. I tend to get ADD when I use my phone. It may start by checking an email and then 15 minutes later I’ve checked Facebook 3 times, posted a picture to Instagram, read two blog articles people posted, and three YouTube videos. I am constantly checking my Facebook and Instagram. And I mean constantly. And to notice the things going through my brain as I do it has been pretty interesting. The urges alone, when I am aware, can be very strong and sometimes when I know I should just put my phone down, I just HAVE to check my profiles. It’s hard to stay focused on just being useful.

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What I originally wanted to do was track just how many times I open each application and as a small step I was going to lessen that number each few days or so until I eventually am checking them less and less. But to do it that way I need to know exactly how often I am checking. That means counting each time, and in reality, I check so much that I don’t have time to count. I am actually looking to see if I can find an application that tracks my usage for me. If you know of any, please let me know. It’d help me.

For now, I am going to continue to notice what things run through my head when I am using these various applications. I am going to be aware of my use when I am with my family or friends, my use in public places, and my use when it has nothing to do with anything but wasting time. Then maybe instead of cutting down number of times a day I am using, as a small step, I can even cut out specific time frame in which I do not use. (it sounds like I’m talking about drugs, I know, but seriously it almost kind of feels like that… I admit, it’s pretty sad). I’m not going to judge myself though. Change becomes a lot easier when we are compassionate with ourselves.

If anyone has any other ideas let me know to help me with this process, I would love to hear any suggestions.

How often do you use Social Media? Your cellphone? For what purposes? Leave a comment below.

As much as I want to check in with you in a few days, I’m not sure when I’ll be back… but IWILL try my hardest to check back in, in a few days. Just know I’m always thinking of you so come back often for updates.

xoxo,

barista

LOOK UP: The Viral Video That Can Change Your Life

So this video has circulated on Facebook about the reality of Social Media. As good of an idea as social media sites are for keeping in touch with friends and family and rekindling long-lost friends, growing a business, as connected as we think we feel and think we have become, we have actually totally disconnected to the world. The physical world has become of space in which we breathe and the internet has become the space in which we live. The friends we spend so much time “keeping in touch” with on Facebook, we ignore when sitting face to face at lunch with them. The beautiful scenery we spend so much time posting online, we ignore once that picture is taken. The friend that appears to have the beautiful family and marriage is about to get a divorce because her and her husband don’t talk.  The paradox is real. FOMO is real. We have become a society that has a huge FEAR OF MISSING OUT yet all we are really doing is MISSING OUT! Missing out on the things that a computer, a smartphone, and an iPad can’t give us. A pure genuine solid REAL connection with the world in which we live.

Watch this amazing truth filled video that was written, performed, and produced by Gary Turk

 

 

According to Daily Mail, the average person checks their phone 110 times a day! In the evening hours people check their phones about 9 times an hour but it can be as often as every 6 seconds. Marketing Pilgram goes to say that people check their Facebook pages an average of 14 times a day, only using it for 2.2 minutes at a time before switching over to something else. The only thing people do more than check Facebook on their phones is Text messaging. 50% of people who use Facebook do so the most while they are running errands, shopping, cooking, or working out and even while at the movies.

After watching this video, I did a lot of thinking about my relationship with Social Media. My guilty pleasures are mainly Facebook and Instagram along with, not millions but BILLIONS of other people. A while back I wrote a post about my addiction to technology and wanting to spend less time on that and more time being present, especially with my children and my family. I feel like I’ve felt the pressure to quit it all more and more but i’m not gonna lie, it’s very hard. The reality is, so much of our livelihood does depend on being online.

I have my blog that I want to grow into more that will eventually support and work with my future coaching business. I am a freelance photographer as a side job. All of which relies with being online. Both my blog and my photography pages have Facebook pages that are directly attached to my personal page. I have thought about deleting Facebook bc i do get stuck checking it over and over and over but then i think about how it does help me, how it is good…. so i think when it comes down to it, it’s about figuring out a healthy balance. Balancing using it for work purpose and family purpose without getting sucked into wasting valuable time and actually LIVING my life. But how does one with an addiction find a balance… i wish it were as easy as just cutting back, but it’s not that easy. I’ve had Facebook since 2005 and sad to say, but especially over the last few years, it’s become very integrated in my day to day. It’s oh so easy to get caught up checking and liking and posting and sharing.

