Things Fall Apart So New Things Can Be Built


“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but  enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but  less wellness. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve conquered the atom, but not the prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.”

Soon this will be a time of the past. A world we once knew. Have you noticed more and more people around you are emerging with a new perspective? At times I thought maybe I was just at that age where my peers and I start to question our lives, but it seems people of ALL ages are starting to do the same. 6 year olds are creating non profits these days to help in the creative ways they can to create solutions to the problems they see around them. We are realizing that the ideas we once had set aren’t working anymore. We are realizing there HAS to be more to life then how rich you can get, what kind of car you drive, how many titles you can obtain, and how good you look. We are realizing that THOSE things aren’t fulfilling, and acquiring the biggest and baddest just doesn’t lead to peace and happiness.

As much as some things appear to be falling apart now in this country and around the world, we have to remember for new things to emerge, for new ideas and perspectives to be birthed….old ways HAVE to die. A caterpillar has to go through pain, struggle and die to be born again as a butterfly. This is true on all scales of life. We are seeing it in our personal lives and on bigger scales such as whats going on with our government. Although the chaos seems to be getting worse, people are fearing the downfall, but this death of the current way necessary. IT HAS TO FALL APART. It’s creating space for NEW WAYS to be born. 

When chaos prevails, the old way is looking for someone or something to blame. Our parents, our partners, our bosses, our President. Our music, our teachers, our neighbors, our religion. Our circumstances, our birth order, our status, our government. Chaos is part of evolution and growth. It promotes change. There is no one to blame. The new way is to let go of blame and take on responsibility. We are finding out more and more that responsibility is what leads to change while blame only keeps things how they are. Individually we are responsible and WE can make differences.

The physical earth didn’t end in 2012 like everyone feared, but the life as we once knew it began it’s death process. People are awakening into a new era where consciousness and purpose is becoming the priority. As scary as it feels to live in this world at this time, it’s also the most exciting. We get to live through a new birth. We get to witness the changes that are coming. We have the potential to grow into our true selves and live our purpose and instill these new ideas into our children who then will pass it on. WE ARE A PART OF HISTORY right now. We will be a part of it all.

Yes scholars, visionaries, and intellects have always been around but we get to live in a time where more and more and coming forth and we realize that we have just as much potential to be one of those people the makes a profound statement in this world no matter what level . I love seeing more and more of my friends and people I know making conscious steps to let go of the path of that’s safe but not fulfilling in order to step into the unknown and finding the courage to do what they LOVE and what contributes to society. We are learning through our own struggles and lifting people up, helping them get through theirs. It’s becoming less of ME and more of WE. For this to happen successfully, we have to open up and accept the death of the old ways. Let go of the past. Let go of what’s not working anymore. Let go of everything we once knew and create space and wait with open arms for the things that matter the most. Take fear head on, challenge, grow, perservere, and enter into the peace that awaits for you

“Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What is my life’s purpose?” “How can I live a fulfilling life?” “How can I make a meaningful contribution in my world?”

If you’ve asked yourself these questions…. don’t worry, you’re on the right track.

With MUCH  love, light, and happiness this morning!



Let Your Fear Guide You

Greetings from Bali, Indonesia!!!

I have had so much I’ve wanted to write these last few days but barely got time to due to trying to get ready for my trip. In this process of getting ready to leave and during the actual trip to get here, a lot has come up for me and I’m pretty impressed with myself with how I have handled it.

One of the first things is this fear of flying. I never really had a fear of flying until I had my son. Then again, I had never really flown too far either. Most of my plane trips consists of flying from Southern California to Northern California and even that I don’t do often anymore. Now thinking about it, I’m not so sure I have a fear of flying as it is actually a fear of dying! I have had this fear of dying since I was younger but it magnified after I had my son.

Now it’s not just about me dying but it’s about my son not having one or both of his parents. When I flew to New York last year to go on a vacation with my mom, aunts, and cousin I was still terrified of the flight. I had to fly by myself but it was late at night and I got to sleep a lot of the way in a row by myself so it wasn’t SO  bad. I had left my son with his father so even then I knew if something happened he would have his daddy.

This time around, both of us are on the trip so I’ve really been freaking out. I’ve been so fearful that something could happen to both of us. It’s given me really bad anxiety for the week leading up to the trip. I had a counseling session last Tuesday and I started crying because my anxiety about talking about it was getting so bad. My heart started beating really fast. My palms were getting sweaty. I felt numb and cold. At some points my fears get so out of control that I’ll admit, I’ve been afraid that one day I’ll be afraid to leave the house.

I never thought I’d be a person to have to deal with an anxiety like this and it’s a little crazy just how real my fears have felt. When I was with my counselor we practiced just taking deep breaths and calming my body down. Talked about recognizing that this is a fear and it’s not reality. For me this was hard because I felt like it was a reality. Everything in my body felt like something was going to happen to me. Even through calming down and trying to distract myself or think happy thoughts, I couldn’t stop the back of my brain from feeling scared.

One of the things that had kind of worked me up last week was getting all the emergency information ready for my cousin and my mother in  law (who are watching my son right now). I had a feeling that I needed to write my son a letter “just in case” to explain to him how much I love him. Then I thought I needed to make letters for  other important  people in my life. This is one of the thoughts that scared me. I felt like if I wrote the letters I was jinxing myself for something bad to happen but If I didn’t write the letters I would hate for something bad to happen and these people I would leave behind to not feel resolvement with how much they mean to me. I was having a really hard time making a decision because both scared me quite equally.

I had decided that I wanted to write letters because in this way there would be no regrets. Even if I was jinxing myself. The one problem was that I didn’t have time to really sit and write any such letters. Talk about adding to the anxiety!!! That’s when the epiphany hit.

Although I was already planning on spending as much time as I could with my son before I left, since I couldn’t  write him a letter, I had to really show him and tell him how much I loved him and care about him. I do this regularly as a parent of course, but I wanted him to know even more the depths of those feelings.

Now I still had to deal with my anxiety of flying and I was becoming more relaxed. I had no choice but to just try to make it through with thoughts that I would make it out this trip alive and I would be back to my son.

You’ll be happy to know that I did VERY well for flying 24 hours of traveling. Every time the plane had turbulence, I had to consciously tell me myself that it was going to be ok. “Don’t freak out unless the oxygen bags fall” 🙂  I had to take deep breaths and keep my body calm. I only had to take one Xanax. haha! I’m proud of myself.

But the biggest lesson I have gotten from this experience thus far is that it became very clear the need to express to my loved ones how important they are. I can’t always control what’s going to happen to me, that part is hard to let go of sometimes, but I can control how I spend my time. Am I showing my appreciation and gratitude in the ways that leave me fulfilled? If I left this Earth today, would the people who I love know the extent of those feelings?

When I get back I think I still want to write those letters, but even more I want to  take more time SHOWING these people my love. Spending time, making efforts, using my words. We all kind of go through these feelings when bad experiences come around, but this time I want to keep this feeling everyday. “Live everyday as if it’s your last right“?

I turned fear into love and instead of letting it immobilize me I  want to let it guide me in a positive way. So remember that, next time you have a fearful thought, take a second to  see how you can turn that thought into love and make it WORK!