I am reposting this article written by Kute Blackson via The Daily Love because I get into conversations like this constantly with people. He writes it perfectly!!
So many people stay in relationships when they are not even happy at all simply because they are afraid to be alone, they don’t want to feel the pain of ending it, or because they’ve been in the relationship for so long anyways. All of your relationships, friends and lovers a like, should be promoting and supporting each others growth and authenticity. A relationship, of any kind, is a connection between people and it takes all involved for it to work. If any one person stops their part, there is no point to continue. Do you have to dislike or be mean to them? No! but you certainly don’t have to be in a relationship with them either.
Here’s what Kute has to say:
We come together in relationship with another for our evolution and growth.
The people you attract are simply mirror manifestations in that moment in time that reflect who you are.
Yet who you are is constantly changing, evolving and growing.
Who you are when you first met your partner won’t necessarily be who you will be a year from now, let alone a month from now.
Relationship is really not about the duration that you stay with someone, but the degree to which you both grow, evolve and become more authentically your true Self. Staying in a relationship where you are both no longer growing simply because that is the thing to do based on societal standards, or because you made commitment 25 years ago, is not authentic.
Authenticity is to feel the depth of who you both are now, and fully be in the moment together with total honesty and love.
Then you can see if you are both still a vibrational match for each other today, not based on a commitment made years ago.
Relationship is when you come together with a commitment to serve eachother’s evolution, and grow together in a similar direction at a similar pace. The bottom-line commitment being “I commit to serving your Soul’s growth.”
Once one of you no longer has that commitment, and is clear about that, then you no longer have a relationship even if you stay together physically.
As you both serve each others evolution and keep growing together, then your relationship can keep reinventing itself to higher levels, rather than staying a stale version of what was. Your relationship becomes an ever-expanding exploration of Nowness.
But when one person stops growing or no longer has a commitment to serve the other, it begins to shift the dynamic. The question to ask is simply, “Are we both growing as Souls, becoming more expanded, loving, and authentic versions of ourselves in this relationship?”
If the answer is no, and there is no more commitment to serve each other’s growth, then your relationship is over. So long as there is a commitment to serving each other, even if it is challenging (which relationships can be) you can keep growing together.
The real success of relationship isn’t simply how many years you have been with someone, but how much you grew and realized your authentic self.
Certain people show up in your life to simply serve a function of helping you see a part of yourself that you get to reclaim or heal. It might last a few weeks, months, years or a lifetime. But you come together to learn those lessons, and once those lessons are complete, so is the relationship.
So, feel into finding the form of the relationship that allows the greatest love to be expressed. Sometimes we stay together out of obligation, but that serves no one really, simply causing us to withhold love. The truth serves all concerned, even if it might not seem that way at first. The truth will ultimately dissolve limits and cause expansion.
Sometimes breaking UP the form and finding a new way of relating with your partner simply allows you be able to love them without the limited expectations. Staying in a relationship when you are no longer in love, growing or committed is living death.
As the form of your relationship changes either through a break up, divorc or death, let the loving remain constant.
No forms last forever.
Only Love is real.
Just because a relationship ends does not mean the LOVING needs to.
Be committed to the loving no matter what happens.
Then you are free.
The rest are just details.