Not just with Facebook but with social media and technology in general. This is something I have been getting called to do since my first son was 6 months old. Even more loudly over the last year or so. TO BE MORE PRESENT! To revamp my priorities. I think this video has been a perfect segway into really starting and focusing on making that a reality.

I’m very well aware that I am not one that can just make changes cold turkey like some people. You may have even been able to tell according to other posts I’ve written about having to follow through with certain things. I have come to terms with that and unfortunately it’s taken a toll on my confidence and self trust. SO I will be taking a different approach with this to be more successful. This involves taking small steps at a time to build confidence and self-trust AND eventually meet the balance that feels best for me. I also think there are lots of psychological issues that need to be healed that lead to the overuse and addiction in the first place so I will be exploring those as well. For me the first step is figuring out just how much I use and am not present during times I want or need to be. So FIRST I will simply just record my time over the next few days and see what we come up with as far as how much I check my phone including specifics like Facebook and Instagram.

Also I want to share one of my favorite blogs regarding this subject, the one that REALLY got me thinking a few years ago about starting this process. The blog is called Hands Free Momma and the author is an AMAZING writer and will get you to think and really feel the necessity to become more present in your life and to what’s important to you. Enjoy her!

This is something I really want to follow through with and make a priority so If you want to follow my progress feel free to SUBSCRIBE to my blog (at the upper right box) to get updates about my process and progress

Are you addicted to social media or technology in general? How do you feel when you see everyone on their phones all the time? Are you ready to make a change in your life? If so, leave a comment below, i would love to hear your thoughts and maybe we can begin this journey together.

Also if you like this post and/or video please SHARE with your friends

HERE’S TO BECOMING MORE PRESENT! and it starts with some acknowledgement of the problem.

xoxo,

 

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! Two Milestones, A Reveal, & a GIVE-AWAY

“Happy Anniversary to me, Happy Anniversary to me, Happy Anniversary My Mornin’ Coffee, Happy Anniversary to me”

GREAT MORNIN my fellow coffee readers!!! I can’t believe one year ago today I decided to go for it! Something I envisioned  for months and months but never had the courage to JUST DO  IT! And it all started with the season finale of The Bachelor.

The reason I hadn’t been posting anything the last few days, even though on certain occasions I wanted to very badly, was because today is also very special for another reason….

IT’S MY 100th POST!!!!  yayyy. I can’t believe I’ve posted for this long and that much.

I’m so excited to make it to both of these milestones. I was worried I wasn’t good enough to do this. I don’t consider myself a writer so it was very hard to really put myself and my words out into the public. But there was something inside of me that said, “just keep going”!

I had to do some work with letting myself off the hook though. When I started I was trying to post often, my goal was to post every day, so I was just finding articles, quotes, anything that would work so I could some way spark the interest of people. I liked the stuff I posted and stand behind it, but I found myself often in a rush or hurry just to have a post and it didn’t seem organic. I also found that I wasn’t spending as much time writing myself versus posting other people’s stuff. So I had to let myself off the hook and make it ok to not have a post every day or every other day. To not compare my blog with others that had a lot of followers or that posted often. To give my blog the chance to grow naturally and on its own schedule and if that meant I could only post twice a week then that’s what happened, but at least then I was taking my time and giving more heart to what was being put out there.

And ONE YEAR and 100 POSTS LATER I have 7,801 views (more after you see this), 71 blog followers, and 121 Facebook followers.

71 blog followers may not be a lot to some people but I appreciate and want to thank each and every one of you.

I started with being anonymous, I didn’t hound my friends to follow me, some still don’t even know I have a blog or know that this is MY blog. I wanted to see how my blog would naturally progress on its own without people following it just because they were my friend. Almost ALL of you I don’t even know, which means you found me on your own… You all decided to press Follow or Sign up with your email because you actually liked my content. Which means that I must be doing something right!!!

I thank all you that support me, that like what I do, that are interested in reading more. I really do appreciate you!!!

This has been a commitment, and although you may not realize it, you are all helping me grow.

