Time to Process

Last week I did something that took a lot of strength and faith for me to do. A lot of being authentic and telling the truth. It has been a hard week for me and the other party involved as well as a lot of processing going on. I have been wanting to write about it for the last few days but I am still in a processing stage. Just letting you all know, I am still thinking of you and will be sharing my truth soon enough. Until then, take a look at this picture…

What does it mean to you? What do you think it represents?

xoxo,

5 Blunders That Kill Your Happiness

This morning i got an email from The Handel Group about what kills your happiness. We all want to be happy. We all DESERVE to be happy. Being and staying happy though can be a really big challenge though. It is necessary for  us to go through hard times in order to not only recognize happiness but appreciate it.

The article goes to explain 5 different things that can stop you from being happy.
5 BLUNDERS THAT KILL YOUR HAPPINESS (written by Laurie Garber of The Handel Group)

1. YOU DONT HAVE A DREAM
As kids, most of us dream boldly and publicly. But as we notice that not all our dreams come true and that it can be embarrassing to admit to one we may fail at, we stop talking about our dreams and stop having them. But in the present moment (which is all that we have), dreams make us happy, even if they don’t come true. We start every client at Handel on a diet of dreams in all areas of their lives. Just focusing here changes everything for the better even though it can feel vulnerable and scary at first.

2. YOU LET FEAR AND BRATTINESS RULE YOU
What stops us from daring to dream? Brattiness and fear of disappointment. Taking action towards your dream in the face of fear or “not feeling like it” makes people happy and proud. In fact, this kind of action is the most important determiner of happiness. Most people have the misconception that it’s success that makes them happy, but moment to moment, we find that living in integrity is what actually makes people happiest. That means fighting the chicken and brat in your head, and demanding that your dreams rule and your actions align.

3. YOU’RE NOT ACCOUNTABLE
You may have a dream, and you may even be able to argue against the voices in your head. Still, actions consistent with your ideals don’t always take place. Why? You’re not accountable. The consequences of bad choices (or not taking actions toward your dream) show up over such a long stretch of time that you don’t notice or feel them until it’s too late (you’ve just had a heart attack, got divorce papers or lost your job). Get a coach or a coaching buddy to make promises with and to keep those promises in front of you, so you stay accountable to your dreams. Extra credit if that person holds you to artificial, but effective consequences when you don’t take actions in alignment with your dreams. For example, if you cheat on your diet, you have to mow your friend’s lawn. Now that’s accountability!

4. YOU DONT SPEAK UP
Once you get the hang of living in integrity (1-3 above), only a few things will kill your buzz. Having something to say and not saying it is the most common. Things you aren’t saying include: how you really feel, ‘fess-ups to wrong doings, ‘fess-ups to feeling wronged, broaching taboo topics, constructive criticism, owning up, and making requests. Make a list of all the things you know you should be talking about and put dates next to them determining by when you’ll have those difficult conversations. No matter how long it takes, making this commitment is important to your self respect. Each hard conversation you tackle will open up a sense of freedom and joy in your heart that you cannot imagine while just sitting and thinking about (and probably fearing) what will go down. Try not to predict the outcome, or control it. Just go for the ride and be proud to be someone who speaks up. Soon it will become habit and you will be a much happier, more expressed person.

5. YOU BLAME OTHERS
You forgot that YOU are the “author” of your life and that it’s good news! This doesn’t mean that everything in your life that’s not working is your fault; it means that you have power with everything. There is nothing you cannot impact in your life, if you decide to focus on it and believe in changing it. As you start to take ownership of your choices and the results in your life, you feel more self-trusting and powerful. It is as natural as breathing to look for causes outside ourselves to explain why things don’t turn out. The happy surprise will always be, when you humble yourself enough to say “maybe it’s me,” you will find you are 95% of the way to the solution along with feeling happier and more hopeful.

