Here’s How We Are Creating An Unfulfilled Life

“For me and for many of us , our first  waking thought of the day is ‘I didn’t get enough sleep’. The next one is ‘I don’t have enough time’. Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours of the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of…. We don’t have enough exercise. We don’t have enough work. We don’t have enough profits. We don’t have enough power. We don’t have enough wilderness. We don’t have enough weekends. Or course we don’t have enough money…EVER.

We’re not thin enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough or fit enough or educated or successful enough, or rich enough….EVER. Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds race with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to the reverie of lack…What begins as a simple expression of the hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the great justification for an unfulfilled life.”

-Brene Brown “The Gifts of Imperfection”

download

HOW EFFIN TRUE IS THAT? I’m pretty sure the first thought out of my head every morning is how tired I am and how I didn’t get much sleep. And then throughout the morning, rushing because I don’t have enough time to get ready efficiently.

Gosh to imagine how the tone is being set for the rest of the day. No wonder the world is obsessed with LACK! Obsessed with comparing our lives with others who do nothing but feel lack as well. Spiraling down into this web of not enough. Thinking about all the things I think throughout the day, all the things my friends and people around me think throughout the day…it makes me feel tired just thinking about it. The number one way to CREATE a unfulfilled life. The question then becomes…how do we exit this horrible reality of scarcity that we have created?

To have a mind of sufficiency. According to Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she describes sufficiency as “It is a consciousness, an attention, an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstances”. We have to start getting intentional with our lives. Intention is one of the most un-actualized powers we have. We have the power to CREATE fulfilled meaning, to create joy, to create happiness, to create abundance, to HAVE AND BE ENOUGH. Instead of choosing to lose everyday we need to turn around and choose to win. Lack creates more lack. Knowing you already have enough creates space to receive the joys of the universe.

I’m thinking of ways I can start my day with power and intention. I think of the movie The Secret and it makes me want to  have a Gratitude rock. So when I wake up every morning, I can grab this rock and name 5 reasons I am and have enough already!

How do you start your mornings? Full of lack or full of gratitude? Do you have any morning rituals that help you start your day on a good note? I would love to hear new ideas so please share in the comment section below.

Leaving you with a quote from Marianne Williamson “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are”

5 Reasons I Am/Have Enough Right NOW
1. I woke up
2. I am in good health
3. I have a comfortable bed
4. I took a warm shower
5. I have something to wake up for

and if i didn’t have these things I would STILL be enough, these are just the things I appreciate about my life as it is right now!

Dont forget to leave a comment 😉

xoxo,

barista

 

Advertisements

Learn The Risk That Is Always Worth Taking

badge-DaringGreatly-165x165[1]So it’s kind of funny… My very last post was about how I was starting over with reading The Power of Intention by: Dr Wayne Dyer. Well within the last week I had had a couple of conversation with a few friends, some about me and what I’m going through, some about them and their journeys. One of the words that kept coming up quite often was VULNERABILITY. Either me telling someone they needed to be more vulnerable and express themselves OR someone telling me I need to be more vulnerable and express myself.

SoOoOoooo I decided instead of reading The Power of Intention now I was going to pick a book about vulnerability. I had heard about the book Power the Vulnerability recently and was thinking if it was anything as intense as Power of Intention that it was something I needed. As I kept telling my friend that I wanted that book, she kept mentioning Daring Greatly.

I was convinced I was going to get the book I wanted, so I went on Amazon and searched. All I could find was the audio version though. Being that I love actual books, reading them, smelling them, holding them, turning the pages, tuning into them… an audio version just wasn’t going to cut it. Well as I am looking, one of the other books that was showing up was….wait for it….. DARING GREATLY. How’d ya guess? I searched a couple more times for a book version of Power on Vulnerability, thinking maybe I just wasn’t looking hard enough but every page I went on all  I noticed was the colorful cover of Daring Greatly. Soooo I decided to go for it. All of a sudden I realized BOTH books were by the same author anyhow. Now I really may as well!

The need to be vulnerable is a commonality with most people I talk to as well as what I know I need to practice the most. Here’s the problem, being afraid to be vulnerable is also the commonality. Let’s look at the definition of Vulnerable:

vul·ner·a·ble [vuhl-ner-uh-buhl]; 

— adj

1.

capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt

2.

open to temptation, persuasion, censure, etc

3.

liable or exposed to disease, disaster, etc

Let’s look at that very first definition. “Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt”. Well no wonder why we are all so afraid. We spend a hell of a lot of energy trying to avoid being wounded or hurt, by all means necessary, so why would we intentionally put our guards down?

Why? Because our SELF depends on it, that’s WHY. Who we truly are lies in our vulnerability. We can not fully come to be ourselves if we can not be vulnerable. Part of being vulnerable is being Authentic. According to the dictionary, being authentic means “not false or copied, genuine, real”. When you are being authentic you are being yourself. NOT FALSE OR COPIED, GENUINE, REAL! That’s sharing yourself and your feelings even if in that moment its hurt, anger, or sadness. So why is being authentic vulnerable? Because we have the opportunity to feel rejected. Feeling rejected sucks! So we avoid that feeling.

Just think about it now…. what kinds of things do we do to avoid being hurt? We lie, we pretend, we hide, we blame, we stay quiet. Not one of those things leads us into being who we really are. None of those things are genuine and real. What’s ironic is all of those things end up doing nothing but eventually hurt us anyways.

I have a hard time being vulnerable particularly because I am strongly attached to the myth that vulnerability shows weakness. Putting your guard down is weak. It does nothing but leaves you open to be killed. We are taught that we have to fight and killing those that have their guards down equals power. The thing is being vulnerable is one of the hardest things we can do. Therefore truth is, it’s a strength right? The greatest power doesn’t come from killing the most people, the greatest power comes from connecting with most people. Think of some of the most powerful leaders. They were powerful because they connected with the masses. And guess what? We connect the most with those whom are authentic and vulnerable. Why? because inside we are all dying to be vulnerable, we are all dying to be our true selves and we can see the strength it takes when someone else shows us it’s possible. That when you let your guard down you get rewarded ten times more. Now THAT’s power.

vulnerability

I’ve stated in this blog over and over how I need to be more vulnerable. How I want to share more. This need isn’t only for my blog, it’s to improve my life in all areas. I need to be more vulnerable in my relationships, my career, my parenting….everything! And as much as I knew what it took to be vulnerable, there are things that still make me afraid. So I am willing to open up into learning more and doing what I can to educate myself about it.  I am fully at that point in my life where my purpose is in turbo speed. I feel as though nothing can stop me. Not even the risk it takes of getting hurt. That is how you know you are on the right path. Because even if you don’t know where the journey is gonna take you, you know you need to continue and nothing can get in your way. This is about taking a stand for WHO I AM!

Pain only makes us even stronger anyways right. Think about it, those who turn away from us or hurt us while our guard is down aren’t the people worth having in our lives. This means they aren’t ready to accept us for who we truly are. In the end, we all want to be accepted right. The only way to know that is to first accept ourselves without rejection and second TAKE THE RISK!

I know I am meant to make a difference in this world and I can’t do that without strengthening the thing that will give me that power of connection. Vulnerability! The risk ALWAYS worth taking.

So here’s goes to stepping into greatness!

xoxo,

barista