I’ll admit some part of why I wasn’t really promoting my blog, especially as my own, was out of fear. I didn’t want to bug people and I didn’t want people to know a more personal side of myself. Which I know to an extent I have still been hiding. I didn’t put myself out there as much as I could have because, of course like most, I have a fear of rejection. But this next year I am vowing to change that thinking and I am going to do more to really step outside of my comfort zone and put myself out there and if someone can’t handle that…. oh well I guess right?

First things first: My name is Ashley Navarro and I am The Barista!

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yes oh yes you finally get a face to the blog!!

Another thing is, I’m not going to be ashamed of self promotion!!! It’s mine, I am proud of it and I own it. I have become more clear of the direction I want to take and vision I see for this and frankly….this shit needs to be out there!

My Mornin Coffee will undergo a few changes over the next few months, it might change a few times, so bear with me and I promise I’ll let myself off the hook too!!!

Now to the fun part….

A GIVE-AWAY. I want to do something to thank all those loyal and new. I will be giving away two prizes. One to a loyal follower that has followed me any time before this post (so  if you just began yesterday you are in luck) and one to a new follower that starts following me any time from this point forward. I’m not sure exactly what I want to give-away just yet but it will be something unique and special and at least $50 in value for a loyal follower and something a little smaller yet still special for a new follower . 

If you are a past follower all I want you to do is simply leaving me a comment on this post letting me know you even read My Mornin Coffee. I wanna make sure you’re still alive. If you are a new follower, I will see you but still would love to know your favorite post in the comment section below… and if don’t know how to follow me check out the TOP RIGHT COLUMN and simply put in your email address and press submit OR I think there is a little thing floating on the bottom right that says FOLLOW! (although I may be wrong)….

A week from now I will randomly pick TWO winners… someone new and someone old to show my appreciation!!!

And if you have ANY cool suggestions on what you would want as a prize, let me know and it will be considered. After all the winner could be you and it’d be cool to get you something you want!!!

THANKS again readers. I love you and peace to all

xoxo,

barista

$50 Donation to your Organization or Charity of Choice

Hey Everyone,

If you are not a fan of “My Mornin Coffee” Facebook page, today is a great day to join. It is the last day to let me know what your favorite organization or charity is. Then tomorrow I will be randomly picking a winner and if it’s you I will donate $50 on your behalf.

The rules are very simple and you can see them on the Facebook page as well.

Directions:
1.You MUST be a fan of the page. Do so by pressing “LIKE” button at top
2. Comment on the appropriate post* with the name of the organization you would like me to donate to. 3. Can enter only ONCE each month but can continue to enter each month even if you have previously won.
4. LAST DAY TO ENTER will be on WED JUNE 6th and Winner will be chosen at random on THURSDAY JUNE 7th
5. SPREAD THE WORD!!!!
 
*the “appropriate post” has the directions on it and you will see others comments.
 
 
xoxo,

Mini Goal Monday: Are You Ready?

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

So today is a good Monday for me. You know why? I lost 6lbs this last week. I worked hard to do it too so I am very excited. It seems like a lot but I packed on a good amount of weight the previous weekend from going crazy on the junk food so I think it was a little easier to lose so much. We are down to the wire though so I have worked EXTRA hard to meet my goals. I hate very healthy last week, yes i had a few cheats of candy but it was VERY minimal, I did the workout videos in the mornings, and I went to the gym 4 times and did a lot of cardio. And guess what, it allll paid off very nicely and was the motivation I needed to keep going this week.

Something funny I did last week that FORCED me into the gym was a checked-in to the gym on my Facebook and I wrote “I give permission for anyone to slap me if you do not see me check in to the gym 4 times this week” and I can promise you, THIS is the main reason I made sure I was at the gym 4 times. When I wrote that I had the days I was gonna go planned out but forgot I was going out of town. Well I had to make sure when I was out of town to get to the gym for check in #4. I really did feel accountable and worried that someone would have come up and slapped me 🙂

Last weeks Mini Goal Monday was about the difference between people who believe their goals will happen and people who have doubt their goals can happen. I later read an article that was amazing about it needing to be the right time to kick habits. If it’s not the right time, you won’t kick it and not only that you will continue to down yourself for not doing so. The article was called “Don’t Kick the Habit”  written by Lissa Rankin and it was featured on my ultimate favorite website The Daily Love. If you are a fan of my Facebook page you may have already read this, if not I suggest you do now.