 

Practice working around each of these and just witness for yourself the impact they have in your life and your happiness.

xoxo,

 

My Truth: Overcoming Denial

So sometime last week I read this amazing article from Hands Free Momma called “How to Miss a Childhood”. It made me wanna cry. The website was started by this mother whom decided that she had missing out on the important things in life because of daily distractions. So she committed to going “Hands Free” and was going to admit to one daily distraction a day that she was going to overcome to live the life she wanted. This particular article was about people’s relationships to their cell phones compared to their relationship to their kids. How easy it is to miss a childhood, or even other important relationships, when you are too involved in other distractions.

For this mother to be able to start her website she first had to overcome a harsh reality she was feeling. This reality for her was that she was doing stuff that was causing her to miss out on the most important parts of her life. She had to overcome the denial. She had to sit in her darkness. If you can not sit in your darkness, you will NOT be able to heal properly. You will NOT be able to change. You will NOT be able to grow.

There are three types of denial. Simple Denial, Minimization, and Projection. When using Simple Denial it is hard for you to actually see the problem all together. One can point it out to you but you denial the problem even exists at all. Minimization is when you recognize the problem but minimize the seriousness of the problem. This is paired with rationalization. And Projection is when you can identify the problem, admit the seriousness of it, but fail to take full responsibilty for it. In most cases, trying to push, aka project,  the cause of the problem on other people.

My Story: This article hit me really hard on the head because it was really close to home. I have a problem, not only with my cell phone, but with technology in general. My addiction to these things have also been causing me to miss out on a childhood. That of my son.  I remember when my son was about 6 months old and I had been living with my mother for about three months at the time and I was searching for a job. I remember I would sit my son in his jumper, turn on cartoons,  and sit on the computer practically ALL day. My excuse was that I had to look and apply for jobs. Which yes I was indeed doing but I was also doing a lot of other things that were just wasting time and distracting me. I remember for a short moment one time looking at my son and thinking that I was a bad mother because I was sitting at home every day on the computer while I just sat him in front of the TV and that I couldn’t continue to do this everyday BUT at the same time I really did have to look for a job, while also facebook/myspcae, download music, make CDs, write in my blog, etc. I wasnt taking advantage of the time I had not working to actually spend more time with my baby and playing with him and taking in his growth. I got a job but then shortly after had moved to LA leaving me again without a job. So back to the old drawing board. Sitting my son in front of a TV while I sat on the computer all day “looking for a job”.  This lasted about another two months. I got another glimpse of what was going on caused me to join a mother’s group in order to get out of the house and start meeting people and take my son out to make and play with other kids. This was great as long as I was out of the house, but again, every time I was home I was back on the computer. I had used the work excuse so much that even when I wasn’t working my son thought. I then got another job and my son was back in daycare. When I would come home from work, my son and my boyfriend would be home and I would sit on the computer while my boyfriend watched TV and my son would be in another room watching cartoons. This went on for a long time. I remember “knowing” the problem but I had spent so long minimizing it that I just continued to do so. I remember one day literally thinking about how when he was 6 months I had thought I need to pay more attention to him and here he was now 3 years old and I am thinking the same thing. MY SON WAS ALREADY 3 YEARS OLD. I then moved in projection. I knew the problem, I knew the seriousness, but I denied the responsibility. I started projecting my issue my boyfriend for not being a good enough dad. I mean although I was on the computer all day, HE was also not paying attention. He was the one watching TV all day. HE wasn’t playing with him either. I’M not being a bad mother, HE was being a bad dad. I mean after all, I was “working” on the computer. Editing pictures for clients while he was just watching sports. Therefore I was justified.

Do you think that projecting the problem on to him was changing the problem? No!!! Was it changing the fear of how I was feeling about myself? NO!!! I was taking responsibility off of me but the problem continued to exist. Maybe we both did have a problem with the TV and computer, but how was focusing on HIS problem changing THE problem. The real problem was that my son wasn’t getting enough attention he deserved from both of us. The real problem was that I was feeling like a bad mother. The real problem is that I was escaping some part of my reality with my addiction to these things. Regardless of the justifications on my part, there was a darkness I was trying to avoid. 

