Im Ready

I am writing randomly right now because I have this overwhelming power in my chest. Something is igniting in me. Not sure exactly what it is or where it’s coming from this morning, or how it’s going to play out, but a change is preparing itself…I feel it and I’m ready to let go!

xoxo,

barista

Miracles Continued…..

So I am STILL on Day 8 of “May Cause Miracles“. Typically I think I would have shamed myself for not following through with what I intended which by now would be the last part of week 2. I felt that shame the second day I decided not to move forward but magically it changed to loving thoughts. Hmmm… who would have thought that would have happened? After week 1 of this book, these miracles like to work without me even trying.

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I remember on Tuesday wanting to move forward to day 9 as if I had thoroughly completed day 8. Part of me wanted to seem strong for the book club since I started it, but a bigger part of me wanted to cover the guilt I felt. I wanted to fool myself. That’s what most of us like to do. We think we lie to others but reality is we are trying to lie to ourselves more. We want to shade our egos while at the very same time pleasing it. The one thing about lying to ourselves is…..we know the truth! We can run but we can’t hide. Knowing the truth can eat you alive whether you realize it or not. Hiding the truth causes nothing but projection. And sinceeee I’m working on trying to stop that, AND telling the truth, I made a somewhat conscious decision to just tell myself the truth and at the same time let myself off the hook for trying to lie choose fear in the first place.

I realized that I am really dedicated to wanting to get through the book and witness the TRUE effects of making subtle changes. I can’t do that if I start with lying my way through it. I HAD to tell the truth, I HAD to forgive myself.

The reason I couldn’t move past day 8 doesn’t even matter. When I originally started this post I was going to explain exactly why I didn’t move on. I felt it was important to explain myself but in the process of writing I realized even that explanation is a way to feed into my ego. SOOOOO I will not tell!

Point is Day 8 will resume again on Monday and with a huge epiphany!!! I am so ready for this ride

xoxo,

barista

May Cause Miracles: Week 1 Part 1

gabrielle-bernstein-may-cause-miraclesI am so excited I got Gabrielle Bernsteins new book, “May Cause Miracles: A 40 Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimted Happiness” and I’m so excited to get through it. I’ve wanted to try a book like this that with some sort of challenge everyday so it’s awesome to finally have one. When I went to her seminar back in October 2012 she was mentioning her new book and it finally came out this January.

I’m going into day 4 and so far I am super pumped. I even started a small book club with some of my close friends so we can experience it together. I was afraid to begin this journey while in Bali but at the same time I was thinking “WHY WAIT?”. Being on vacation is just an excuse. If I want change and happiness I have to START NOW. I have to  make it a priority in my life. I have to put my happiness FIRST. During the 40 days plenty of excuses will come up. The weekend, a holiday, a friend’s birthday, I’m tired, I don’t have time, I’m busy. If I let all those excuses get in the way not only am I slowing down the time it’ll take for me to see this radical change but it shows me just how important this change really is to me. It’s SUPER important therefore I put it first and being in Bali doesn’t change that.  I read my days work the FIRST thing in the morning,  carry my journal with me throughout the day to take notes, and I end my reading for the specific day and do my meditation and journal before bed.

One of the reasons I love the book is because it’s SO simple. Each day is only like 4 pages long. Half of it is assignments to do at the beginning of the day with some ideas to be aware of throughout your day and the other half is an evening exercise to do before bed. If you are determined to try something new and make change in your life, it is very easy to dedicate your time to this book.

The first week is all about recognizing your fears and how they set roadblocks in your life. I like this week so far because it’s interesting to notice how many fearful thoughts I have throughout the day. Affirmation of Day 1 was “I am willing to witness my fear”

Some of the fears that went through my head on Day 1:

*If I speak up at work they will talk behind my back
*I’m not a good parent
*I’m overeating, I’m gonna be judged
*I don’t look pretty enough
*My hair is going to keep getting thinner
*I’m addicted to the computer
*I can’t fulfill his needs
*IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

I realized my fears are triggered when I am at work, when I’m at home with my family, when I argue with my boyfriend, when I see people I know, when I’m shopping. When I am in fear I feel anxious, sad, regretful, unfulfilled, unhappy. My fear affects my behavior because it makes me not want to do certain things. Sometimes I feel like I want to quit or run away. I start to feel tired or lazy and I tend to gossip or pull away. I also feel guilty or angry at myself. I mean can you see how fear can be immobilizing?