Here is what she writes:

Don’t try to stop smoking. Don’t give up booze. Don’t throw out your pot. Don’t ditch the donuts.

While you’re at it, don’t join the gym.  Don’t try to meditate every day.  Don’t promise to get over your money issues. Don’t resolve to lose twenty pounds.

Don’t quit the job you hate. Don’t leave your deadbeat boyfriend.  Don’t try to be a better mother/ daughter/ friend. Don’t give up internet porn.

Don’t finish that novel. Don’t sign up for that art class. Don’t declutter your house. Don’t get out of debt.

When you make promises to yourself before you’re ready to make big change, you just prove to yourself what you’ve suspected all along – that you don’t have the willpower, you’re not trustworthy and you never follow through on your word.

You pay big bucks to Jenny Craig, but you never follow the program. You sign up for the art class, but you don’t start painting. You look at your computer, but you don’t write your novel. You look up 12 step programs but then you never go. You sign up for that green juice cleanse and then you never cleanse. You pay the $99 every month, but you don’t actually go to the gym. You make a budget but then you don’t follow it. You break up with your boyfriend and two days later, you sleep with him. You try to quit your job until they offer you a raise and you get sucked in again.

Every time you make a promise to yourself that you don’t keep, you feel like shit. And when you feel like shit, what do you do? You smoke that cigarette/ eat that ice cream/ start jonesing for that drug or that sex or your couch potato lifestyle. When you make promises to yourself that you don’t keep, you make the habit worse.

Instead, wait until you’ve decided it’s really time.

Draw the line in the sand.

Refuse to accept anything less than 100% recovery.

Know that this time, it’s for real. And mean it.

Trust that once you decide you’re really ready, it will be easy. You’ll break the habit in a blink. You’ll never look back.

But until you’re 1000% on board with your decision, don’t kick the habit. Give yourself permission to buy that pack of cigarettes or that bottle of wine or that blunt. Love yourself as you smoke or drink or get high. Love yourself as you lounge on the sofa and binge on potato chips. Love yourself as you overspend, overindulge, oversex, overgive, overprocrastinate. Cancel the gym membership. Drop out of the art class. Close your computer.  Get off the scale. Inhale all the way.

And love yourself just as you are, for every little flaw that makes you who you are, for better or for worse.

When you do, something magical will happen. At some point, when you least expect it, in the midst of this love-fest, a spark will catch fire. The flame will grow. The light will outshine the darkness. The darkness will no longer be able to resist the light.

When you love yourself so much, in spite of your imperfections, you will hit a point on some future day, and it will come when you least expect it. It won’t be a resolution or a promise or anything they make you do in rehab. It will come from within, and it will be easy – and it will be permanent.

One day, you will love yourself so much that you will decide you’re done with the habit, you’re ready to accomplish the goal, and the time is now.

It will happen effortlessly, and you will never look back.

If that time isn’t here yet, you will never succeed in quitting, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you want to quit. Your failure will be guaranteed, and then you will prove to yourself – once again – what a loser you are.

But you’re not a loser, my love. You just haven’t decided yet. And that’s okay. I forgive you, so please forgive yourself.

Until you decide the time is now, you might as well give yourself permission to enjoy that cigarette, to breathe it in, to breathe it out, and to throw your arms out as you do…

Is now the time?

Loving you just the way you are

I think this article is awesome is makes VERY good points. Everyone has their own time and the perfect time can only be figured out by them. If there is something in your life that you want to change, only you have the power to make it happen and if you are not ready, you will not change. So the power then lies in understanding yourself and knowing yourself enough to know when you are ready. In many people’s lives will come the turning point of when you face “Do I want to continue my life this way?” or “I want my life to be better, I deserve better”. For some people it can be when they are 14 years old for others it can be at 60 years old. Sadly for some it may never happen. This is your changing point and when you hit it, you will know it and you will go full force. So the question now becomes “ARE YOU READY?”

 

Mini Goals:
*Continue with my workout/eating regimen
*Do some itinerary planning for my trip to  New York next week
*Finish editing pictures from my mini sessions for clients to see by Sunday
*HAVE A GOOD WEEK!!! 

xoxo,