 I was always afraid to admit to my counselor that we push our kid into the room to watch TV all night. I didn’t want her to think I was a bad mom. I didn’t want her to judge me. So instead I spent some of my time complaining about how much my boyfriend wasn’t a good dad and judging him. Finally one day, after opening the fear about other things, I had finally admitted that I felt like a bad mom. Something I  never wanted to admit before. The darkness I had avoided. I began to take responsibility for the issue I was causing. All this time I was blaming my boyfriend for being a bad dad, I felt like I was being a bad mom. Does this mean that my boyfriend TV watching wasnt also an issue when it came to the lack of attention to my son? NO I still thought it was an issue, but focusing on him only delayed what I needed to do to fix my part and heal the part of me I needed to heal. I had to utter the ugly words that I was a bad mom and that I had missed my son grow up. I had to admit that I wasn’t giving him the attention he deserved. I had to see that he had been literally begging me for attention these years. I had to stop justifying the problem. I had to SIT with the bad ugly feelings I had tried to push down. I had to really be vulnerable.

By finally admitting that my fears about being a bad mother and the ways my issue were having negative effects on my son, it was only then that I was able to start dissecting not only the causes of my addiction, which im learning is the unhappiness of my life,  but work effectively on ways to become better and feel better. I am now able to more actively pay attention to when the issue is taking effect and begin to commit to making the changes necessary to be the mom I want to be. Guess what happens when I start to focus on my problems, I can then inspire a change in my boyfriend as well. For the record, we have both discussed that we both have this issue and through recognizing and changing our own behaviors we in fact inspire each other.

The first step towards any type of healing is to get your head out of the sand. Denial. This is true for healing after a death, healing from an illness, healing from addiction, healing from pain of a past relationship. We ALL live in denial every single day of our lives. It has become a natural defense mechanism when one is faced with a truth that is too uncomfortable to accept. Sitting in the darkness will allow you to see the light. We all spend time trying to ditch the darkness because we can’t see the beauty in it. The first thing we want to do when entering a dark room is to turn on a light. What happens when you actually just sit in the dark? Your eyes begin to adjust and you start to see the natural light. That light bulb you turn is only temporary. When you turn it off what are you still left with? Darkness. When you learn you can see without the light bulb, you realize you don’t need it anymore. Now although true, I am only using this as a metaphor. I don’t expect everyone to start throwing away all their light bulbs and walking around in the dark. In this circumstance, the lightbulb = your denial.

It is time to face your fears about yourself. It is time to become vulnerable. What are those ugly, scary, thoughts about yourself that you fear saying aloud? I am hurting, I am not a good friend, I want to be loved, I am not good enough, I am scandalous, I am a cheater, I am afraid, I am a liar, I am an abuser, I am a jerk!!  Remember just because you say them and feel them don’t mean they are THE TRUTH. Just because you can act a certain way doesn’t mean you ARE that way. The light that you begin to see after sitting with this darkness is the truth. But you wont be able to see the truth without facing your fears and overcoming the denial.

We all have ugly, scary thoughts about ourselves. We constantly live in denial about these issues. We justify why they aren’t problems. We project our fears and issues on to others. SO the question is, how do we recognize something if we are in denial about it? Well pay attention to what is going on around you. Pay attention to negative emotions. Sadness, grief, anger, stress. Pay attention to your thinking about yourself and others. Judgement, criticism, incessant thinking. Pay attention to your addictions. Watching TV, eating, drinking, sex, overworking. These things are an alarm. Every time you ignore them you push the snooze button. It might let you sleep a little longer but eventually, if you want to live a fulfilled life, you need to wake up. Until you recognize the reason the alarm is going off, you won’t want to turn it off. Do you want to wake up? One of the best things you discover from sitting in your darkness, is realizing that other people have their own darkness/fears as well and with understanding and relating to yourself you can then begin to understand and relate to others making all your relationships better.

My challenge for you is to pay attention to times in which you feel you NEED to justify something or the times you are projecting negative feelings towards someone else’s actions. Then take an HONEST look at what’s really going on. What are you covering up? Don’t punish yourself for feeling and acting a certain way, use this discovery and admittance as a push in the direction you need to go in to become a better you. Face it, without overcoming denial you will never be able to be the best you. Let me know what you discover!?

xoxo,

Mini Goal Monday: Are You Ready?