Considering the situations that trigger my fear, I live with these fears constantly everyday so you couldimagine how this has an effect on my day-to-day life. Most people don’t take the correct amount of time and mindfulness to actually notice this in their lives and when having fearful thoughts like these day-to-day, we tend to feel that’s it’s normal because it’s what we are constantly dealing with.

Day 2 had to do with noticing your fears but using the affirmation of “I Am Willing To See Love Instead”. I liked this one because when I would catch myself in a fearful thought I would stop and repeat this phrase and I wouldn’t allow myself to go further. Is my life “changed” yet? No, but its all about being mindful so that is my intention thus far. My intention is to think about the current affirmation throughout the day and that’s it. I believe with adding these up day by day it will create the bigger picture.

Day 3 was about choosing a new perspective. I had to write a letter to myself about being committed to change and transforming my fears into love. I had to put it in a place I would see everyday to remind me of my intentions. My true intentions are to create a happier life (there is always room for more happiness) and I want to dedicate my time to doing something different then what I’ve done in the past and see how it works for me. Affirmation of the day, “Love Did Not Create This”. Recognizing your fears and actively choosing a new perspective. The reason we want to be mindful is so it can  become easier to be responsible in the choices we make. We have become so used to fearful negative thoughts that they are automatic and habit. Not only that, its easy to place blame on something or someone else which in turn takes away the power we have over the fear. This day was about purposely CHOOSING something different.

Being in Bali I am 16 hours ahead of my friends in the United States which is half a day but I decided to work on their time so it doesn’t mess me up when I come home. Day 4 is all about Gratitude. Sunday will be the end of WEEK 1, I’ll get back to you in a couple of days and let you know how I’m feeling after this week.

If you are up to try something new, I definitely recommend this book. I would love to witness your changes and experiences. I’m excited to share mine with you!

xoxo,

barista

 

My List!

So remember the other day I wanted you all to make a list of things you wanted to do/change. My main goals are to take care of myself. Mind, body, and soul. I want to naturally just feel better and learn to love myself more. I want to be a better mother. Spend more quality time with my son and cherish every moment. I want to become a better partner for my fiance. Choose love first. I want to be a better friend. Be supportive and present. Be a better daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, etc. A better person for myself and all around and involved in my life. This is being a great contributor to society. Learn from others and inspire others to  learn from me. Live in my truth and become more and more my authentic self. That’s what it’s about. Figuring out who you are and living your word.

Here are 35 things that are on my list and it’ll continue to grow throughout the year:
(in no particular order)

1. Spend at least 5 minutes a day deep breathing

2. Juice every morning

3. Stop drinking alcohol for a year

4. Eventually Blog every day

5. Find consistent guest bloggers

6. Read more books (and finish them)

7. Be kind and affirming to myself (and everyone for that matter)

8. Work out 3 times a week or more

9. Go hiking at least once a month

10. Play more games with my son

11. Do a 24 hour water/juice fast once a month

12. Take my son to the park  more or have more playdates

13. drink at least 64oz of water a day

14. Eat siginficantly less amount of processed sugar and foods in general

15. Stretch in the morning

16. Tell the truth

17. Give up being right

18. Learn to meditate better and do it everyday

19. Try Kundalini Yoga

20. Call my mother at least 4-5 times a week

21. Get a facial and/or massage once a month

22. Be more supportive to my fiance

23. Keep my hair curly and enjoy it

24. Create more love, peace, abundance, happiness within myself.

25. Photograph 2 or more weddings

26. Keep a gratitude rock

27. Discover Los Angeles . Visit all the different places I can. Lived here on and off since 2004 and barely been anywhere.

28. Eat at different unique places.

29. Spend at least 1-2 days a week without watching TV

30. Start mentoring through “The Daily Love”

31. Volunteer for an organization

32. Run 3 miles without stopping

33. Send my friends/family birthday cards

34. Wake up at 6am to start my day during the week, by 9am on weekends

35. Surround myself with more positively inspiring people

 

What are 5 things that you want to do/change/become better at?? It’s time to get clear!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

xoxo,

barista