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

So today is a good Monday for me. You know why? I lost 6lbs this last week. I worked hard to do it too so I am very excited. It seems like a lot but I packed on a good amount of weight the previous weekend from going crazy on the junk food so I think it was a little easier to lose so much. We are down to the wire though so I have worked EXTRA hard to meet my goals. I hate very healthy last week, yes i had a few cheats of candy but it was VERY minimal, I did the workout videos in the mornings, and I went to the gym 4 times and did a lot of cardio. And guess what, it allll paid off very nicely and was the motivation I needed to keep going this week.

Something funny I did last week that FORCED me into the gym was a checked-in to the gym on my Facebook and I wrote “I give permission for anyone to slap me if you do not see me check in to the gym 4 times this week” and I can promise you, THIS is the main reason I made sure I was at the gym 4 times. When I wrote that I had the days I was gonna go planned out but forgot I was going out of town. Well I had to make sure when I was out of town to get to the gym for check in #4. I really did feel accountable and worried that someone would have come up and slapped me 🙂

Last weeks Mini Goal Monday was about the difference between people who believe their goals will happen and people who have doubt their goals can happen. I later read an article that was amazing about it needing to be the right time to kick habits. If it’s not the right time, you won’t kick it and not only that you will continue to down yourself for not doing so. The article was called “Don’t Kick the Habit”  written by Lissa Rankin and it was featured on my ultimate favorite website The Daily Love. If you are a fan of my Facebook page you may have already read this, if not I suggest you do now.

Here is what she writes:

Don’t try to stop smoking. Don’t give up booze. Don’t throw out your pot. Don’t ditch the donuts.

While you’re at it, don’t join the gym.  Don’t try to meditate every day.  Don’t promise to get over your money issues. Don’t resolve to lose twenty pounds.

Don’t quit the job you hate. Don’t leave your deadbeat boyfriend.  Don’t try to be a better mother/ daughter/ friend. Don’t give up internet porn.

Don’t finish that novel. Don’t sign up for that art class. Don’t declutter your house. Don’t get out of debt.

When you make promises to yourself before you’re ready to make big change, you just prove to yourself what you’ve suspected all along – that you don’t have the willpower, you’re not trustworthy and you never follow through on your word.

You pay big bucks to Jenny Craig, but you never follow the program. You sign up for the art class, but you don’t start painting. You look at your computer, but you don’t write your novel. You look up 12 step programs but then you never go. You sign up for that green juice cleanse and then you never cleanse. You pay the $99 every month, but you don’t actually go to the gym. You make a budget but then you don’t follow it. You break up with your boyfriend and two days later, you sleep with him. You try to quit your job until they offer you a raise and you get sucked in again.

Every time you make a promise to yourself that you don’t keep, you feel like shit. And when you feel like shit, what do you do? You smoke that cigarette/ eat that ice cream/ start jonesing for that drug or that sex or your couch potato lifestyle. When you make promises to yourself that you don’t keep, you make the habit worse.

Instead, wait until you’ve decided it’s really time.

Draw the line in the sand.

Refuse to accept anything less than 100% recovery.

Know that this time, it’s for real. And mean it.

Trust that once you decide you’re really ready, it will be easy. You’ll break the habit in a blink. You’ll never look back.

But until you’re 1000% on board with your decision, don’t kick the habit. Give yourself permission to buy that pack of cigarettes or that bottle of wine or that blunt. Love yourself as you smoke or drink or get high. Love yourself as you lounge on the sofa and binge on potato chips. Love yourself as you overspend, overindulge, oversex, overgive, overprocrastinate. Cancel the gym membership. Drop out of the art class. Close your computer.  Get off the scale. Inhale all the way.

And love yourself just as you are, for every little flaw that makes you who you are, for better or for worse.

When you do, something magical will happen. At some point, when you least expect it, in the midst of this love-fest, a spark will catch fire. The flame will grow. The light will outshine the darkness. The darkness will no longer be able to resist the light.

When you love yourself so much, in spite of your imperfections, you will hit a point on some future day, and it will come when you least expect it. It won’t be a resolution or a promise or anything they make you do in rehab. It will come from within, and it will be easy – and it will be permanent.

One day, you will love yourself so much that you will decide you’re done with the habit, you’re ready to accomplish the goal, and the time is now.

It will happen effortlessly, and you will never look back.

If that time isn’t here yet, you will never succeed in quitting, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you want to quit. Your failure will be guaranteed, and then you will prove to yourself – once again – what a loser you are.

But you’re not a loser, my love. You just haven’t decided yet. And that’s okay. I forgive you, so please forgive yourself.

Until you decide the time is now, you might as well give yourself permission to enjoy that cigarette, to breathe it in, to breathe it out, and to throw your arms out as you do…

Is now the time?

Loving you just the way you are

I think this article is awesome is makes VERY good points. Everyone has their own time and the perfect time can only be figured out by them. If there is something in your life that you want to change, only you have the power to make it happen and if you are not ready, you will not change. So the power then lies in understanding yourself and knowing yourself enough to know when you are ready. In many people’s lives will come the turning point of when you face “Do I want to continue my life this way?” or “I want my life to be better, I deserve better”. For some people it can be when they are 14 years old for others it can be at 60 years old. Sadly for some it may never happen. This is your changing point and when you hit it, you will know it and you will go full force. So the question now becomes “ARE YOU READY?”

 

Mini Goals:
*Continue with my workout/eating regimen
*Do some itinerary planning for my trip to  New York next week
*Finish editing pictures from my mini sessions for clients to see by Sunday
*HAVE A GOOD WEEK!!! 

xoxo,

Mini Goal Monday: 6 Steps to Achieve Any Goal

I know I know, It’s not Monday any more. I tried to attempt my post yesterday but got so incredibly busy, not to mention sick, that I didn’t do it. BUT I am doing it today which matters right?

So how did everyone’s goals go? Are you getting better? staying the same? I would like to proudly say that I accomplished practically ALL of my goals last week. The only one I didn’t do was a work out video one of the mornings. I was so tired. I ended up losing 3lbs though which is very exciting.

I have 6 more weeks to meet my goal and since my scale was off for a bit without me knowing it, i still have ten more pounds. So I can just keep it at 10 pounds or i can break that down which is about 1.6 pounds a week which is VERY reasonable with good diet and exercise. I no longer have any extra space anymore to mess up without adding a ton to my weekly goals. THAT is the one thing that keeps me motivated. Let’s say next week I don’t lose any weight, well then the following week im gonna have to lose 3 lbs which is a little more hard and less exciting. Another thing that keeps me motivated is that I am in a bet with a friend. If I make my weight she owes me $100 towards a new outfit and if she makes her weight I owe her $100 towards a new outfit. So it’s a wash but we get new outfits out of it for our new bodies. Now I don’t want to end up having to owe her $100 without me getting my $100 too. Money is ALWAYS a good motivator. Esp when there is a chance I can not only make money but lose money. And then of course since the weather is getting hot now that bathing suit in my closet is always a good one too. And I can’t forget TIME. I always like to think about how TIME KEEPS MOVING WITH OR WITHOUT US. So summer is approaching and will be here regardless of me keeping my goal. I can choose to move forward with time or stay in place or even move backwards but no matter which direction i choose, summer is coming. And when it comes I will or will not have met my goal. The harder I work at achieving my goal the faster I will get there and the more time I will be able to enjoy having accomplished it. This summer I want to FINALLY say I made it versus it passing me by and waiting a whole other summer to have to SAME goal once again.

What do we need to do to keep goals? Especially goals that are typically hard for us to keep. I know not everyone’s goals are fitness goals but I know most of us have at least one goal that is typically hard to keep but we want to keep trying. Here are a few simple ways that can help you meet the goals you want.

1. DEEPLY DESIRE.
The number one starting point to any achievement is desire. You want to feel the fire in your heart for this goal. The bigger the fire the bigger the heat. You need to make a deep emotional connection to your goal and why it is important for you to carry out. When you are emotionally attached to something and it means more to you for deeper reasons then you can easily keep it in mind and it becomes alive and more than just words. You have to REALLY REALLY REALLY want it.

2. VISUALIZE ACHIEVING.
This is “the secret” right here. Where most of the power of the Law of Attraction stands. What does it look like when you accomplish your goal? How do you feel? One of the most amazing things about life is that your world is based on of your mindset. Change your mindset and you change your life. When you ACT AS IF, you create positive thought and feelings which in turn create positive actions. Vision boards can be very helpful because they are constant reminder of the things you want. Start with hanging just one picture of the thing you want.

3. MAKE A PLAN.
Every goal needs to start with a plan and action steps on how you will get there. Mini Goal Monday is one way I am trying to  help you create stepping-stones order to achieve the big goal you desire. Every goal no matter how big or small can be broken down to smaller attainable goals. This is actually crucial in goal planning and in reality makes it  A LOT easier too! While breaking down goals weekly, some even can and/or need to do it daily. Either way, always keep the end in mind.

4. WRITE IT DOWN.
 Lee Iacocca said, “The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” I agree which is why I have been doing Mini Goal Mondays in the first place. When you write your goal and the specifics on how you are going to get there, you immediately will feel a deeper sense of commitment to it.

5. GET SPECIFIC
I couldn’t be more serious about the importance of this one. When you get specific with your pathway to your goal you make your goal really clear. You start to make time in your schedule to make sure you get done the things you need to do. To get specific just continue to break down your goal smaller and smaller. Key questions to continue to ask are HOW and WHEN.  A classic example is again what I try to achieve with these posts.

I want to lose 10lbs in 6 weeks. How? by losing 1.5 per week. How? By working out at least 4 times this week. How? Going to the gym, doing work out videos, hike/walk, etc. When? gym on Mon, Wed, Fri. Workout videos Mon, Tues, Thurs, Sun. Hike on Sat. When? gym Mon/Wed-8pm, Fri-4pm, videos – 7am, hike Sat-9am. And there we have it, I now have my exercise built into my schedule to better make sure I make it happens. Of course I can do the same thing with how I am going to eat right as well. You get the point?

6. REVIEW YOUR PROGRESS
This is where support comes into play. I have these posts so I can check in regularly with everyone and review how I did the previous week. I also weigh myself once a week every Sunday morning to make sure I hit my weekly goal. {If you are losing weight I suggest you don’t weigh yourself more than once a week as we tend to fluctuate throughout, and the most accurate time of day is in morning, after you’ve emptied yourself, naked}. It’s important to have support whether it’s from a friend, family member, co-worker, coach, trainer etc.  I check in with my friend that I have to bet with so I can have someone physically to hold me accountable.

These 6 steps seem very simple yet they are very powerful when done. If your goals aren’t being met it is important to analyze why. Don’t push it under the rug. Review the 6 steps and figure out where you are falling short or where some things may need to be changed. Don’t give up! Assess how deeply you want to achieve your goal. If you want it bad enough, you will get there. Also there is a slight difference in trying to achieve a goal versus ending a habit. If you want to end a habit, you can follow these steps to an extent but there are slightly different steps. Maybe next week we’ll go over those.

Mini-Goal “Monday”:
*Workout videos Mon-Fri 7am
*Gym Wed-9pm, Thurs-8pm, Sat-10:30am
*Wake up at 7am Mon-Fri
*Lose 2lbs.

Start the steps by writing your mini goals in the comments below. dont forget to be specific. Good Luck!

Mini Goal Monday: Integrity

Soooo Good Morning Everyone….How did your Mini Goals go this week? How many excuses did you make, to yourself and to others? Did you start to notice others excuses? How did you handle it? I can tell you how my goals went. Well I just typed HORRIBLE but i decided to erase it because ya know although I did not follow through on them 100%,  I can not discount the effort I put in as well as the parts I tried to make up. We have to learn how to change our perspective sometimes and look at the glass half full to give ourselves the boost and motivation we need to continue on.

So let’s see, my goals last week were to work out on Monday, do Bikram on Tuesday, Work out on Wednesday and Friday, and wake up at 7am every morning. Well I can definitely say the waking up at 7am did not really work out at all 🙂 It hard when my bed is so comfy in the morning!!! 🙂 I did not work out on Monday but I made it up with a short workout video early Friday morning. I was planning on Bikram on Tuesday but last-minute chose not go but made that up with an hour walk on Saturday. Unless something important come  up I always go to the gym on Wednesdays. What makes Wednesday so important you ask? Well I have a class I go to at the gym every Wednesday night and I have gone for over a year now. And it’s a FREE class. Isn’t that interesting. I have it built into my schedule therefore I do not miss it. That is how we should treat most goals which is why when I state my mini goals I try to get specific to place them in my schedule. It is a lot more powerful and leaves less room for excuses. When you say something like ” I will go to the gym after work” or “I will go later today”, by not specifying an exact time, you are leaving wide open space for other things to come in and take over therefore giving you the excuse of why you can no longer go. I did not  lose 2lbs this week either because I chose to pig out on candy all week. I found out my scale has been off by 4 lbs too but lets not talk about it, that just means I now have to work even harder to reach my goal.

Anyways, this all brings me to the topic Integrity. This will be a “mini” version though as Integrity alone could be an entire post. Integrity is a combination of three things: words, beliefs, and actions. We say something, we then believe  it to be true, and we act so to make it true. So in short, Integrity = Your Word. It is following through with what you said simply because you said it. Ever heard the quote “Say what you mean and mean what you say”? Well that is about Integrity. Last week I told you all to start paying attention to your excuses and why you feel the need to give them versus just stating that you simply just did not follow through on something. Now lets look at the other side of this. How about now we pay attention to our integrity. What happens in times in which we fail in our integrity? It usually goes like this…we say something, we don’t believe it to be true therefore we do not act accordingly. Or we can even go as far as believing it to be true but choose still not act. This is why excuses come into play. We have to make ourselves feel better for not following through with our words. I mean who wants to admit they lack integrity?

Excuses or not though, when you fail to follow through, you are lacking, even if just a little, on your integrity. Our word is who we are and all we have and it is closely related to our self-esteem. Every time we choose to go back on our word we are lowering our self-esteem. Even if it seems unimportant. After so many times we start to lose trust in ourselves. Your word becomes your character. When you can’t trust yourself, how are others suppose to trust you?

SO this week the challenge is to take a look at your words, your beliefs, and your actions and see how they align. Take notice of where in your life you can lack integrity. If you are unsure you will be able to follow-up on something don’t say it until you are sure… But at the same time, notice the le-way you are leaving  yourself to possibly back out. When this comes up, simply make a decision. When you say you’re going to call your friend back…call them back. When you say you are going to attend the party…attend the party. When you say you are going to go to the gym…go the gym! If later you realize you do not want to do these things…do them anyway. Why? Because you said you were going to. If you start to notice that you are having to do a lot of things you don’t want to do…then stop saying you would do it in the first place. COMMIT TO YOUR WORD!!!

Mini goals this week: do work out video before work at 7am monday (already done btw), Tuesday, thursday, and friday. Go to the gym Monday at 7:45pm, Wednesday at 8:00pm, Friday at 3:30pm. I was going to say some stuff for Saturday and Sunday but I work both days so I don’t want to say I will if I am tired. But if I end up working out, it’s a plus!  I will wake up at 7am every morning (yes today I passed) and I will lose at LEAST 2lbs.

Bonus Challenge: Even if you prefer to be anonymous…LEAVE YOUR MINI GOALS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!!! Make them REAL! This blog is helping not only make my goals real, but keeping me responsible for when I don’t uphold to them. Let me know your mini goals, and the following week let me know what you discovered by following through or not following through.

until next time,

xoxo